- Username
- Lleonesss
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Idk if it's normal but i am having this too. It feels like i want that or like i get urges and feels like i want that so you are not alone
It's hard tbh...
yes i have this too. it all started when i would obsess over the questions “would i be happy if i were bi?” and “would dating this person make me happy?” and so i obsessed over if i would feel that way until eventually i did start to feel happy
So you think you are bi now?
@Lleonesss what do u mean?
@lmaocd🍓🥰 You wrote that you did eventually feel happy...I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you
@Lleonesss no u didn’t upset me i’m just confused by what ur trying to say so i don’t know how to answer u
@lmaocd🍓🥰 You wrote that you obsessed over the thought until you eventually felt happy about it ..so that's what I was asking...since they make you happy do you think you're bi now?
@Lleonesss i don’t really know tbh. i don’t really feel like any sexuality rn; my brain feels like mashed potatoes all the time hehehe;(. but i do often obsess over things enough that i convince myself i’m bi & it feels really real and true deep down. but then later i won’t feel it anymore. and then the cycle repeats. so i don’t really know what i think if that makes sense. what about u?
@lmaocd🍓🥰 I agree to the "mashed potato" part lol...my head's all messed up...I'm just so so confused...I have zero clarity and I can't just get my head straight...this goes on for days
@Lleonesss i relate lol. do u feel like u know who u are or does ur perception of urself constantly change ? for me it keeps changing but then my anxiety gets worse
@lmaocd🍓🥰 I don't for one second feel like I know myself anymore... I've lost my identity..idk what I want anymore and that drives me nuts
@Lleonesss yes! i just want to go back to before when i was washing my hands all the time 😭 it was so hard but this so-ocd is the hardest for me
@lmaocd🍓🥰 This is my first theme so I've never known anything easier than this 😔but yes I do wish to go back to being the person I was before this shit just took over my life
@lmaocd🍓🥰 Wait I really relate to this. I feel so confused all the time. My perception is constantly changing. Mashed potatoes is exactly how I feel. For the longest time I was like of COURSE this is ocd I’m so sure that I’m straight and now I’m like ???? I’ve been suffering for so long idek anymore shoot
Sorry hope its ok to butt in on this, but as a life long ocd sufferer, I can give you my take on this . I had this theme years ago. Trying to establish your sexual identity with certainty, like most things in life, is a waste of time. Why feel the need to label yourself ? Just do what feels good for you. Sexual orientation is like a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. All people fall somewhere along that line but trying to establish exactly where you are on that scale is a waste of time. Everyone can tell an attractive male or female, which suggests a level of attraction in itself, does this mean that all people are potentially gay ? Who knows, there is no certainty for anyone. Most people just assume their orientation, based on what makes them happy. For ocd sufferers, they feel a need to be absolutely certain, which is pretty much impossible with most things in life. You cannot get better until you stop looking for certainty, trust me on this, I suffered badly for decades, before I learned this.
have u recovered from the sexuality theme?
Thank you and if you don't mind me asking how did you recover from this?
Yeah I did years ago, although it had gone on for about 3 years, till I realised I'd never know for certain and knowing that, when I gave up trying to be certain, the anxiety wanes and you stop caring about it. As I say, no one really knows for certain, people just assume their sexuality and follow what ever makes them happy. But you HAVE to stop trying to prove it to yourself, to get better.
I've had many other ocd themes since, but they almost always, revolve around this search for certainty and the more I worry, the worse they get, until I remember, to stop trying to figure it out and live with being uncertain. Then the anxiety, gradually lowers and it stops being important to me. Dont try to escape the fear of not knowing, sit with the fear for a few minutes, say 3 times a day , let it scare you, till the anxiety starts to drop, dont try to reassure yourself, by saying its not true, or anything similar. A good therapist will help you with ERP as it can be hard to deal with it on your own. Read up on dealing with Pure ocd or watch podcasts on it. You will recover, as long as you dont give up🙂
The more i think about the more real it gets
Absolutely!
I know...
Okkk! So basically, part of me has accepted that I might be bi, and I’m ok with that because it’s not the worse thing ever. A few of my friends are bi, and being bi ultimately means I can love a wider range of people, which is great. So I don’t mind if I am. However I really really don’t wanna be a lesbian, and today I’ve had thoughts about being one. I’ve suddenly loss all attraction to guys which sucks. I feel like this is HOCD, but how do I know for sure if I don’t mind being bi?
So basicaly Two days ago I found a video on YouTube about astrology, and the woman speaking said smth like: you should look inside yourself because you have a tendency to ignore your own identity and your own true feelings. Instantly I thought of this endeavouring rumination about me being bisexual. Cause now I’ve kinda come to terms with the fact that in no way am I gay. So okay, the thing is, recently I’ve started to think that girls especially have an inclination towards bisexuality, mainly because they are affectionate with other girls. Bear in mind the fact that, since this hocd started, the lines between normal dating actions and behaviours between people are blurred to me. Now I realize that I am ruminating more and more this possibility of me being bisexual, but there are counter arguments like : I would never ever date a woman, I would never ever have sex with a woman and to me they are beautiful yes, they are sexy etc but I don’t want to do anything with them. Then, my consequent thought is maybe I have internalized homophobia idk. This is all soooo distressful and irritating and confusing. Deep down I know that I am a straight girl, but I feel guilty every time someone asks about my boyfriend because of these intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am lying to them, telling them that I am straight, when in fact I am not. Have you ever had such experiences?
" I've seen and read that bisexual people find out they are like that later in life (Compared to homosexual people) and that it isn't a phase, that they deny it their whole life and suffer because of it, and that some people with HOCD were truly bisexual and deny homosexual yearnings but they live in a lie their whole life because of treatment." This has been a scare I've had because I've always had that fear of "what if I'm one of those people" , Then my brain is like "you know it'd be fun, you know your open to sex with a woman " . Then combine that with lesser anxiety and it feels real.
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