I'm so scared right now, I don't think my intrusive thoughts are intrusive anymore. I feel completely numb and disconnected from everything and everyone. I feel like I'm insane. I don't feel reassured by anything which makes me think I want the thoughts. for example I have harm ocd thoughts about my daughter and always have since she was born, she is now 9. I've suffered terribly with mental health since she was born. and an intrusive thought I have just had is "if I killed her i wouldn't be anxious anymore" can thoughts become this distressing? this can't be normal, please someone help.

Please let a professional know at once ..I don't intend to alarm ANYONE but mental health/ mental illness can contribute to your having these thoughts and both you and your daughter DESERVE to get this help . You might consider letting a very trusted friend or family stay with you or allow your child to take a break at their house while you get help and recoup / recover a bit . This must be heartbreaking and terrifying and that's perfectly " normal " , the reaction is normal . The thought itself and what is causing it really must be first addressed by a Dr ( psychiatrist/ psychologist ) because one MUST rule out a medical cause in your situation . Go to the E.R. with great honesty in your heart if you don't have a psychiatrist. If you have one or a therapist ? CALL NOW . They WANT you to seek help.

I feel this way too sometimes. I have a different subtype, but I too become numb and disconnected. If I do ____, then I won’t be anxious anymore is a common thought too. It’s a LIE from your brain to give in to whatever compulsion you have. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s extremely painful.

As a nurse and because I am a professional trained when to identify a potential , possible very serious issue like this ...I err on the safe side of the childs safety / welfare . Are you familiar with mandated reporters and how many bad outcomes / tragedies are avoided ? Listening 🎧 is critical ...there's two phases to this 1. Thinking you might harm a vulnerable child - thought 2. Considering the act may relieve ones suffering ( solution ? ) Are you qualified or do you personally know this person well enough to say " Nevermind , this child is fine , it's okay " and write it off as OCD at once ? It may very well be but I am just adding another set of eyes , my own input .

I certainly feel for you 🤗 Hope you get your panic under control too . Very glad you are trying.

My post did not " cause you to panic " . ..your problem does . The OCD as you say .

I'm praying for you Kimberly