I’ve relapsed. I feel horrible. Everything feels so real and resisting compulsions (when I can make myself) makes me so anxious and upset I can hardly function. Especially when it’s just one trigger after another throughout my day. ERP is so much harder and I’m much more discouraged. Any advice on how I can get back to where I was? I know recovery and progress isn’t linear, but I was finally feeling happier about my life—I was finally starting to enjoy things again!—and I’ve relapsed and I hate feeling this horribly anxious and sad again. Please, any advice?

The stress of the holiday season. I got big triggers around then, and I didn’t want to spend my entire Christmas vacation in the awful anxiety that would come with resisting my compulsions to my scariest obsessions, so I did more compulsions than usual to relieve the anxiety, and I guess that worsened the OCD cycle. My OCD kept latching onto something new and huge every day and I just couldn’t resist because I didn’t want to have all that panic during holiday break. I guess I worsened my OCD, because now everything feels more real and resisting compulsions is much harder. I feel absolutely horrible and I’m so discouraged. I don’t know what to do to get back to how good I felt.

@Madison I guess the holidays pressured you in order to feel good during the time. I'm really sorry to hear that, but I guarantee a lot of us have felt this sensation to not be of any negative emotions during special occasions where we are normally thankful for what we have. Please don't blame yourself for things of that nature. I'm sorry you had felt that way. Maybe now that it's over, you can think of what you didn't do in terms of OCD that made you feel better. You said doing compulsions and trying too hard not to resist but can't because of the panic and pressure. It's fine that you feel the way you feel because those feelings are there for a reason. But, there are ways you can sit with the anxiety and diminish the urges and anxiety you may feel. Again, it's completely fine to have relapses. It's what comes with trying to get better.

@BigGip09 Thanks so much, BigGip! I really appreciate it :) The holidays were definitely stressful for a lot of those with OCD. Glad I wasn’t the only one. Would you happen to have any tips on how to get back to how good I was feeling before?

@Madison I might have a few! One tip is to not let setbacks like this make you feel strongly on the negative side. Don't beat yourself up for relapses because most times they are inevitable. Keep doing what you were doing that made the ocd weaker and made you happier such as disregarding thoughts, doing what gave you positive feelings, and not focusing on any kind of pressure that makes you feel forced to feel a certain type of way based on what it is. Disregard that as well. All of your feelings do matter and you should accept them. I think if you stick back to what made you feel great again, you can get back to where you were previously!! You can do so this, Madison. I believe in you!

@BigGip09 Thank you so much BigGip! I will absolutely keep working hard! Thanks again for the help and best of luck to you too! 😊

@BigGip09 Hey; did you blocked me? :(

@Saraa Hello. Are you the Sara that I met on discord some time ago? If so, long time no see!! I hope you're doing well and you've improved with your OCD! :) If this isn't you, then I don't think we've met, nor have I blocked anyone on this app.