TW: contreversial opinion exposure about Pdophilia I had to do inventory for my job today which was from 3 AM to 11 so Im a little sleep deprived and OCD has a bit of a strong hold. I calmed down about POCD at work for a bit by coming to the understanding rhat even if I was a pdophile, i wouldnt want to hurt anyone and there's treatment out there to help make sure I can live a normal life. This is a similar approach I took from my fear of having schizophrenia. But after a while I became scared again that I'd even say such a thing and that Im a sympathizer and how people would hate me for saying something like that. A tik tok came up about abusing child molesters in prison and I felt scared as if theh were threatening me. I watched the tik tok over and over until my anxiety subsided. I told my mom and she kinda agreed with my mentality but it was a bit of a reassurance. I'm scared to tell my BF but I think I'll tell him when im a bit more alert and I'll also tell him, unless its a really persistent need, not to respond so I can live in the uncertainty of not knowing how he feels. So here's my opnion so I as an exposure to peoples perception about me. I don't want to be a pedophile and Im starting to learn im not one right now. But, as OCD is making me focus on, If i were to become one in the FUTURE, at least I can get help to make sure im not a danger to society. I would prefer they all came out to get help and prevent predatory behavior rather than hide and give in to their urges. Feel free to comment if you disagree or have different opinions, I need the ERP.

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

I don’t think you need to tell your boyfriend. Or that you should continue telling your mom about your obsessions since even you have identified her tendency towards reassurance. Reassurance seeking and confessing are both compulsions that won’t help you. And asking others to engage in your obsessions and compulsions with you isn’t good for your ocd or for your relationships with others. We are responsible for our own recovery and management of ocd. And it would be best to discuss these things with an ocd specialist directly. A support group for ocd could also be helpful since those involved know how to correctly respond to ocd. I agree that hypothetically someone could live as a non offending person attracted to children. But just be sure that you’re not using this for reassurance. My suggestion for ERP would actually be a script where it was impossible that you wouldn’t offend, that you do, and then write out all the consequences. Reading that script 20x a day for a week or two would probably be much more beneficial than trying to make peace with your obsession coming true.

Iwashere2

Date posted: 4y

I've done script writing of the worst case scenario before and im pretty much habituated but thats why my fear of "well maybe you dont actually offend byt you still like them" came up after watching virped videos. Maybe if I wrote a script about people finding out and wrongly accusing me. I think thats where the fear really is

Iwashere2

Date posted: 4y

I appreciate the accountability btw. I needed it to snap out of it

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

@Iwashere2 Great idea for a script! Write a false accusation one and work with that. OCD loves to keep digging. Keep calling it’s bluff with scripting!

Iwashere2

Date posted: 4y

@pureolife Sometimes being mean to it helps but sometimes being compassionate tknmy ocd helps too. Its weird. Def going to script it thr way you recoomended. Thanks 😊

Isabella

Date posted: 4y

I think I saw the same tik tok today, it sent me spiraling. Stay strong

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