So there's one thing that always makes me feel insecure, spiral, and doubt pretty often aside from intrusive thoughts. And that thing is masturbation. I know people don't like to talk about it even though so many people and mammals do it themselves. I know it's not something people expect to hold dialogues on but it's something that's bothering me lately. This has always been something that I wasn't bothered by in the past. When I first discovered it, there were many ways on how I did it. Some were better than others, and I never felt bad about doing it because I always felt it was good that I found a way to make my body feel good whenever I wanted to. But now, in beginning to become really insecure about it, shameful, guilty, and disappointed when I do it, but at the same time there's something inside the way I feel that only wishes to do it whenever I'm aroused or when I want to feel better at a time where I'm not. I confuse anxiety with arousal, my thoughts are all over the place, and I get stressed. Sometimes, I just want to wind down and hope that I can take a break from those kind of things. And masturbating was one of the most common ways for me to do that ever since I was about 14. When I was younger, I never had any bad feelings towards it and I never judged myself for doing it, but now I do. Either when I'm in the middle of doing it or after doing it, my mind stats to really shut me down with thoughts I don't like but I try to ignore them and focus on how good it can make me feel. Even after it's over, that's when the thoughts like to try it's best to cloud into my judgement and make me feel horrible about myself. Is this a form of checking OCD? Is this a compulsion I shouldn't be doing? Is this avoidance in the sense that I shouldn't do it and sit with the stress, the discomfort, and the negative feelings even when I can subside it? This is something I used to have no problems with until I started to overthink the things I masturbated too or things that were uncalled for and very inappropriate and showed up at a bad place in the wrong time which has happened.. Does anyone have any advice? I guess my intrusive thoughts have also made this challenging for me

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l

Guys I just wanted to hang up and I was looking at pornography every time I was you know do it and I would get bombarded with thoughts I'd get overwhelmed with them like my mind is just constantly thinking of and it was just so hard infuriating I was looking at like anime pornography and Isaw one of the videos that looks familiar I watched it before but I remember they had like a underage anime character and then I clicked off it as soon as I saw them and my mom said oh you clicked it just so you can see that and what makes it worse is like pretty ejaculation already leaked out so now it feels like I did it i didn't even jerk off to you all I did was see the thumbnail and then I have thoughts like saying oh well might as well already get off to it when it wasnt the content I wanted to see I seen that the thumbnail before in the sight I just ignored it was focusing on the video I wanted to see for now I feel like i have to restart everything not only with the overwhelming thoughts but also my thoughts made it feel like I was actively seeking it like if I want my thought it was like oh you knew it was going to be there but u still click it anyway oh yes I had a feeling but as soon as I saw it I clicked off I don't know I'm just overthinking I guess and also like as soon as I saw it like my mind had a urge like might aswell get off to it finish it very hard I don't even remember how I climaxed I don't even know if I did it right but now I feel like I have to restart