Can a thought like “how do gay men even like men, men aren’t even as attractive as women.” Be an intrusive thought? It popped up randomly and I didn’t think much about it, but then I realized about what it could mean and freaked out. I used to find men attractive all the time before hocd, but now it feels like I don’t. I feel like I fall in love with every woman I see, even though I didn’t feel that way before. Was I hiding it in the past? I want to be straight. I’m also terrified that I’m homophobic and in denial :( I can’t even find men attractive anymore, it just feels forced. Why does it feel forced? Is that hocd or being in denial? Am I trying to convince myself I can be straight when in reality I’m not? I get very upset because there’s proof that I could be a lesbian. I used to watch a lot of porn, but not only that. I got aroused by music videos with women in it, twerking, lesbian porn, weird lesbian pictures, and lesbian cartoons. I liked watching that stuff, but yet I was okay with it back then. It didn’t bother me, and I still sought after guys while I was in school. I stopped watching all that stuff in may/June, then finally admitted to my boyfriend that I used to do it in July/August. That’s when my hocd started, and I noticed that my masturbation could have meant something. :( someone please help.