How to date with hocd and rocd? I have no dating experience and I'm struggling. I've tried dating apps but never really find anyone I feel attracted to which fuels everything. I've been alone for so long it feels pointless. I also feel tons of anxiety to even date. Not sure how to navigate this.

Yes I'm really noticing that, like if I peel back the layer of the hocd I'm just terrified and feel overwhelmed with dating. I'd rather just avoid it, because it scares me alot.

@Anonymous Right, I personally have a hard time opening up simply because I fear rejection and all. I just recently let go of a really good guy and looking back at it I regret it, like I basically self sabotaged the relationship:/

@Ximena G I totally get that. It's super hard for me to open up too. I also have issues with commitment, I just easily feel overwhelmed and like it's too much with dating. I did the same thing with a guy, in reality we weren't a good fit. But I really held onto that for a long time and felt bad because the ocd made it hard and I pushed him away. I think it's not too late and we all have to make mistakes and forgive ourselves. I didn't contact him because I just don't think we were compatible. But, if things were different I totally would have reached out to him again knowing what I do now somewhat with the OCD. But, it still gives me anxiety lol

@Anonymous Gotcha, when I was with this guy and I let him go he reached out to me and said if I wanted to try again I’m the future that he was willing to try it again. But when I was with him I was more constantly worrying rather than being in the present moment and enjoying it and I felt overwhelmed. Like my hocd made it impossible for me to enjoy being with him, like once day we were talking and he mentioned a gay guy and I immediately panicked and that’s why I felt overwhelmed with everything. An astonishing thing is that he even told me he noticed I reacted to certain things and then of course I thought he thinks I’m gay and I started overthinking everything like oh he can do better and why would he want to be with someone like me. Like it sucks I really want to be in relationship but I just feel like I’m gonna ruin it with my current situation. I don’t start therapy on here in two weeks so I’m looking forward to that but I am scared too:/

@Ximena G I totally get that, that's how I was most of the time too. I highly doubt he thinks you are gay, maybe he just noticed a reaction so pointed it out. I have similar feelings though where I feel I don't have much to offer a relationship and I think I have bad self worth due to OCD. I think it's great you are starting therapy. It will definitely help! I also think if you really like this guy and he likes you and wants to try again I wouldn't write it off. I know how hard it is I'm struggling too, but as my therapist says there will never be a perfect time to be with someone. Maybe by going through therapy it can help give you more confidence and clarity about the situation. But, you can still have what you want even with the OCD.

@Anonymous I actually stuffer from low self esteem as well that’s what made everything worse. Like I would question why is he with me? Does he really like me? Etc.. but yeah you do make a point about there’s never a perfect time to be with someone. I definitely feel like reaching out to him, I called it quits last March:/

There were a couple guys where I got close to wanting to date and it was torture going back and forth if I liked them or not. Also questioning if I was attracted or not. So my therapist thinks that is rocd making dating hard.

@Anonymous i totally understand. mine has sort of manifested in the way where i’m constantly thinking about my crush, if he’s into me or not, what he’s doing, if he likes someone else, etc. but i’m unsure if that’s rocd. it feels a lot like ocd to me, but idk.

@doloresguppies I think some of that is normal, but then ocd gets involved and takes it even further. Awaken Into Love has alot of videos on YouTube they are like therapists on ROCD. Maybe that would give more clarity. I think it manifests in quite a few different ways