Can someone tell me grave differences between HOCD and internalized homophobia ?

Not homophobic, not wanting to be gay is not homophobic, it’s not who u are

No, if she still likes guys, she likes guys

If she wants to be gay, then she might be I don’t know, she’s maybe bi

@Minecraft22 Hmmm but when I tell her ok it’s fine go be gay - she says “ I can’t because internally I feel straight “

It’s okay, I just understand what you’re saying. It’s really hard to know

I honestly don’t want to be bi but I feel like this means something and I hate it. I just see women as sex objects and want to view myself in their positions, w men using women. So this whole porn thing screwed up my perspective and have made it so hard to stop this

If someone told you what I told you, what would you tell them? You sound gay or bi? I mean that’s kind of what it comes down to

@wellwellwell And so regardless of what I may believe or your daughter thinks, if it’s clear they’re gay or bi and not accepting it, it’s denial. Which makes this stuff so hard

I mean I really don’t know. I’m afraid of being bi too if that means anything sadly. I don’t know how she feels but the idea of just now realizing really scares me

@wellwellwell If I’m a lesbian, my whole marriage is doomed so I guess there’s greater stakes for me than your daughter. But I felt the same way as her, got over and it went back to solely being with men, and now I’m here

@wellwellwell How’d u get over the thought

@wellwellwell How old were you when you first had symptoms? Or started questioning??

@rachel1219 13, it got really really bad at 17

@wellwellwell Did you 100 percent know you didn’t want to be gay ? My daughter says “I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t know what to do” I think it’s because the ocd confuses. I’m like “ok do you want to be gay “. And she just looks at me very sad and says “I don’t know who I am anymore “

@rachel1219 And all this happened in the span of 4 months

@rachel1219 It started with me knowing 100%. But the worse it gets, the harder it is to know anymore. It’s like a constant headache and nothing makes sense. I vomited a lot and just sobbed because I felt hopeless and just plain dreadful

@wellwellwell Mine happened like that too. Within 3 months I deteriorated.

@wellwellwell Did your parents know ? I try to help her everyday hoping one day there is a light at the end of the tunnel

@wellwellwell How did u get over it

@rachel1219 They did. And they did what they could. But I had ocd from a really young age and never managed it. So when this happened everything surfaced in a bad way

@wellwellwell Yes how did you get over it ?

@wellwellwell I didn’t really get over it. I did something sexual w my boyfriend and got turned on and thought wow I must not be gay. But it’s come back and it’s worse than ever now that I’m married

@wellwellwell How did you get over it ? I’m assuming you went to college and things normalized when you met men and started dating them? Sorry if I’m too personal

@wellwellwell I’m almost convinced now I’m gay and in denial (bc of what I posted above) and it tears me apart. I should’ve done erp when it first happened

@wellwellwell How do u do erp

@wellwellwell And yeah, I got to college and I wanted to hook up with boys only. Had thoughts about men. Etc. but I have had a hard time w intimacy so that adds to my HOCD now

@wellwellwell Even though I crushed on boys, wanted boys, etc. it just seems that the evidence is stacking

@wellwellwell And you should just google erp! They have great guides!!

@wellwellwell Did you use to look at every girl and wonder if she is pretty etc and have sexual intrusive thoughts about her etc etc . My daughter does rhis all day long

@rachel1219 Yep. It’s exhausting

@wellwellwell And then I’d cry and ask my mom about all of it. I found porn REALLY young (personal, sorry) and it was my dad’s stuff of naked women that I found and I was really interested By it and associated it with sex, so it was arousing. Never thought anything of it until one day I felt happy w my boyfriend and thought “am I gay??” 6 years since I’m a wreck

@wellwellwell How did your mom help you cope ? I don’t want her to ruin her high school years in rhis mess. If she truly likes guys I’m sure that will keep rearing it’s head and give her re assurance ? But I would be interested to know how your mom helped you

@rachel1219 She got me into a specialist and got me on medication. And she was there for me any time I needed it to talk. Just being around and willing to listen was so helpful

@wellwellwell Ok- my daughter is on Zoloft and isn’t really doing much. How did the specialist help you ? Another thing that doesn’t help my daughter is she is in a group of friends with 7 girls . One of them came out as gay last year and she said she has known since she was in 2nd grade and she is a pretty confident girl and it does not bother her she is gay. Up until 4 months my daughter was hanging out with her - now my daughter is scared to even see her . I just don’t understand why 6th and 7th graders are coming out with these sexual terms - gay , bi , pan sexual at such an early age. It was def not like this for me and I went to school in Illinois . I don’t even know half these labels. I think this messes a kid up even more

@rachel1219 It was just good to learn about ocd and how my brain works. They also help you manage symptoms! And yeah that’s tough, I can only hope for her that she is able to become less scared of the idea and continue her friendships

@wellwellwell How long has she been on Zoloft?

@wellwellwell But I told Her - if her friend automatically knew in 2nd grade and here we are ending 7th grade almost .... and for the past 7 years you have only liked boys ..... I think 🤔 then you are not gay ? And then she is like “but you don’t know that mamma” and then the cycle starts again ... sigh

@wellwellwell 2 months - only 25 mg. Doc wants to up her to 50 mg . Not sure if heavily medicating her is the answer. Not sure what to do.

@rachel1219 Yep. I don’t know if you read what I commented above. That’s how it started for me. If she has any experiences like that, it’s going to be very hard to squash the ocd

@wellwellwell You could try therapy first

@wellwellwell By doing erp ? She doesn’t even wanna watch a romance movie with me anymore . She use to love them. She thinks she will Look at the girl too much. I will try though...

@rachel1219 Go slowly! Maybe start by just watching a cartoon show together with girls, so it’s not real women and less scary, and then try a level up from that

@wellwellwell Yes I could do that - she is also going back to in person school next week. I’m forecasting mini panic attacks after seeing girls in the classroom. Praying for everyone a smooth transition 🙏🙏

@rachel1219 It’ll be okay, it’ll be scary for her at first but eventually she’ll be desensitized

@wellwellwell Thank you so much . Things will work out for you too. I know they will

@rachel1219 I’m really not sure they will. Like I said above, I feel like anyone would read what I wrote about naked men vs women and assume I must be at least bi. I want peace but I don’t know it will come. I pray for your daughter, she’ll be okay!! She has a mom who’s showing up for her!

@wellwellwell She made a list of both genders the other day - pros and cons. I am assuming that’s a compulsion

@wellwellwell My daughter told me today she does compulsions in her head to prove she is straight

i suggest seeing an ocd specialist, if your daughter doesn't want to be gay because it doesn't align her values then it's definitely hocd

@seokggukify Yes she told me today she does compulsions in her head to prove she is straight