When I was little I bullied someone and I can’t seem to find the person I bullied so I asked my old baby sitter to see if she knows her mother or her name still haven’t recieved a response. But I’m just feeling bad because what if she committed suicide because I bullied her I know they’re just what ifs but thinking about it just scares me so much I’ve had about two panic attacks over this.

Thank you so much and I was bullied myself as a kid as well but I feel so bad for bullying her. The thing is I remember as a child I used to copy what I would see on tv and I recall I choked her once and now that I’m older I feel so bad because I’m like did I traumatize her does she have ptsd from it I’ve been trying to look for her so I could apologize and help her in any way. But my ocd keeps giving me these what ifs and I’m terribly scared.

I just want to find her and tell her i am so sorry and help her if she’s gone through anything due to what I did as a kid.

@Ella___ Do you think that you were negatively affected by the bulling? Did the bulling you experienced have a life altering affect on you?

@Archer Honestly the bullying affected me at the time when i was being bullied but then i let it go. Now that im older the bullying i endured doesn’t bug me. Never even crosses my mind.

@Ella___ Then I imagine it's the same for this person :) I feel like the bulling we endure as a kid doesn't -really- affect our adult selves. We remember it, and it does suck, but we grow so much beyond that

@Archer Youre right i just feel bad for choking her and i remember i even told her if she told anyone i choked her id kill her obviously i wouldnt have I was just copying what i saw on tv. I just feel so bad for it but youre right even when i was a child and got bullied i got hit from behind my back to where i lost the ability to breath for about a minute but it doesnt bring me trauma.

@Archer Pluss we where kids I was 7 i think she was about 5 or 6

@Ella___ Well to ease your mind, do what you're doing! Try and find her, and apologize for what you did. Hopefully that'll help ease your mind knowing that that problem is resolved ❤ How are you feeling after this?

@Archer Honestly this helped me a lot it gave me clarity i had a break down earlier because of how bad i felt and how my ocd was making me feel it helped me find clarity and think rationally. But I’m going to find her and I have hope that I will I just wish I knew her name hopefully my baby sitter responds soon I want to find her and give her the biggest hug and tell her that im sorry and if i caused any damage ill help her with anything.

@Ella___ I'm so glad that I could help ❤ I truly hope that this works out for you! If you remember, I would love to have an update!

@Archer I will update you hopefully she answers soon om just affraid she wont remember and i wont be able to find out where she is.. i think thats what scares me is not knowing and then the doubt comes in but youre right most of us as children especially at around age 5 or 6 we really don’t remember much. I could be worried for no reason she could possibly not even remember.

@Ella___ If she can't remember, then there are other ways of trying to find her! You can check old year books, putting familiar names in Facebook/Instagram, asking friends/old classmates. There is always a way :)

@Archer The thing is she didn’t go to school with us we where all baby sat together and i asked her son if he remembers but he doesn’t

@Ella___ Do you know what highschool she went to? Or if she was apart of any groups?