Anyone who is currently suffering from real even ocd or harm ocd I want you to know that someones trauma is not yours even if you bullied someone, punched someone, etc. What they do with their life after you has nothing to do with you. You have no control over what they do. And from someone who suffers from trauma I do not blame the person who did harm to me because us as humans create our own trauma we either allow our trauma to cripple us or we use our trauma to make us strong. So whenever you find yourself feeling terrible and wanting to end it over what your ocd is making you feel understand that it is a irational belief because you can not control how someone reacts. Just like you chose whether to react over what someone says to you. It is nobodies fault for the way you react or live your life it is up to you.

Why do you believe that? What fuels this

@Ella___ Because I grew up with an emotionally, verbally and physically abusive father and I am becoming him. I don't deserve to be around people if I am going to abuse them. I don't blame my father anymore and even love him but I can't forgive myself the same way. It almost feels like I will permanently become a monster if I do.

@🖤 Your fear is that you are affraid to become your father but yoo can change that stop fearing it the fesr is whats fueling it. You are subconsciously sabotaging yourself believe me you got this and you will overcome do not give up

@Ella___ I have made a commitment with myself to start working on dbt worksheets and skills everyday so I am not hopeless yet. Thank you for listening. I don't know if it is real event ocd because I feel depressed and Not anxious. But it causes distress.

@Ella___ I wont give up! For the people that I love. I can't give up.

@🖤 I know what youre going through believe me because i have real event ocd when i was a child i choked someone and my ocd likes to tell me what if they died or i caused trauma and they committed suicide or will commit suicide. But these are all just irrational beliefs. The bottom line here is you and I can control our feelings and actions however, we can not control the way people think or respond to things. To make it simple think of it this way if someone gives you attitude you can either ignore it or let it get to you but if you let it get to you its your own fault for having a shitty day. In other words, if someone where to commit suicide or hurt themselves it would be nobodies fault but their own because they allowed certain things to get to them instead of using those things to fuel them to be stronger. Take us for example if we let our ocd and irrational beliefs win its our own fault nobody elses and if we use our ocd and fears ato strengthen us then we have succeeded it’s basically our own responsibility to either sink or swim. So try your best to think rationally instead of irrationally. You got this we both got this!

@🖤 Try to be patient with yourself and not guilt yourself use your own trauma as examples to help you heal

@Ella___ I hope we can beat this terrible thing and grow in the process.

@🖤 We will dont give up okay if you need to talk and vent you can always comment here and ill always answer! We will both get through this sometimes our ocd latches onto a topic and Doesnt allow us to view things clearly. Do your best to stay calm drink linden tea with ashwaganda capsules and saint johns warts it helps for clarity and stress. When the mind is to anxious its very hard to think rationally