- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Good luck to you and especially to Kane ☺️. I've been in psychotherapy for years ( not ERP TYPE ) I personally think , just myself , that it's very hard to see positive in especially negative experiences but with effort we can find something good and positive out of practically anything . I'm concerned that because you are feeling so overwhelmed ( rightfully so !!!! ) you might not see that anything positive came of your/ your son's therapy but it has ! You and Kane are better informed , you know what doesn't work and maybe more .. please be sure not to identify this experience as " failure " . I say this particularly because I'm concerned Kane might see himself as the " failure " which is completely untrue , right ? I'm a mother too . I have several psych issues and have taken on the role and identity of " the failure " in some situations and now I can see these experiences as just stepping stones to health and progress , to peace ☮️ I'm glad you wrote in and honestly shared too . Sounds so frustrating and I'm thinking about you and how exausted you feel . I have a son ( grown up now , very successful ) who struggled with high functioning autism and depression diagnosed at two years old . I know that frustration , fatigue , the ENDLESS IEP NAVIGATION ! and the guilt I took on personally because I felt like I could not protect/help my child . It was horrible , BUT he is doing good now . If I could offer one thing , one bit of advice in retrospect of my experience ? Take really good care of yourself 💖 Love and nurture you . Good luck with all
- Date posted
- 4y
Sorry to hear of such a rough time. You guys are trying your absolute best for your son and he is trying his best too! Sounds like you can clearly see this isn't working. I would cease any more meetings, no need for it to continue and only frustrate you all as family any more. Have a chat with a nocd therapist here, it sounds like a great place to have therapy! And it is covered by most insurances 😊 May God direct your sons help and recovery. Pray to God about it too and He will direct the steps 😊
- Date posted
- 4y
That sounds terrible! If he hasn’t gotten help this far and you’ve given the program multiple weeks, I’d pull him out for sure! (I’m no professional, though) What is your son dealing with? I’d recommending trying NOCD therapy again too. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this. I know the disheartening struggle of trial and error. But don’t give up! There IS hope! Keep searching for answers for your son until you find them. He’s so blessed to have a family that cares! 💖
- Date posted
- 4y
I appreciate this! Sometimes you have to just “call it” when it isn’t working. You lifted my spirits. Thank you!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you! That’s good advice on the language we use. Agree it’s not a total failure in reality. I just feel so dumb giving this program a try when there were so many red flags. You get desperate as a parent. And who knows—what if it were great. I just realize that so much of this journey you have to handle on your own as a family. Nobody is going to save the day here. It’s a long long long journey and the most we can hope for is slight improvement, maybe his whole life. I’m glad your son is doing good now. I am scared to have hope. It’s been so hard.
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re the first person to listen and care. This response means so much to me. And hearing your input on ending the meetings is helpful. Agree on leaning on God. He will direct the steps. I’ve been awake all night and yiur post might help me fall asleep. I just wanted someone to care. You did that. Thank you. <tears>
- Date posted
- 4y
Aww wow. Well the God of all comfort, wanted to send you that comfort because He cares so much about you and your family. You've done the absolute best! And one day you will be able to help someone in a similar situation. All the best for the next steps, Prehaps here on Nocd 😊. Rest well, all is being taken care of.
- Date posted
- 4y
Just as I put my phone down I thought of this song.. So maybe it will help you. This helps in my the pits of distress: https://youtu.be/eyHn_KPm3uk 😊
- Date posted
- 4y
@ButterflyStar Wow that is so lovely and perfect and simple. Just pray. About everything. Yes.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ButterflyStar I NEEDED " Your Song " today ...so many days .. sharing this with my loved ones , all. Thank you ❤️ . Everyone needs hope and others and we all need to know there is something much greater than us , or our thought and fears . This song so touches my heart ... again much thanks 💖
- Date posted
- 4y
@cricketbooboo Aw I'm so glad it was helpful. God wanted to encourage you! 💟
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- Date posted
- 8w
My ROCD is at an all time high right now. I have an appointment set up, but the wait is awful. My husband found one of my erp exercises where I write a sentence about him maybe not being the right partner. I had forgotten to throw it away. Of course it made him sad. I feel so ashamed and like I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. The sad part is, the thought comes,"if he ends it, at least I might get some relief". I feel like the worst wife.
- Date posted
- 20d
Anyone else feel like they just sit there during sessions? Like I can’t wait for it to be over so I don’t have to do this twice a week anymore. I think I’m putting in effort but sometimes feels like a huge waste of time and I’m not making progress but maybe that’s just my ocd?
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