Ok but seriously this time it feels like I’m in denial. The thoughts and feelings I’m getting right now seem so natural to me like they happen automatically. I don’t even feel bothered by them anymore it’s like I’ve just realised I’m actually bi/ lesbian but I just don’t want to be. I’d rather have the panic and the anxiety and the disgust over this feeling of truth. I saw a post explaining hocd and the caption said something about it only being hocd if you’re bothered about these thoughts all the time and I’m not getting them as regularly anymore and they don’t really trigger me. It feels so so so real.

okay. deep breaths. try and calm down. your okay. if you don’t want to be gay then you feel distressed thinking about it. try and relax and (ik it’s easier said than done) but try not to overthink it. say this to yourself for low level acceptance. “if i’m gay, then i am gay. there’s nothing i can do to change that. but i just don’t feel like i am gay right now. so i’m going to continue living a straight person”. this way your acknowledging that you COULD be gay, buttttt you don’t feel like you are. but please try not to overthink about it too much. it’s going to be okay ✨

what post was that?

It could be a back door spike? Try to educate yourself more on that. The more I have been doing ERP, there are many things that don’t trigger me like they used to. That doesn’t mean I’m gay. Sometimes you not being bothered could also be you’re finally accepting your thoughts. NOT ACCEPTING THEY ARE TRUE. But just accepting the presence of them and it doesn’t bother you as much. In general try to educate yourself more on OCD, it helps you understand what you’re feeling or sometimes not feeling.