Found out my therapist is resigning and I’m going to be reassigned someone new that they hire. I just don’t know what to do for my ocd smh.

I try. But a lot of times I mess up so I turn everything off and listen to music for awhile and then restart again smh. I was even able to watch this Q/A and was getting thoughts I liked but then my ocd was no you don’t and triggered a mess up smh. Luckily I had to pee so I walked out regrouped and started over basically. I just get anxious and doubts a lot and it sucks. I’m hearing my stupid ocd about getting a random erection a lot and have to hear it’s stupid voice messing with me and getting me more anxious fuckin asshole smfh.

@Issac11 It is a fucking asshole. I've messed up alot lately but I'm unable to regroup the way you do. My mind remembers everything and it hangs onto details. It will hang one subject that I was letting bother me (say groinals or being triggered by someone) but once that goes, it brings up the loss of attraction but then I will say, "in due time, it will return"... but then it switches up its game. My mind is stuck on "if I'm having loss of attraction now, how about with old women?" Now of course I'm being triggered by old women. And its adding up to the biggest spiral I've had in a few months. It's really bad. I'm start to see my NOCD therapist tomorrow. Hopefully she can help.

@Jbm421 I’m only able to cuz of all the response prevention I’ve done for the last 2 yrs and being on medication. My 3rd voice saids all the things I’ve done for response prevention by saying things like “do it then” “yup” “yeah definitely” “maybe🤷🏻‍♂️” my mind still trips up though. For instance if I look at a dude and look away the image of him would stay in my head and if I don’t go back and look at the dude again I’ll get anxiety of the image in my head and the only reason why I know this is cuz I’ve experimented and it gets me. It’s just tough.

@Issac11 Sorry to hear all that. I've done ERP like but I failed to keep up with it. I will be doing it for a few days but then suddenly I'm how I am now. That exact same thing happens to me if I see a dude but look away but then I HAVE to look again. That's a checking compulsion. But you have more experience than I do. God bless bro. I hope it all works out for you.

@Jbm421 I know it’s a checking compulsion but the anxiety that hits afterwards is like a bebe gun hitting your chest and that’s how the anxiety feels smh. I really hate anxiety.

@Issac11 Oh, I know that feeling bro. I've been hit with that all day today. My mind gets into a specific pattern, and I get hit with anxiety all day long. The worst is backdoor spikes. I had very little anxiety in the morning but a splitting headache from all the thinking, and my negative reaction to the thoughts as well as lack of sleep brought in the anxiety and when it finally hit, mother fucker... Its literally my own thinking that got me like this. I haven't been REALLY triggered by a dude in a few weeks. But my bored asshole of a brain says "what else can we obsess about?"

@Jbm421 I’ve gotten that shit too about “what else can I obsess about” smh even when I was off meds I’d wake up and be out of my head and feel good but felt the need to drink caffeine then got back in my head smfh live and learn I guess. Since I’m not working being on meds is the best thing to do cuz unless I’m exposing myself to my fear almost every day and getting actual reassurance being off meds is bad so that’s why I’m on it but knowing everything that pops up in my head and not knowing what to intentionally expose myself to do response prevention is what sucks about this shit. I just need a little guidance on what erp to do so that when I fall in this trap I can get out of it and feel fine.

@Issac11 Ah. The only exposures can possibly do currently are spike hunts (basically intentionally looking at dudes while saying things "maybe this guy" although it's not as effective with masks) and looking at pics while poking fun at them, also the gym is good exposure. I work but my job is not ideal for this disorder. I just try to use work, exercise, bike riding and my gaming hobby to keep me safe. It works sometimes but lately it's been terrible.

@Jbm421 I still do what I was taught sometimes to get out of hocd like trying to look at random dudes and try to say this guy is so and so but I’ll get a gross feeling to it and I’ll be like I’m good and then my other ocd with women pops up and my mind will start to say “dude, dick” smfh. So I still don’t know what to do about that.

@Issac11 Yeah me neither. The woman shit kills me. I want it all back. But of course that fucked little voice will counter anything I say. Like my mind just got me with that but also, i had a thought about an older chick who is not that attractive to me but my mind said " look at the alternative" and I'm like "what? There is no alternative!" Wtf bro....it doesnt make sense most of the time.

@Jbm421 Bro it’s all good cuz if you were fine and weren’t in your head you probably wouldn’t even care and probably would have a girl already to where you wouldn’t have so many sexual urges to all women cuz you’d have one women to handle that for you just saying haha. I mean honestly if I didn’t have this stupid shit I’d probably be in shape and pulling all these waitresses and bartender chicks like it was nothing till I found the right one or until the right one found me. All this stupid shit just comes with the territory of ocd unfortunately smh.

@Issac11 Agreed. I put a lot of worry into loss of attraction. So much so that even while I was doing well (I've been at this on and off for 10 years but this will come back worse everytime), I would get stressed about any which not doing it for me but i still had OCD and i still hadn't dealt with this crap properly so its cost me alot of skirts but when I'm able to quite the mind and soul, everything comes back. It just hasn't in a little while during all this stress and that worries me.

@Jbm421 Yeah see I don’t have loss attraction cuz I’ll do maybe she is cute and maybe she isn’t and my mind would be like I’d hit it and it calms down my sexual urge to a normal level to where I can see a chick and be like she’s kind of cute but the fact that I got some stupid shit that pops up it fucks with me getting them digits and getting out of my fuckin head with everything smfh.

@Issac11 That's another issue for me. Even when I dont have it, that same shit you said will pop in my head and make me doubt and ruin my shit. I never tried the "maybe she's cute, maybe she isnt" thing. Maybe I should try that.

@Jbm421 You can do it for anything you’re second guessing cuz ocd can confuse of anything and I use it when I’m not sure of something to see what my true feelings are for something to decide if it’s me or not.

@Issac11 Ah. I get you. OCD kicked my ass today. So I'm gonna just take the L for today. Just saw a chick who could be cute despite being skinny (I'm latino so I like meat on my bones) but of course, a mask and then my mind throws in a dude. Fml... I'm taking the L.

@Jbm421 Nah don’t take the L notice it and move on the thought gets clearer like that still anxious but better at least I just mess up a lot to where it keeps starting over which is what gets me stuck all the time smfh.

@Issac11 I mess up all the time. Even when I say the "yup, totally" or "maybe, maybe not" thing it will work for a little while but then it hits me harder. I was just in the elevator with a cute little white girl and I was thinking "why I gotta go through this? I look like shit because I'm unshave." But the n there my mind throws up a dude and ruins it. Right after that, I saw my mom for the first time in days and I broke down crying.

@Jbm421 Sorry about that bro. I’m not much of a mommas boy so I wouldn’t know how you feel. I’m my fathers child even though he was a piece of shit for forgetting about who I am and what I can become like “motherfucker” did you forget who I am and what kind of fuckin hard ass and no fucks given kind of son I am????? Fuckin idiot like how tf can you give up on me fuckin dumb ass and now I’m dealing with this punk ass hocd shit smfh.

@Issac11 Your a Warrior bro for dealing by yourself. I'm close with both my parents. But I hadn't seen my mom in a while on a day when I'm not doing too well. I'm getting triggered by a video game now. This shit gives me a splitting headache.

@Jbm421 Bro honestly I’ve always had a independent personality which is why having hocd is fuckin pissing me off cuz I’d be in a warm ass state doing my thing livin my life good and shit but no I have to deal with the one ocd that could kill my ambitions and goals smfh. Like my family has no goals or ambitions and I’m like I have that I just have hocd or I’d be going after my ambitions and shit and not letting anything get in my way cuz I just have that personality to get after my shit. I always did but of course I got to be the one with a fuckin mental disorder keeping me from being me again smfh.

@Issac11 Amen bro. I'm a doorman but I could accomplish more if I didn't have this but the fear keeps me where I am. My thinking had gotten so bad though. It's like my mind completely focuses on this and everything else falls away. Can barely watch shows or movies. I'm sorry I'm venting. 😢