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- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
it sucks though when you have frequent dreams about yourself cheating on your partner🤦🏽♀️. i really cant tell if the dreams happen becaude of my anxiety of being a cheater, or if it’s some subconscious message. thank you for this though✨
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- 4y
Theres a book called overcoming intrusive thoughts and your doubts and what ifs feel real because they induce feelings that youre affraid of our brain automatically thinks that because we have these doubts that they must be an indication of wrong doing in fact they’re not. Whenever you get your what ifs and doubts aknowledge them and recognize that hey they don’t mean anything they’re not a message that you did something wrong. And as for your dreams your dreams have no meaning what we are currently worried about pop up in our dreams I keep having cheating dreams and within these dreams I feel calm or then I realize oh crap I have a boyfriend. Remember dreams are just dreams they use whatever you’re currently worried about
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- 4y
Can you please explain what an emotional affair is?
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- 4y
An emotional affair is when you talk smack about your partner to someone youre flirting with like “they aint shit they disgust me I can’t stand being with them” or you tell them things you wouldn’t tell your partner like you had an amazing day today and got a raise at work and instead of telling your partner you tell the person you are currently flirting with and interested in leaving your partner with
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- 4y
@Ella___ Gotcha thank you
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- 4y
@One Day at a time I read what you had wrote in one of my cheating ocd posts and trust me the simple fact that you are ruminating to find out goes to show nothing happened I’m not trying to give you reassurance but the reason you and I believe we have done something wrong in our current relationships is because these what ifs and doubts pop out and based on the book im reading that was made by psychologists and therapists who are pros at ocd what ifs and doubts feel real because our brain believes that what ifs are some type of message that it must be true because of how we react to it but in reality what ifs are never past or future and the only reason we believe them to be so is because they bring anxiety and guilt into the picture. Remember a cheater doesnt feel guilty or worried about hurting their partner a cheater fears getting caught and a cheater fears feeling guilty about their actions not on what their actions will do to hurt their partner.
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- 4y
@Ella___ Ugh sometimes I worry because I am afraid of being labeled as a cheater. Of course I don’t want to hurt my partner but I also don’t want to be labeled a cheater. So that worries me so much. My partner has told me that she forgives me if I ever did so I feel like the guilt and worry is more about disappointment in myself. I had also never thought about emotional affairs before so that kinda triggered me and now I’m wondering if I ever did that. I wonder if people know that I did cheat if I did and gossip about me. So it’s kinda scarying me because that’s what a real cheater would feel right?
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- 4y
@One Day at a time Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m scared that I feel guilty for the wrong reasons. All the possible scenarios of me cheating or having an emotional affair was like 6 years ago. Would I just start feeling guilt now? I also feel more guilt when my partner shows me affection because I feel like if I did cheat I don’t deserve her love.
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- 4y
@One Day at a time I’m literally freaking out
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- 4y
@One Day at a time I do fear about my actions. But I also fear my partner being hurt :( the last thing I want to do is hurt them. I’m not really afraid of getting caught because I’ve confessed every possible scenario to her. I’m afraid of it being true and ruining what we have. She’s told me many times to leave it in the past but I can’t seem to do it :/
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- 4y
@One Day at a time Real cheaters don’t care about gossiping
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- 4y
@Ella___ You didn’t care if people called you a cheater?
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- 4y
@Ella___ what book is this?
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- 4y
@lozg Its called overcoming intrusive thoughts
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- 4y
@Optimism No I did not i have cheated in abpast relationship before but not in this one Thank God
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- 4y
I don’t have a fear of being a cheater but I do have a fear my partner might cheat on me with his ex. She once admitted to me when she drunkingly sent me a DM that she cheated on him for the last few two years of their relationship. After talking so much smack about how ugly he was and how she made him- she said that and I was so livid. I kept thinking to myself, “Holy shit well she obviously doesn’t have any morals so she could come looking for him again when he gets lonely.” Him laughing it off and saying it’s fine to now worry about because he was done with the relationship before it officially ended made me worry. I always used to compare myself to her but that sounds like the kind of person I would never want to be. Thank you.
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- 3y
I know this post is old but I have actually flirted over text with someone 3 years ago whilst in my relationship and I can’t stop thinking about it worrying if I have cheated do you think I have?
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