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- 4y
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I have those same kinds of fears. Accepting the possibility is distressing and even can be disorienting. Even if you think the thought, "yes, that's it, I was absolutely gay before OCD," and feel a sense of relief/clarity after thinking the thought (or on the flipside, guilt about the possibility that you're in denial about it), this doesn't give the thought any real right-of-way in determining who you are. If you think about the Kinsey scale or something like Freud's claim that all humans are inherently bisexual, it is clear that many researchers have found a significantly greater amount of same-sex attractions and "closeted" same-sex experiences among "straight" persons. Other researchers have supposedly found that men tend to be either one way or the other, and that bisexuality really only pertains to women, and while I do not know enough about the rigor of methodologies used to make these assessments, I have to say I am skeptical in terms of how levels of "arousal" might have been assessed in such studies and if they are really valid, because many other psychologists have very different findings. Anyway, point being, there are many heterosexual men who according to Kinsey's findings are more on a spectrum than the term "heterosexual" would ideally indicate. That said, this does not mean their identity of heterosexuality is invalid. Such claims are akin to saying that bisexual people are really just closeted gay people. Unfortunately, even many psychologists hold these same biases today, and many are completely oblivious to the real effects or existence of Pure OCD, and ought to have more humility as to where their expertise isn't. I recommend "The Linguistic And Literary Construction of OCD" if you are interested in these comments at all, but in any case, you are not defined by your intrusive thoughts. Personally I was like 100% sure I was gay this morning, but since I have accepted it, I feel less burdened by the THOUGHT of being gay. I'm not writing it out of the realm of possibility, which may be an important step, but paradoxically, I feel much less of a compulsion to make a Grindr or tell my girlfriend I'm gay (this may just be seeking reassurance), or make a "coming out" post about it when this is MY body and MY brain and no one else has the Rosetta Stone to decipher it, even if they think they are able to decipher brain scans without imposing their preconceptions onto their interpretations.
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This triggered me more then helping tbh
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@Mrspeedy I apologize. How was it triggering if it is okay for me to ask? I understand it may be triggering, as I experienced triggers when learning about these ideas, but the principles of CBT and ERPT remain the same and are not negated by these findings (which are far from clear in any case), so I would suggest using the sense of feeling triggered as an opportunity to work on ERPT and CBT. I sincerely apologize if this came across as triggering and this was not my intention.
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@nonsensaii Because I don’t wanna be inherently bisexual or anything of the sorts
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My point for contrasting those two perspectives (one suggesting everyone is inherently bisexual to some degree and the other suggesting men are almost always either gay or straight while women are more often bisexual than men) was that there are many different perspectives within psychology regarding sexual orientation and no clear consensus. CBT and ERPT on the other hand are backed by consistent empirical evidence.
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