I read about People with ocd that had their symptoms before finding out what ocd is and it makes me think I am faking it because I cycle Quickly between different compulsions and make up New ones and I dont even think they calm me down. Its so weird. Before reading about ocd and being in online communities I only had some of the compulsions and they were entirely mental but afterwards they got worse and I got some more obvious ones. My main compulsion was checking mentally but now I might repeat phrases a certain amount of times and think this makes me a fraud.

This might be a stretch but can this thing force me to do compulsions without wanting to Just to prove to me that I am faking? I feel like it started when I started worrying I have factitious disorder

What I Just wrote makes no sense

@Alma It might be that your ocd is taunting you? Trying to get you to do things to prove that you have it since your fear at the moment is not having it or faking it

@Coul.C My pocd is slowly getting worse but when I was obsessing about faking my thoughts would constantly be "you dont have ocd why are you faking this disorder you are disgusting you are better do action x oh now you did it so you are clearly faking this what is wrong with you Just stop thinking about it and it Will go away better do action x but a bit differently no stop stop doing it OK you are seriously faking this". Lmao I dont even think its impairing my life apart from my sleep but I dont want these thoughts.

@Alma It is extremely uncomfortable. Whatever gets you to do a compulsion (whatever that compulsion might be is what ocd will use i think) you’re fueling it by doing the x y and z. Im not a specialist or anything but it does sound like you might have just right ocd as well? I sometimes do compulsions again and again and it doesn’t go away until i get w certain feeling . I guess if i feel extreme anxiety and then it goes away. Does that sound familiar?

@Coul.C I don't think I have that subtype, my subtype are pocd and harm ocd/real event ocd only. I also dont think I feel extreme anxiety anymore but I am compelled to distance the pocd thoughts lately with compulsions so that I dont feel guilty. I should stop them but I dont understand why I dont even when I feel only slight anxiety. Its probably easier to stop it now.

@Alma Its awesome that you dont feel extreme anxiety now! It’s good that you’ve made to that point :)

@Alma yea i can tell you’re definitely not faking it, i have the same subtypes as you. your thoughts have nothing to do with you especially if they give you anxiety. i like to envision intrusive thoughts as clouds passing by.

This sucks and I think if I give myself a pep talk and forget about it Ill stop faking but it never happens