- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have the same trouble distinguishing whether something deserves a reaction. I’m learning to identify the urgency to address whatever the issue is as a sign it is likely OCD. I am working on delaying my response. If it’s worth getting upset about then I can still bring it up later. Why be compelled to do it now. The urgency is my clue to sit with it. I fail sometimes for sure but I want to work on this.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you. That’s a very good idea. My struggle is mainly in the moment so I understand taking some time to think about it....but isn’t it okay to ask for clarification about something offbeat he says? Like, if I ask “what do you mean by that?” or “was that a joke?” I feel like that’s warranted? But if I continue to dig for answers and reassurance (ex. “do you PROMISE that was a joke?!” and “WHY would you say something like that?!”), is that when I need to take a break and sit with it? Sorry, just having trouble with this. If he says something that crosses the line, I want to address it right away, but I definitely want to understand when my OCD is taking over and I’m just panicking and seeking reassurance
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@rewilding I have exactly the same issue. I agrrr with sku99, when you feel urgency to react, just don't. If you feel like the joke overcame your boundaries (was sexist, insulting..) adress that
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@natalie123n Thank you very much. I think part of my problem is that I don’t even know where my boundaries lay. And everytime I get upset, I find myself wondering, if anyone else made this same joke or comment, would I get as upset? Or would I know they are just joking and brush it off? My anxiety has made him out to be this awful person and that’s why I get so scared and so flustered every time I’m triggered. It happened again tonight. This one definitely crossed a boundary and he apologized but I still find myself obsessing: “was he REALLY joking?” It’s just very exhausting and frustrating. And it’s frustrating for him too. We can never just have a normal conversation that doesn’t erupt into a long discussion about something he says. Thanks so much for the advice. It’s really nice to be able to chat with likeminded people and know I’m not alone
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Oh my goodness, I know what you mean! I completely relate to what you wrote above and in the comments section. I find myself asking very similar if not identical questions. I’m sorry about that. It’s such a struggle to understand if how we react is truly us and how we really feel. I question if I’m really just annoyed by my partner or if it’s my rocd that’s making me overly reactive. I remember my therapist told me that if you are doing something for the purpose of reducing anxiety or achieving some sort of certainty when doubt occurs, then that is when you are seeking reassurance. But I can understand the struggle and how confusing and unclear and convincing it is at times.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
And I too do have a problem to figure out if my reaction is appropriate. If you feel bad after reacting a lot, and ruminate about it, remind yourself that in your head the issue again seems much bigger
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
- Date posted
- 18w ago
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
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