So there's one thing that always makes me feel insecure, spiral, and doubt pretty often aside from intrusive thoughts. And that thing is masturbation. I know people don't like to talk about it even though so many people and mammals do it themselves. I know it's not something people expect to hold dialogues on but it's something that's bothering me lately. This has always been something that I wasn't bothered by in the past. When I first discovered it, there were many ways on how I did it. Some were better than others, and I never felt bad about doing it because I always felt it was good that I found a way to make my body feel good whenever I wanted to. But now, in beginning to become really insecure about it, shameful, guilty, and disappointed when I do it, but at the same time there's something inside the way I feel that only wishes to do it whenever I'm aroused or when I want to feel better at a time where I'm not. I confuse anxiety with arousal, my thoughts are all over the place, and I get stressed. Sometimes, I just want to wind down and hope that I can take a break from those kind of things. And masturbating was one of the most common ways for me to do that ever since I was about 14. When I was younger, I never had any bad feelings towards it and I never judged myself for doing it, but now I do. Either when I'm in the middle of doing it or after doing it, my mind stats to really shut me down with thoughts I don't like but I try to ignore them and focus on how good it can make me feel. Even after it's over, that's when the thoughts like to try it's best to cloud into my judgement and make me feel horrible about myself. Is this a form of checking OCD? Is this a compulsion I shouldn't be doing? Is this avoidance in the sense that I shouldn't do it and sit with the stress, the discomfort, and the negative feelings even when I can subside it? This is something I used to have no problems with until I started to overthink the things I masturbated too or things that were uncalled for and very inappropriate and showed up at a bad place in the wrong time which has happened.. Does anyone have any advice? I guess my intrusive thoughts have also made this challenging for me