wooo love being terrified that a yt video i saw counted as something super bad and illegal and that im an offending pedophile now

Let's remember... you didn't know. You didn't know that was going to play.

@avaflamingo i dont think i knew it was gonna play when i clicked on it but like. what if there was a warning in the video. why did i stay and watch the whole thing. i feel like a monster bc i knew the subject matter of the video and why would i wanna click on it anyway?? im guessing legally it doesn't count because the videos still up after like a while and its not from a very obscure youtuber at all but i just feel so disgusting. theres no way im not bad in this scenario ugh

@piiper There's no reason to pass judgement on yourself right now and in this state of mind. Don't jump to any conclusions; that's an OCD trap.

@avaflamingo alright. youre right. thank you

@piiper No problem.

agree. its fucking disgusting. i wish i never clicked on it too. no child deserves that ever, and i feel horrible for possibly contributing to their exploitation

@piiper It's not even fucking fair because I didn't even search for shit like that. Unwarranted content like that shouldn't be on YOUTUBE. You know how many kids put themselves on youtube wanting to express themselves and have to disable comments because there's too many fucking monsters after them? It's fucking disgusting and it makes me mad. I also got told cartoon cp isn't even legal unless it is based on a real life child. How about just make it lillegal so no pedos get any fucking gateways on that kind of shit. I hate that that fucking playlist came up. It happened months ago yet it still bothers me. I don't want any of that shit near me. All I wanted to search for was women my age no matter how much OCD wants to doubt that bullshit. It's fucking nasty. If I wasn't bothered by content like that I wouldn't be worrying to this day and I would've watched it again without even caring. That shit is fucking wrong. I know deep down that it is, no matter how many times OCD says it isn't. They need to moderate their fucking sites better. It's sick.

@BigGip09 its so fucking sick. i hate people who hurt kids with a fucking passion. and i hate people who try to reason that cartoon shit isnt bad either, its fucked. i feel really horrible abt it even though it was months ago for me too. its less of me fearing being a pedo and more of just... the fact that i watched it i guess. i know i was disgusted when i saw the video, but i just feel so guilty and horrible for seeing it in the first place.

@piiper That's literally where I'm at I'm just guilty at the fact that I found that shit without ever even trying to find it. It's absolutely sick. It hasn't happened ever since then but fucking still it's not fucking cool. People literally asking for sources of the cartoon shit even if it's a joke makes me fucking sick. And people just post it openly on instagram, like fucking what? I don't get this shit. The people making that shouldn't even be near a fucking pen and pencil or a computer for that matter. That shit literally enables pedos so they don't have to go into the real thing. It's still fucking disturbing. I'm the same with the playlists. I didn't watch the video but I saw comments saying the age casually. It's fucking nasty. I'm just disgusted my eyes even caught onto that sick shit. I was just trying to get off to girls my age and girls way older then I see that shit. What the fuck gave off the vibe that I needed to see that. It's fucking disgusting.

@piiper How old are you?

@BigGip09 YEAH. i feel like im like... forever dirtied, or something. i feel like i can't ever say that ive never watched something fucked up like that, and my friends would hate me if they ever find out i watched something even if it was censored and i was disgusted. i know it popped up in my reccomended because it was from a youtuber i liked (hes like a nexpo-type channel, didnt usually post stuff that bad) but now im even more worried because i didnt really realize how genuinely kinda fucked it was for him to post it until today. not to mention im now worried that he might have ACTUALLY CENSORED IT HIMSELF which is really horrible if so. and im scared i just supported a horrible person all this time. this all fuckin sucks and i wish this shit wasnt on the internet. i dont wanna be someone who watches shit that exploits kids. people who try to play off the exploitation of children as a joke are fucking detestable

@BigGip09 i'm 16.

@piiper Why would he upload shit like that? I don't understand the context of that shit even if it's a joke. If it was that fucked up it means he must've downloaded it, censored it completely and put it on his channel. And for fucking what? What was the purpose of him doing that shit? For a joke or something? I don't get it. Hopefully you don't see shit like that again at all like I haven't. I'm 19 by the way. It's fucking horrible for someone who's underaged such as yourself to see that. Not that anyone needs to see fucked up shit like that either. What did the comments say about the video? We're there any? That all makes my fucking stomach hurt, it really does. And the people that try to make a joke of shit like that are worse than he is in my opinion. That shit is not at all a joke. Not at all. How it even got on YouTube in the first place is beyond me. That's what I wonder at the beginning of all of this really. How is this shit on YouTube freely? I hate it.

@piiper I'm pretty sure everyone who's used the internet has seen fucked up shit they didn't want to see. Guaranteed. That's like a risk you get for using the internet. My family has seen shitty things on YouTube, people in my school have seen it, viral videos of fucked up shit have also been shown to many people. That's just a risk the internet comes along with. But for this youtuber to upload something like that is completely fucking different. Like, he didn't HAVE to go out of his way to upload something so fucked up but having to censor it as the only way to get past it. Like, what the fuck is the point of all that? Is it worth it in the end? At what cost, my dude? That shit is just wrong. I hate that content like this is not only getting passed on YouTube but it's easily accessible when you don't even want it to be. I stopped using porn sites for a reason, because I thought it would be free of seeing risky shit like THIS. But I guess I was wrong. I mean I understand no site is perfect but for fucks sake. This shit is just getting out of hand.

@BigGip09 it was a video talking about how it resurfaced and how fucking abysmal it was that it did (thank god) everyone in the comments was in agreement that anyone who took part in it's creation should suffer. i wanna have faith that he 1. didn't have any weird ulterior motives/bad intentions while creating it and 2. he came across it pre-censored and didnt... yknow, DOWNLOAD THAT SHIT HIMSELF but also he included some accounts from people on shit like 4chan who had seen the video and thats.... not great even if every account was fucking disgusted. i kinda wish i wasnt gen z because hoooly shit did being the first generation raised primarily with internet access fuck us up. i dont blame my parents but i wish every day that my internet was monitored when i was younger. i would have been saved so much pain its unreal.

@piiper Yeah sites like 4chan and Twitter I just DO NOT visit at all because they are filled with such fucked up shit online. There's just some places you should not be online and those two are good examples of that. Whatever the fuck it was, I'm glad I didn't see it, I feel terrible that everyone else saw it and was left disgusted, and if anyone was harmed in the making of it whatsoever, I hope they can recover in anyway possible. Curse all the people who got off on creating such garbage. It's not fucking okay. It's not okay to get off on someone's unconsentual pain. That's literally sick. It's inhumane. It's harm. Danger. That shit just isn't cool AT ALL. Anyway, I think that's all we can really say about it. Try to do something that distracts you from it. Something that makes you feel good instead of bad. Take care of yourself. Don't watch content that upsets you and definitely don't watch content that involves someone being harmed without their consent at all. There's some movies and shows I can't watch just because of how OCD latches onto things. I'm just trying to do what makes me happy even if it tells me I don't deserve it. But I definitely don't want degenerate shit like that in my hands. Listen, I wish you the best. You're still young, you still have a long way to go with growing up. Even I do. It's a long road ahead but you can get through it. You know what helps me whenever I see real fucked up shit online? Animals. Go ahead and just look up nature and how beautiful it can be. Animals, places, different types of landscapes, etc. Something that'll make you smile without even thinking of smiling. I really wish you the best

@BigGip09 thank you for talking abt this with me, seriously. i'm really sorry if i went too into depth with anything (for anyone who ends up reading this thread, too), i just really needed to get some shit off my chest without accidentally pointing ppl towards some horrible shit. please also take care of yourself too!! you also deserve great things. you have a great future ahead of you 😊

@piiper No problem man. I just never thought I would run into people that worry about the same type of stuff. That's what up, man, take it easy. People that actively watch that type of shit and aren't bothered by it knowing it's wrong are the real bad people. And the people supplying shit like that. It's menacing. Good luck with school and all that. :)