It feels like there’s so much evidence for me being a lesbian. Like.. actual evidence. I once watched an anime (Hibike Euphonium) that ended up having like implied lesbian attraction between the main character and a side and I didn’t know that going in but when I found out I was really intrigued? I finished watching the show and did have some ‘feels’ over the relationship but it felt the same as like me shipping anything else and I didn’t really project myself onto them but the fact that I was interested enough in them to finish watching the show makes me feel like I’m a lesbian?? I’ve never really felt like same sex attraction applied to me, I couldn’t relate to the experience but why would I get ‘feels’ if I didn’t want that for myself?

lolashewas

Date posted: 4y

this sort of unlocked a memory of mine. in the handmaids tale, there was a lesbian subplot that I was interested in. WTF?? why was I so interested in it???

Uriel

Date posted: 4y

If it’s something you’re having to consciously deliberate, you’re not actually a lesbian. You would just ‘know’ subconsciously. It would be in the same flow as the rest of your life, not something that stands out like this. Anyways, Your compulsion is trying to figure out whether you are a lesbian or not. Stop doing this compulsion, and things will resolve themselves over time, one way or another. But only if you stop doing compulsions regarding this lesbian obsession.

lolashewas

Date posted: 4y

what would it feel like to subconsciously “know”? I ask because I’ve had this obsession off and on for nine years and it feels like on the “off” parts I subconsciously “know” that i’m gay but able to brush it off, whereas sometimes i am not and I have panic attacks that lead to months of compulsions.

lolashewas

Date posted: 4y

hello?

Uriel

Date posted: 4y

Are you saying that during the times when you’re not having any obsessions or compulsions regarding this, and the entire topic is off of your conscious mind for long periods of time, you ‘know’ you’re gay? Regardless, you need to stop trying to figure this out. Stop doing your compulsions which are trying to ‘figure out’ whether you are gay or bot, and the whole situation will somehow become more conciliatory to you. You’re doing too much. It’s a time to remain actionless and let things work themselves out over time. What will the outcome of this be? Only time will tell

aurokoi

Date posted: 4y

You’re right I only think about this when my anxiety is really really bad. Thank you for the comments

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