So like is it not possible to %100 recover? Cuz like i started to have HOCD thoughts like April 2020.And i was suffering for so long but i didn't know what OCD was until August 2020.And by the time i learned it i was in too deep. With the help of people in youtube and articles i made myself a little better. But i still have Intrusive thoughts everyday with high anxiety. Ot have different obsessions. Generally just questioning everything i do and think and my morals. And don't get me started with the things I've done in the past. A kind person in a OCD video comment section recommended this. But i am not really comfortable with video calls idk if this has something to do with my social anxiety. I've seen 2 doctors and they weren't helpful i just don't know what to do. I also live in Turkey and we have this huge exam and i don't have that much time left to get ready. I realized late that how important was this. And i know if i don't go to collage my OCD will just get worse. I also had a crush but i was having ROCD thoughts as if we were in relationship but we were just in talking stage. I had to give up on that. I had too much going on and that felt like an responsibility but it was fun to have daydreams that can help run away from this stress. But now i am just left with my family issues,past mistakes, responsibilities and my brain who doesn't know how or when to shut up. And i can't take it. I keep trying to get find the reason of these fears but nothing. I get no where then i get so overwhelmed and can't do simple tasks. Whoops just realized i can't ask what do do or help here. So umm yeah. Thanks for reading i am just overwhelmed.

Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you are under a lot of pressure. It is typical for OCD to stir up when we are stressed. Don't put additional pressure on yourself by obsessing about it. I know how you feel I experiences a rough setback last autumn during my masters thesis and looking for a new job. I thought that it meant that I will never be over this and I felt so helpless. I also went to two therapists who couldn't offer me a spot, which made me feel even more isolated. But the good news is I did get better! I tried to practice as much self-directed ERP as I could. I used the tool on this app, read some books about it and listened to podcasts. Additionally I practiced mindfulness and medication. It was really tough at first because I read and listened to a lot of stories that really really scared me. But it got easier and I soon felt that it helped me getting better. Now I am better than I have ever been in the last two years! Proper therapy would probably helped me much quicker but you can get very far by yourself if you put in a lot of work and discipline. I wouldn't consider myself 100% recovered as I still get triggered, especially during PMS, but since I stopped pressuring myself to fully make the thoughts go away forever, it has become much easier to sit with them. I am still a bit annoyed because I feel stupid and embarrassed being uncomfortable about the questions of sexual orientation but at the same time I just don't care as much about it anymore. I've accepted that I probably will never be 100% or 100% free of doubt but that is ok. I hope this helps a little, if you can't get therapy try the mindfulness workbook for ocd and check out Ali Greymonds videos about ocd if you haven't already done that, it has helped me a lot through troubling times! Hang in there, this too shall pass, I promise!

Thank you so much. Yes I've checked Ali's videos. I follow her. Can you recommend me the books you read and the podcasts also how you do mindfullness

Thank you so much