- Username
- Stuckinmyhead
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I have the same trouble distinguishing whether something deserves a reaction. I’m learning to identify the urgency to address whatever the issue is as a sign it is likely OCD. I am working on delaying my response. If it’s worth getting upset about then I can still bring it up later. Why be compelled to do it now. The urgency is my clue to sit with it. I fail sometimes for sure but I want to work on this.
Thank you. That’s a very good idea. My struggle is mainly in the moment so I understand taking some time to think about it....but isn’t it okay to ask for clarification about something offbeat he says? Like, if I ask “what do you mean by that?” or “was that a joke?” I feel like that’s warranted? But if I continue to dig for answers and reassurance (ex. “do you PROMISE that was a joke?!” and “WHY would you say something like that?!”), is that when I need to take a break and sit with it? Sorry, just having trouble with this. If he says something that crosses the line, I want to address it right away, but I definitely want to understand when my OCD is taking over and I’m just panicking and seeking reassurance
@rewilding I have exactly the same issue. I agrrr with sku99, when you feel urgency to react, just don't. If you feel like the joke overcame your boundaries (was sexist, insulting..) adress that
@natalie123n Thank you very much. I think part of my problem is that I don’t even know where my boundaries lay. And everytime I get upset, I find myself wondering, if anyone else made this same joke or comment, would I get as upset? Or would I know they are just joking and brush it off? My anxiety has made him out to be this awful person and that’s why I get so scared and so flustered every time I’m triggered. It happened again tonight. This one definitely crossed a boundary and he apologized but I still find myself obsessing: “was he REALLY joking?” It’s just very exhausting and frustrating. And it’s frustrating for him too. We can never just have a normal conversation that doesn’t erupt into a long discussion about something he says. Thanks so much for the advice. It’s really nice to be able to chat with likeminded people and know I’m not alone
Oh my goodness, I know what you mean! I completely relate to what you wrote above and in the comments section. I find myself asking very similar if not identical questions. I’m sorry about that. It’s such a struggle to understand if how we react is truly us and how we really feel. I question if I’m really just annoyed by my partner or if it’s my rocd that’s making me overly reactive. I remember my therapist told me that if you are doing something for the purpose of reducing anxiety or achieving some sort of certainty when doubt occurs, then that is when you are seeking reassurance. But I can understand the struggle and how confusing and unclear and convincing it is at times.
And I too do have a problem to figure out if my reaction is appropriate. If you feel bad after reacting a lot, and ruminate about it, remind yourself that in your head the issue again seems much bigger
I have really terrible relationship OCD. The second I sense something is off, I overthink it until I’m exhausted and then I become uninterested in the relationship. At this point I don’t want to speak to my partner because ok afraid I’ll get triggered further. Any tips, thoughts?
Idk how to word this, but how do you think of or interact with your partner without triggering obsessions? I feel like my anxiety is getting to a point where I’m just triggered by even the thought of him and it makes it difficult. Idk how to stop the cycle once it gets to this point and just wondered if it made sense to anybody else?
I don’t know if what I have is OCD or just severe anxiety.. I’m really confused. Every time I do something that I feel bad about I will think about it for ages and it will ruin my day, and feel guilty. I keep getting emotional all the time and feel distressed , as if something is off but I can’t explain. Occasionally I have the urge to confess things and if I don’t they will be In my head making me not feel present. And I keep focusing on my partner and getting the urge to break up when I don’t actually want that (of course I have doubts like everyone does) but it’s more of a urgent upsetting feeling which hasnt left for 5 months, the only time it seems to go away temporarily is when I’m with him. and I’m soooo confused. My therapist told me I would have had OCD as a child so I can’t have it (I’m 20 years old but I don’t know what is going on with me). Starting to think I’m going insane as this has been going on for several months now!
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