- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
this sort of unlocked a memory of mine. in the handmaids tale, there was a lesbian subplot that I was interested in. WTF?? why was I so interested in it???
- Date posted
- 4y
If it’s something you’re having to consciously deliberate, you’re not actually a lesbian. You would just ‘know’ subconsciously. It would be in the same flow as the rest of your life, not something that stands out like this. Anyways, Your compulsion is trying to figure out whether you are a lesbian or not. Stop doing this compulsion, and things will resolve themselves over time, one way or another. But only if you stop doing compulsions regarding this lesbian obsession.
- Date posted
- 4y
what would it feel like to subconsciously “know”? I ask because I’ve had this obsession off and on for nine years and it feels like on the “off” parts I subconsciously “know” that i’m gay but able to brush it off, whereas sometimes i am not and I have panic attacks that lead to months of compulsions.
- Date posted
- 4y
hello?
- Date posted
- 4y
Are you saying that during the times when you’re not having any obsessions or compulsions regarding this, and the entire topic is off of your conscious mind for long periods of time, you ‘know’ you’re gay? Regardless, you need to stop trying to figure this out. Stop doing your compulsions which are trying to ‘figure out’ whether you are gay or bot, and the whole situation will somehow become more conciliatory to you. You’re doing too much. It’s a time to remain actionless and let things work themselves out over time. What will the outcome of this be? Only time will tell
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re right I only think about this when my anxiety is really really bad. Thank you for the comments
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w
I think it‘s not SO-OCD anymore. Too many real evidences from the past. At the time i was 12 years old and i had a girl-bestfriend. I really thought she‘s beautiful my heart dropped when i saw her and i even said after a fight with her that i love her. Real evidences from my past. The same when i was 5 years old. My then girl bestfriend and me got into an argue and i went to my mom to tell her that we had a fight and that i love her so much. I don‘t know i just think that makes me a lesbian. Is there someone with same experiences as me? I‘m 29 years old and i would love to habe a relationship
- Date posted
- 15w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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