HELP I THINK I MIGHT HAVE KILLED SOMEONE . When I was 8, I either picked on a boy or bullied him , I’m not sure which one. I was watching a video about a girl who hung herself over being bullied . So that reminded me of this . I know I made fun of the kid for being fat , but I CANNOT remember the intensity , whether I genuinely meant to hurt him or just was a kid teasing and annoying someone. . There’s no point in trying to recall cuz I’ll just make false memories . I know for sure that the kid cried to his parents and then at a parent teacher convention they told my parents I was being mean . I can’t remember if I stopped after that . My mom laughs at the incident, and was like “omg you’re face that day was so funny “ . So that makes me think it was probably mild . Besides if I bullied someone to death , I’d remember how abusive I was right ? I had a reputation for teasing kids , but I know I teased him more than I usually teased people . I can’t remember what my intentions were . I don’t know what ERP to do , or if I’m a fucking murderer . To make matters worse I went on Reddit , where people were remorseful over being former bullies and talked about how guilty they felt . I completely forgot about the incident . Now I feel like a disgusting evil murderer

It’s okay—I have to keep reminding myself even though I am so guilty of wanting reassurance.

I highly doubt your a murderer, it was simple stuff that many kids do, kids are resilient at 8 years old, I highly doubt you had anything to do with it....most people with OCD are not naturally mean all the time from my understanding I highly doubt you did anything to drive someone over the edge.

Look, I know we’re not supposed to do reassurance so I’m going to try and avoid that. But if you honestly feel guilty about it and remember who it was, the other option is to find the person you bullied and apologize. More importantly, learn to forgive yourself. Kids can be mean, adults as well.

Sorry, I forgot we aren't supposed to do re-assurance.

Okay you are not alone on this I had the same incident except I choked a little girl I used to get baby sat with i never did it with bad intent I just used to copy whatever I saw on tv and believe me my ocd is telling me what if i killed her what if she committed suicide because of me. And the shitty part is I don’t even remember her name I can’t even look for her. I wana find her and say sorry and when i think of it logically if she killed herself then her mother would be looking for me or if i killed her id be in jail but Im not. You have to think of it logically and let’s say this person did commit suicide you have to remember that you are not in control of someones feelings or emotions. People hurt us right? After that we chose whether or not we will let trauma get the best of us. In other words if the people we bullied committed suicide then it wouldn’t even be our fault to begin with because they allowed themselves to let their trauma get the best of them instead of overcoming the trauma. Do you understand what I am saying? Just like if someone hurt you it would be your fault for committing suicide not anyone elses because you allowed your trauma and emotions to get the best of you.