I just want this HOCD gone from my life. If it’s even HOCD. I accidentally say homosexual stuff constantly while I’m acting and it triggers me. I can’t even get a girl to save my life. And I get all these fucking intrusive thoughts and feelings. I just want a girl man. A girl who will stay by me and love me. But I can’t even have that. Cause I’m dealing with THIS SHIT!!! I’m in a phone call with my friend and my HOCD is giving me intrusive feelings along with the thoughts of “I want to be gay or bisexual in denial.” I keep getting this rising feeling in my chest and shit. Like I’m getting feelings like I want to be gay or bisexual but I don’t. It’s horrible. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual in denial. I nearly typed “I want to be gay or bisexual but I don’t” and I have no anxiety about it. I fucking hate it. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual. For fucks sake.

I acted out a scene as a character in this show, and I then found out later the characters gay and I didn’t know it. And now I’m trying not to freak out and I keep getting this feeling in my chest while the fact he’s gay keeps playing in my mind. I wanna freak out so badly. It feels like real attraction and it scares me badly. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual in denial my

@Anonymous It may not seem like much help but when your in a very high anxiety state like I have been many times before, the best thing to do is just let it come. You say you have this feeling in your chest, this is from the anxiety. Try not to fight it, just let those feeling come. As horrible as they are, it’s just anxiety. It’s actually a sign your brain and body are just doing their job well. Try to recognise what it is in the moment. Say to yourself this is just Anxiety., yes it feels horrible, yes it’s not fun and we wish it wasn’t here but it’s only temporary. The best advice I have ever heard about anxiety was the following analogy. Imagine your sitting in your living room and you are watching T.V in the middle of the day, suddenly one of your neighbours car alarm goes off. What do we tend to do in that situation? Do we immediately assume that something is wrong? Do we run outside to check it? Do we ring our neighbours immediately and tell them that their is a robber in the middle of day right outside there house definitely robbing their car? Nearly all of the time we do nothing, because we know that our neighbours car alarm goes off from time to time for whatever reason. They might have knocked up against it, a ball may have it, etc... Now back to you in sitting down watching T.V, what happens when the neighbours car alarm goes off. We usually sit down and do absolutely nothing. We sit their thinking, “wow that is loud”, it’s an uncomfortable situation and it’s unpleasant. However, we sit with the confidence knowing that the alarm will eventually turn off. And what always happens, it does turn off. This is the way we have treat anxiety, it’s just our brain firing a false alarm. If we can recognise it for what we allow ourselves to feel the symptoms of anxiety but we don’t fight them. We know that’s it here and will be gone sooner then when it came. Hope this helps