Hi everyone. My son (14) is having a terrible experience at Rogers IOP and we feel we need to leave the program. What’s it like to leave a program in the middle of it? He completed full 6weeks of IOP at Rogers online, which was so disorganized. He’d get links for n multiple places, sometimes after a meeting had started. It CAUSED him anxiety. He only got his plan and schedule and distress list 4-5 week into the 6 week program. So they recommended he move to an in person program which has been worse. We drive 90 minutes every day for Kane to sit in a windowless room by himself for three hours with the behaviorist popping in for maybe the mins total. I have no idea what hat they’re working on, but hat the plan is, how I’m supposed to help at home, just anything. The therapist doesn’t seem to know even the basics about him. We finally met with her 7 days into the program and she was asking me basic questions, like Does he have an IEP? We’d answered repeatedly in the hours and hours of intake meetings. It was like they didn’t know much about him or why he was there! My sons behavior is worse, we’ve totally disrupted our family and other kids by spending 7 hours a day away from home every day. I just don’t feel they are organized or coordinating. I don’t feel any real care or compassion. I’m so heartbroken. Two totally failed IOPs. It seems crazy not to me not to end this program at this point. But I have no idea what it means to end a program in the middle or what to do for my son now. We tried NOCD several months ago and loved it, so maybe we try this again. I’m so sad and disappointed. This has all been so exhausting for everyone and to have it end in failure, worse than where we started, is devastating. 😞 you welcome your advice.

Good luck to you and especially to Kane ☺️. I've been in psychotherapy for years ( not ERP TYPE ) I personally think , just myself , that it's very hard to see positive in especially negative experiences but with effort we can find something good and positive out of practically anything . I'm concerned that because you are feeling so overwhelmed ( rightfully so !!!! ) you might not see that anything positive came of your/ your son's therapy but it has ! You and Kane are better informed , you know what doesn't work and maybe more .. please be sure not to identify this experience as " failure " . I say this particularly because I'm concerned Kane might see himself as the " failure " which is completely untrue , right ? I'm a mother too . I have several psych issues and have taken on the role and identity of " the failure " in some situations and now I can see these experiences as just stepping stones to health and progress , to peace ☮️ I'm glad you wrote in and honestly shared too . Sounds so frustrating and I'm thinking about you and how exausted you feel . I have a son ( grown up now , very successful ) who struggled with high functioning autism and depression diagnosed at two years old . I know that frustration , fatigue , the ENDLESS IEP NAVIGATION ! and the guilt I took on personally because I felt like I could not protect/help my child . It was horrible , BUT he is doing good now . If I could offer one thing , one bit of advice in retrospect of my experience ? Take really good care of yourself 💖 Love and nurture you . Good luck with all

Sorry to hear of such a rough time. You guys are trying your absolute best for your son and he is trying his best too! Sounds like you can clearly see this isn't working. I would cease any more meetings, no need for it to continue and only frustrate you all as family any more. Have a chat with a nocd therapist here, it sounds like a great place to have therapy! And it is covered by most insurances 😊 May God direct your sons help and recovery. Pray to God about it too and He will direct the steps 😊

That sounds terrible! If he hasn’t gotten help this far and you’ve given the program multiple weeks, I’d pull him out for sure! (I’m no professional, though) What is your son dealing with? I’d recommending trying NOCD therapy again too. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this. I know the disheartening struggle of trial and error. But don’t give up! There IS hope! Keep searching for answers for your son until you find them. He’s so blessed to have a family that cares! 💖

Thank you! That’s good advice on the language we use. Agree it’s not a total failure in reality. I just feel so dumb giving this program a try when there were so many red flags. You get desperate as a parent. And who knows—what if it were great. I just realize that so much of this journey you have to handle on your own as a family. Nobody is going to save the day here. It’s a long long long journey and the most we can hope for is slight improvement, maybe his whole life. I’m glad your son is doing good now. I am scared to have hope. It’s been so hard.

You’re the first person to listen and care. This response means so much to me. And hearing your input on ending the meetings is helpful. Agree on leaning on God. He will direct the steps. I’ve been awake all night and yiur post might help me fall asleep. I just wanted someone to care. You did that. Thank you. <tears>