Does anybody have trouble telling the different between children and adults in your imagination or sometimes through perception? Where like you try to imagine an adult that you are sexually attracted to and then your brain turns that adult into a child or makes you think that is child? Or like, your watching a video and for a quick second it makes the adult look like a child? Or it tells you its a child but its clearly not? Why is it doing that?

I dont like to imagine real people but I should start because my brain keeps trying to turn them into children.

@TechnoRecord Yeah maybe that could be a good change of pace maybe. But don't force yourself to masturbate or anything. I'm trying not to do anything sexual

@BigGip09 I only masturebate to get rid of arousal, otherwise I avoid that.

@TechnoRecord Yeah literally me. I mainly do it to get rid of the urge and the arousal

This hurts so fucking bad because I can feel it. I used to love fantasizing about female classmates in my class

Porn usually makes it worse and gives me nightmares. Im glad you found away. I cant fantize well because my imagination is poor which is probably why its so easy to switch them to children.

@TechnoRecord Yeah I'm really sorry to hear that. If I have to watch anything it's softcore porn whether it'd be on instagram or YouTube. But imagining things gives off a better climax I guess

@BigGip09 Im just going to avoid porn but if therapy helps, I might try to watch it.

@TechnoRecord I recommend you don't watch it at all. I've stopped and I don't miss it. I hate how I was exposed to it, I hate how addicted I was to it and I hate the things I did sexually because of how porn made me in my teen years. I'm just trying to stay away from anything sexual in general until I have a partner

@TechnoRecord Yeah doesn't make it worse for me. I just hate having to rely on the smut these porn studios put out vs being able to just use my imagination. Miss being able to.

@PRYM I think if you practice your mind and body by telling yourself that you don't need porn in your life and you can get your imagination back to normal, you'll be fine. You don't have to be fixated on that kind of content. It could make you feel worse in the long run too

@BigGip09 Maybe. Idk I just know I watch it a lot when I'm lonely and bored.

@PRYM Perhaps it's time for a substitute. Try going outside more. Fresh air can help you. Pick up an activity. Surround yourself with family and friends. Tell yourself that you don't need to masturbate to cope in any way. You don't need to keep this up for relief.

@BigGip09 I already quit it because I was addicted kind off and it would make my intrusive thoughts worse, so i tried to stop. I dont what else I can do for relief though. My imagination is terrible and im glad its terrible for various reasons ocd related but arousal that wont go away makes intrusive thoughts worse but masturebating to porn also makes it worse. I dont know what I can do.

@TechnoRecord I'm in the same boat. I stopped with hardcore because I know I was addicted and I wasn't happy. I literally cried after. Try to get out of your comfort zone and see what you can keep yourself occupied with.

@BigGip09 I used to watch hardcore stuff to but then I try to switch off which was kind of hard but the sick feeling helped me stop. Im going to just going to do what I used to do when I first started and just close my eyes and imagine nothing and see if I can do it that way.

@TechnoRecord Yeah, maybe that can help. You don't have to rush it either. It's not all about just finishing, it's about how good it can feel and how long it can last. But don't do it because you feel like you have to either

@BigGip09 Im just going to do it occasionally. But im going to try it out. Thanks man

@TechnoRecord You're welcome. I'm going to do it occasionally too. Maybe like once a week, but the guilt is so annoying. I just hate the feelings I get after doing it

@BigGip09 Yeah its hard for me because I also have heart issues and a chronic pain condition and literally live in the middle of nowhere. I'm pretty far from all my friends.

@PRYM Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's not too much trouble for you. I hope medical attention is able to help you with these things. There are hotlines you can call maybe for those things

@BigGip09 Guilt is annoying but i usually helps is joking about with other people. I got rid of porn guilt by doing that with my friends but be careful about the people you do it with.

@BigGip09 Yeah I'm trying to get it all under control but man can depression keep you from doing anything.

@TechnoRecord You've watched it with your friends? I never thought of doing that. I don't think I would really. Idk maybe if I had a friend of the opposite gender to masturbate with it wouldn't be so bad? That's a new one for me, but if it helps you all and not hurting anymore that's alright

@PRYM Yeah like it kept me from doing anything today but eventually I got up and did some things I wanted to

@BigGip09 Nooo!! Well actually I did that once. But what I meant is I joked about with friends, about guilt, and talked out with them. It makes you feel better.

@TechnoRecord Oooooh I see now. To be honest I think I'd like to masturbate with somebody else. A friend of mine that's the opposite gender. It'd be kinda nice to just do it with someone else for a change, I dunno. Thinking about it is nice, but I really don't want to give into any sexual things. There's plenty of memes I've seen about masturbating when it comes to guys and ladies and how ladies experiences no guilt whatever but man do it all the time or how our brains just tell us to do it and then we just.. do it. Ha.

@BigGip09 Yeah. If you can manage to do with another person then do that. That can help alleviate guilt. I think you should give in to some stuff sexually, aslong as it is t harmful. You cant let ocd when at everything. When you start feeling thoughts drown them out with something. Stuff like that helps.

@TechnoRecord I'm usually not comfortable with sexual things. Either that or I just get guilty of doing things that I used to do anyway. I feel like anything I could do sexually is harmful like being addicted or getting off to models. I've seen ads that talk about masturbating with others. I don't know how I'll be able to do that at a time like this lol

@BigGip09 I dont know but there is always away for that to happen. I used to feel intense guilt but I then said fuck it and enjoyed myself. I still dont fill guilt with porn unless it’s unethical, like hard core but ocd will try to make feel guilty. Im not goint to watch porn anymkre but I will immediately be doing some sort of task when I get a thought or memory for now on.

@TechnoRecord I guess I should give off the I don't care attitude when it comes to masturbating and enjoying myself. But I still don't want to go back to watching any hardcore content. Even if it does seem to be ethical I fear it's not. I feel much more comfortable with models doing their thing at their own pace really

@BigGip09 Yeah. Only watch things you deem as ethical and try your best to not give a fuck. That what helped me with guilt. Do things at a slow pace but even if you dont feel guilty anymore, keep up with soft porn because hard core porn or too much can give you erectile disfuction. Try to start with something that midly makes you feel guilty and push through it and try to control your emotions. That can help really well.

@TechnoRecord I'm really trying not to give a fuck but OCD is always there ready to judge my past and try and put it in the present. I'm okay with softcore porn and I genuinely don't want hardcore porn because I know what it will make me feel like after and I know how I'll feel after not only a relapse but for just watching that stuff again. Masturbating in general makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty even with the ethical things I watch. How will it just go away? As for my emotions, I'm usually just anxious in general. I'll feel other emotions here and one way or another.

@BigGip09 I would say no fap but that is apparently very unhealthy. With emotion and guilt, none of that will ever go away. You will feel it occasionally but thats why its good to joke about it because that normalizes it in your mind. I remeber when I wanted to learn japanese every one kept talking about how hard it was and that gave me motivation and prepped my mind into thinking it was easy. When I got to finally learning it, it was easy as fuck but as starting to learn it more i got harder and harder but if I kept practicing the more motivation I got, the easier it got. And when you learn japanese, you have to learn it for the rest of your life or forget and have to learn it again but its worth it and im still learning to speak japanese (and hopefully other languages too). Thats how guilt is, the more you let it get to you the harder it gets, so you have get motivation. Im not really sure how competitive you are but being naturally competitive can actually help you. Dont think about when it will go away that will make you loose motivation. And with anxiety, you just have to get through the shakiness and stomach aches. It’s annoying but its easy to get rid of in comfortable environments. Souround yourself with something that makes you comfortable like loud music, friends, big fluffy blankets, etc. I like to drown myself in thoughts.

@TechnoRecord I'm not to keen on joining big servers with people I don't really know. Sorry. I hope that doesn't offend you in anyway. I really don't mean to.

@TechnoRecord Oh I don't stick with no fap whatsoever. It doesn't seem all too helpful and realistic for me. How do I talk to other people about it in a joking way? It's usually more of a private thing for me. I'm just trying to avoid triggers for that kind of thing. And if I can't, I just sit through it until it goes away, like it did tonight. I've also been trying to use instagram less because there's a lot of sexual things that are not only there but I keep there. Maybe doing something like learning a new language could definitely help. I've wanted to learn portuguese for quite a bit but haven't got around to really doing it. I need to find something to really be dedicated on. I don't really know what it means to be naturally competitive. I guess I only get that when it comes to games? I don't really get anxiety all that much. I just ruminate endlessly about these thoughts and I find myself not being able to be okay with the events. I find myself not being able to accept the events even if they may not seem as bad as I'm making them out to be. I usually hate myself for those things happening but at the same time I try not to do them again. And I really don't want to even if there are urges, arousal, or other things that remind me of the event. Surrounding myself with good things can be easy though. As long as I'm not alone for the most part. And not in my bed.

@BigGip09 Oh no thats not all offensive. And me and another person in the plaza or friends plan on talking about our ocd experience tommorow. Its not to big. I hope you change your mind because it’s literally only two people in there but that’s understandable.

@BigGip09 Yeah I understand. I usually joke about through shock factor. Like vividly explaing my thoughts to gross my friends and then they do it back. You have to find people to joke about with and you have to test boundaries allittle to know what people are okay with. You should try to learn portuguese that would probably preoccupy your brain. And when I say being naturally competitive I mean pushing you limits to get better and they be your last top score or being better than someone else. About ruminating. I found myself in the exact same situation. My friends help but they are the type to talk to you occasionally and then not say anything for months or days. Im trying to find friends with similar experiences as mine