I'm in a weird position rn...I don't really fear discovering that I'll be a bisexual because that makes me think that I can be with men then and that if I turn out to be bisexual I still wouldn't date women...it's the fear of being a lesbian that's predominant in my hocd but lately my mind tells me that since I don't fear being bisexual that much I might be one and since a few weeks whenever I come across the word bisexual it feels like I'm happy or something but I don't want to be ...I just want to be straight...does this happen? I don't know if what I said makes sense.

Idk if it's normal but i am having this too. It feels like i want that or like i get urges and feels like i want that so you are not alone

yes i have this too. it all started when i would obsess over the questions “would i be happy if i were bi?” and “would dating this person make me happy?” and so i obsessed over if i would feel that way until eventually i did start to feel happy

Sorry hope its ok to butt in on this, but as a life long ocd sufferer, I can give you my take on this . I had this theme years ago. Trying to establish your sexual identity with certainty, like most things in life, is a waste of time. Why feel the need to label yourself ? Just do what feels good for you. Sexual orientation is like a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. All people fall somewhere along that line but trying to establish exactly where you are on that scale is a waste of time. Everyone can tell an attractive male or female, which suggests a level of attraction in itself, does this mean that all people are potentially gay ? Who knows, there is no certainty for anyone. Most people just assume their orientation, based on what makes them happy. For ocd sufferers, they feel a need to be absolutely certain, which is pretty much impossible with most things in life. You cannot get better until you stop looking for certainty, trust me on this, I suffered badly for decades, before I learned this.

Yeah I did years ago, although it had gone on for about 3 years, till I realised I'd never know for certain and knowing that, when I gave up trying to be certain, the anxiety wanes and you stop caring about it. As I say, no one really knows for certain, people just assume their sexuality and follow what ever makes them happy. But you HAVE to stop trying to prove it to yourself, to get better.

I've had many other ocd themes since, but they almost always, revolve around this search for certainty and the more I worry, the worse they get, until I remember, to stop trying to figure it out and live with being uncertain. Then the anxiety, gradually lowers and it stops being important to me. Dont try to escape the fear of not knowing, sit with the fear for a few minutes, say 3 times a day , let it scare you, till the anxiety starts to drop, dont try to reassure yourself, by saying its not true, or anything similar. A good therapist will help you with ERP as it can be hard to deal with it on your own. Read up on dealing with Pure ocd or watch podcasts on it. You will recover, as long as you dont give up🙂

The more i think about the more real it gets

I know...