- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Idk if it's normal but i am having this too. It feels like i want that or like i get urges and feels like i want that so you are not alone
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It's hard tbh...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
yes i have this too. it all started when i would obsess over the questions “would i be happy if i were bi?” and “would dating this person make me happy?” and so i obsessed over if i would feel that way until eventually i did start to feel happy
- Date posted
- 4y ago
So you think you are bi now?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Lleonesss what do u mean?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 You wrote that you did eventually feel happy...I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Lleonesss no u didn’t upset me i’m just confused by what ur trying to say so i don’t know how to answer u
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 You wrote that you obsessed over the thought until you eventually felt happy about it ..so that's what I was asking...since they make you happy do you think you're bi now?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Lleonesss i don’t really know tbh. i don’t really feel like any sexuality rn; my brain feels like mashed potatoes all the time hehehe;(. but i do often obsess over things enough that i convince myself i’m bi & it feels really real and true deep down. but then later i won’t feel it anymore. and then the cycle repeats. so i don’t really know what i think if that makes sense. what about u?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 I agree to the "mashed potato" part lol...my head's all messed up...I'm just so so confused...I have zero clarity and I can't just get my head straight...this goes on for days
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Lleonesss i relate lol. do u feel like u know who u are or does ur perception of urself constantly change ? for me it keeps changing but then my anxiety gets worse
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 I don't for one second feel like I know myself anymore... I've lost my identity..idk what I want anymore and that drives me nuts
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Lleonesss yes! i just want to go back to before when i was washing my hands all the time 😭 it was so hard but this so-ocd is the hardest for me
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 This is my first theme so I've never known anything easier than this 😔but yes I do wish to go back to being the person I was before this shit just took over my life
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@lmaocd🍓🥰 Wait I really relate to this. I feel so confused all the time. My perception is constantly changing. Mashed potatoes is exactly how I feel. For the longest time I was like of COURSE this is ocd I’m so sure that I’m straight and now I’m like ???? I’ve been suffering for so long idek anymore shoot
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sorry hope its ok to butt in on this, but as a life long ocd sufferer, I can give you my take on this . I had this theme years ago. Trying to establish your sexual identity with certainty, like most things in life, is a waste of time. Why feel the need to label yourself ? Just do what feels good for you. Sexual orientation is like a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. All people fall somewhere along that line but trying to establish exactly where you are on that scale is a waste of time. Everyone can tell an attractive male or female, which suggests a level of attraction in itself, does this mean that all people are potentially gay ? Who knows, there is no certainty for anyone. Most people just assume their orientation, based on what makes them happy. For ocd sufferers, they feel a need to be absolutely certain, which is pretty much impossible with most things in life. You cannot get better until you stop looking for certainty, trust me on this, I suffered badly for decades, before I learned this.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
have u recovered from the sexuality theme?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you and if you don't mind me asking how did you recover from this?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah I did years ago, although it had gone on for about 3 years, till I realised I'd never know for certain and knowing that, when I gave up trying to be certain, the anxiety wanes and you stop caring about it. As I say, no one really knows for certain, people just assume their sexuality and follow what ever makes them happy. But you HAVE to stop trying to prove it to yourself, to get better.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I've had many other ocd themes since, but they almost always, revolve around this search for certainty and the more I worry, the worse they get, until I remember, to stop trying to figure it out and live with being uncertain. Then the anxiety, gradually lowers and it stops being important to me. Dont try to escape the fear of not knowing, sit with the fear for a few minutes, say 3 times a day , let it scare you, till the anxiety starts to drop, dont try to reassure yourself, by saying its not true, or anything similar. A good therapist will help you with ERP as it can be hard to deal with it on your own. Read up on dealing with Pure ocd or watch podcasts on it. You will recover, as long as you dont give up🙂
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The more i think about the more real it gets
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Absolutely!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I know...
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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