In March, I started suffering from sexual orientation OCD (a new theme for me). Basically, I became obsessed with a thought that I might be straight after randomly getting aroused by a woman in a movie. Prior to that, I had mainly suffered from health-related obsessions. My anxiety hasn't subsided. I keep questioning and checking. I've read books about OCD, listened to countless podcasts - nothing helps. I've never been so depressed and apathetic on New Year's Eve. I ended up relapsing because a thought popped into my brain that you cannot resist your urges. I ended up watching porn today "to check". I understand that the sense of urgency, inevitably, and uncertainty is typical for OCD but my brain won't negotiate (especially when I get an erection because of intrusive thoughts).

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I totally get this! I enjoy women in porn more than men and that gives me the same thoughts despite always loving men. This sucks, and I get how much space it can take up in your life. You’re strong and you can get through this. Right now I know it feels so heavy and scary, but the clouds will lift eventually.

pureocd5558

Date posted: 4y

Hopefully... I've been waiting for these clouds to lift for more than half a year.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@pureocd5558 I’ve had this for 6 years, I totally get it. It really does mess with you. I’m at the point where I’m unsure if I even like men now. But I just remember to trust myself and how I feel with my husband. I hope you can find a way to trust yourself too

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