footballsoccer2019
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AnonymousAnonymous
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I’m not sure if this would help, but maybe if we look at the worse case scenario that you are are gay: I don’t think it would ruin her life. Would it suck? Definitely. But she would eventually come to terms that you couldn’t help who you are and move on. I’m f/bisexual and married to a man and I worry about being gay as well and having to get a divorce. Thoughts will run through my head like, “That just can’t be something that happens to me!” But I’ve said that about things that have happened, and I still got to the other side of them. I hope this helps.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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Thanks. It’s not an acceptable outcome to me. I don’t want that to ever happen.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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Do you confess your ocd feafs that you are gay to your husband ?
AnonymousAnonymous
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@footballsoccer2019 I’m sorry that’s not an acceptable answer for you, I was thinking if the fear behind it was less debilitating maybe it wouldn’t seem so scary. Sorry if I added to your fears. We’ve talked about them, yeah. Not so much me straight up saying “I’m scared I’m gay” but I would talk about what I was afraid of but also give ‘evidence’ why I didn’t think it was true, like I still enjoyed relations (TMI sorry) with him, and I was still attracted to male television stars, which I feel like wouldn’t occur if I was gay. I read somewhere that people that are bisexual while often be attracted to whatever opposite gender that they’re in a relationship with; that made sense to me and felt like “evidence” that I’m not completely gay.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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@spriggy I appreciate your help; it didn’t add to my fears. I do a lot of that compulsion mental checking too for reassurance and temporary relief. I wish there was a cure for ocd but there isn’t so this is the hand I was dealt with. It’s so so hard to just tell myself, “that’s an ocd thought don’t pay attention to it.” It’s like we need a second brain to scrutinize our ocd brain.
AnonymousAnonymous
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@footballsoccer2019 I feel your frustration. Sometimes I feel like I miss out on so much, and have trouble paying attention to my actual life because I’m always scrutinizing.
Dahantho715Dahantho715
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How long did you do ERP? I’m only in my second week and I already feel better and worse.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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2 years it doesn’t work for mental compulsions for me
JoseJose
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Continue to love her and don’t let your thoughts win. I know it’s hard because I’m am dealing with the same thing as well.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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Thanks. Do you confess your fears to her?
JoseJose
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No, we have only been together 8 months. I don’t think I would ever tell her because I know I would do it to seek reassurance from her. I recommend you try ERP with a different therapist. The first one I had sucked and the second one has really helped me. My brain tends to ruminate and I have to remind myself to slow down.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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It totally sucks holding these thoughts in to myself. I question whether I like kissing her when I’m kissing her. I have seen so many therapists - they don’t help.
JoseJose
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@footballsoccer2019 I’m sorry to hear that, remember to stay positive.
footballsoccer2019footballsocc...
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@Jose It’s good advice. It’s tough. I don’t want to be a fraud to my girlfriend and ruin her life. I have tried so hard in therapy and yet I am still stuck.
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