Why is there so much studf about pedophiles every where. Im tired of clicking off video or skipping things. Like understand why children are everywhere by why pedophiles. Can people shut up about it. Im watching a stream right now and there talking about dude with child porn in his discord and now i think I want to go to his discord. I keep having intrusive thoughts like “you gotta look that up” or “ come on, we need to go to his discord” or “i like grooming, let groom people.” Sometimes its like “pedophillia is okay, lets watch child porn.” Its so annoying. Why are they everywhere. Im tired of feeling sick and nauseous. Im tired it trying to tell me im a pedophile, its annoying. Its weird because two years ago, i hates children but everytime I think that its telling me that im faking my hage and want to touch them. I dont want to be near them, its sickening. Why is this happening now? i cant watch shows woth children in them because it says i like the shows because children are in them but I cant skip the show because apparently skipping the show makes ocd worse. Like why are there so much children everywhere? And why are people talking pedophiles so much? Im tired of it.

i've been very sad these days, i saw a child on TikTok and i had thoughts calling her hot, it seemed like i liked it and i was very anxious and very scared. i cried a lot, i kept replaying the video several times because it seemed like i was attracted to her and only when i was sure that I wasn't attracted to her i skip the video. but then i went to watch the videos of this kid again to see if i was really attracted or not again and i got nervous about being attracted to her "chest" and i kept looking to see if I was really attracted or not 😭 i wasn't, but one thought scared me a lot, which was "you were only attracted because it looked like an adult's chest." i was very nervous, i cried a lot because of this. I'm not attracted to children, I never have been, why does it seem like i am? i don't want to look at children anymore, im too nervous. i'm not attracted to her, all of this makes me sick and sad, it's all very uncomfortable and scary. but I've been questioning myself a lot about the last thought, i can't stop questioning myself. every time i see a child my brain asks if i'm attracted to them or if i think they're pretty. i can't stop crying (sorry for any mistakes I'm using a translator)

So I was never diagnosed with pocd but many ppl said that I have it and my therapist also said that I have ocd, I’ve recently been getting these thoughts and feelings of attraction towards kids, idk if it’s real attraction or not, but I worry that it’s true attraction because I don’t feel panic and anxiety towards those thoughts and feelings anymore, I used to feel that, but I also never felt shame or guilt for those thoughts and feelings. I also can’t tell if I want those thoughts and feelings or not. When I get those thoughts and feelings, I tell myself “I can’t be attracted to kids” and “being attracted to kids is bad” and “I wouldn’t like kids”. The main thing is I can tell if I am attracted to the kids or not, I feel like I want to know, but I also don’t know if I want to be attracted to kids or not, yet the attraction feeling feels so genuine, I can’t tell if it’s false or not, I try to compare my attraction towards a girl my age to the feelings I get when I see the kids. I’m also under the age of 16, and I’ve heard that people under the age of 16 are at risk of developing p#dophilia, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to become a pedo. But I can’t tell what I want anymore, I can’t tell if my feelings intrusive or not. Even though some people said that I have “textbook ocd” I still don’t believe it. These feelings and thoughts, I just don’t understand if I want and like them or not, idk if I WANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. Can someone give me advice pls? ANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. I also used to watch p#rn a lot, I was exposed to it at a young age cause I was a stupid ass kid once, I got addicted to it and watched it every day, when all of these feelings and thoughts started, I completely stopped watching p#rn which fixed that, but now I’m worried it was a sign of something bad because I heard that early porn exposure creates mental issues and stuff, so I don’t know if I have pocd or actual pedophilia anymore. I’m also currently tryin to get a relationship with a girl my age. Can someone give me advice on all of this pls? Idk what all of this means anymore :( (edited) I also keep getting thoughts of kids and I’m worried I’m attracted to a specific part of them, because most of the thoughts include that specific part of the kid. Im also attracted to that specific part on adults, but I’m worried that it’s a sign I’m a pedo because it manifests on the thoughts of kids

I was scrolling on insta and I saw a post of a kid, I felt a sense of attraction, idk if it was false or not. I hope it was, I got worried and the kid kept popping up in my head, I kept trying to stop it because I can’t stand not doing anything and feeling attracted, I don’t wanna be attracted to kids, im fucking tired of having to deal with all of this every day. I can’t tell if it is real or false attraction, all of this is so annoying, I can’t even listen to music properly without feelings of attraction showing up. I’m not able to tell if it’s false attraction or not anymore at all, it feels way to real to know, I keep hoping that it’s all false, and I hope that I have pocd not actual pedophilia because I was never disgnosed, I was also exposed to porn at a young age, and I’m worried it causes pedophilia. Please help me with these attraction feelings I can’t tell if they’re real or not anymore. I can’t even tell if I’m distressed, panicked, disgusted, or shamed. I don’t feel any of those feelings anymore, idk why, idk how to deal with this stuff anymore, I don’t even know if I have ocd or not, I’ve only ever gotten one short diagnoses that said I have ocd but I lied on 2 questions about feeling arousal which I do, idk why, and the other about liking the thoughts, which I said I didn’t, but in reality I don’t know if I do or not. Also only certain kids trigger the attraction feeling, it makes me worried I’m a pedo because it’s only certain kids that cause it, kind of like a “type” (edited)