Dude I’m so done with this shit. I do every fuckin thing ive been taught yet I can’t get over my shit. Like do I even have ocd or do I have some other type of mental disorder? I do everything I’ve been taught. I’m not even sure whether or not the stupid thoughts I hear or that just automatically pops up when I see a girl is ocd or not I need a therapist to verify with me it is indeed ocd and help me with a plan.

I don’t really know what I love to do it’s all a guessing game at this point or maybe at this point. Uncertainty is full of crap cuz I could say I can certain type this message and that’s certainty cuz I’m doing it I need help to figure out what I actually love and how to live with doing things I love and not letting my ocd take me away from things I love anymore. I still need therapy to figure all this crap out like I’m so much in my head that it’s not even a joke. If a therapist asked me what I’ve watched or what’s on my mind it ain’t nothing else but my ocd.

@Issac11 maybe try doing what you used to love before all this crap. stress can make you loose interest in what you love and your hobbies. you’ve got this

@animal35353 All I did before was workout that was it that’s all I had. I can’t even workout the way I used to cuz of how broken my body is so working out doesn’t give me the joy it once did.

@animal35353 I can’t think about sex with a girl like normal and now it doesn’t even bring me joy cuz it doesn’t change a thing cuz of my stupid hocd and I can’t get a gf with this shit cuz of how bad it is. I have nothing in my life anymore it’s a complete waste of life I have now and it’s like why get up? Why do you want to wake up? I still have these questions and I need a therapist to help me answer these questions.

@Issac11 can you get a therapist?

@animal35353 Idk I set up a call with NOCD so they’re supposed to call me sometime soon but idk. I’m tired of talk therapy cuz that shit ain’t doing nothing for me I need action and shit. I already know 2 ocd specialist I’ve met with don’t want to work with me. I’m just really tired and need help with this shit cuz its driving me insane and just making me act impulsively cuz it sucks fuckin ass. I work hard. I know what it’s in my head and keep me from me being me I just need a plan to fix it already and to get to a point of reassurance so that I can move on with my life.

@Issac11 Why didn’t they want to work with you?

@Justmesadly One I cussed out. The other basically ghosted me. Probably cuz I got on here and said her psychosis theory isn’t really psychosis it’s really not. All I know is I don’t feel like doing anything anymore but me doing nothing doesn’t fix anything and me doing something doesn’t fix anything either. Idk maybe my ocd is so bad that even therapy isn’t going to really show me what I love anymore or what’s the point of it anymore and that’s why she didn’t think it would help seeing me. I’m on lamictal but still deal with depression idk this is just how I feel but she kind of made me feel as if I don’t have ocd and that I’m lying about my symptoms and my ocd to where it’s like I second guess myself idk if that was her plan to get me so low of a point that my mind would have to give up and just flat out get anxiety to where erp would be effective but it just hasn’t got an anxiety response anger yes and if that’s still anxiety then what else do you want to see with me like how are you going to tell me I’m fine and I’m like here knowing I’m not fine I can easily try to name 5 things in my room and see something other than what I want to say is popping up like idk I feel that one session I had with her made her feel as if that was the end of my anxiety and that I’m only being an asshole which is why I’m still having anxiety and I’m truly not but idk my wires are too crossed with her now anyways so it’s like frustrating and confusing and I’m her first ever patient to even cuss her out to but it’s within reason like it took months afterwards for someone else to think something else is going on or that my ocd isn’t as set and stone as she thought it was and that I’ve still been struggling and even to this day still struggling with ocd and I’m just like over it. I just hope she’s done with me and just moves on from helping me cuz this is still a battle I’m facing every day that’s keeping me from being alive.

@Issac11 Hmm it sounds like you have a very close minded out look on this and that’s probably why no one will help you. Cussing someone out is rude and isn’t going to make them want to help you nor is it going to fix your problems. These people have degrees and experience. If doctors are continuing to tell you that you don’t have ocd then you should probably listen to them and accept the help they have to offer. Lots of other mental illnesses look similar to ocd. It is normal to have anxiety. It seems like you’ve got a lot going on and maybe need to learn to control your own anger and emotions without blaming and hurting other people that are looking to help you. I’m sure if you were as disrespectful as you are saying and shutting people out then it’s hard for her to want to help you and she’s moved on to people willing to accept the help

@Issac11 Also a therapist cannot tell you what’s going on in your life or who you love they can only give you tools to help you figure those things out on your own and to be okay with the unknown

@Issac11 With therapist, it isn’t just one and done. You have to fine the good fit for you, and maybe she just wasn’t. I have been diagnosed with OCD and the psychiatrist who I seen to get medication from told me he doesn’t think I have it and I might just have a “personality disorder”. The that didn’t sit well with me, because I was ALREADY diagnosed. You have to be picky about who you go to, and make sure they specialize in OCD. You can’t have a “give up” type of attitude. IT SUCKS to have OCD, BUT it isn’t the end of your world. You have OCD, but you aren’t your OCD. I take medication for my anxiety and depression and I still sometimes feel anxiety and depression. Not every medication works and sometimes you have to switch up the medication or dosages. This isn’t where it ends, this is the beginning. Even with doing ERP effectively, it doesn’t get fixed immediately. Recovery takes time. BE COMPASSIONATE AND KIND TO YOURSELF, YOU DID NOT ASK FOR OCD.

@Justmesadly I wouldn’t say I’m close minded to my ocd. It’s cuz I’m open minded of what’s happened to me is why I’m here still and for someone to help me out with why my ocd is so bad. I know cussing someone out isn’t the right thing to do but it’s how angry I was at the time I did it. She told me herself that I needed a higher level of care she couldn’t provide but didn’t give me a clear answer as to why. Like nothing I’ve told her isnt the furthest from the truth. Like she wouldn’t even let me show her my ocd and what’s happening inside my head and wasn’t willing to cuz she didn’t want it to changer her mind of her first diagnosis of me just saying. That’s being close minded when a therapist stops treatment and doesn’t want to help me cuz she thinks I’m being close minded but I haven’t lied about anything that pops up in my head. Thinking of sex with a girl brings up other thoughts that isn’t sex with a girl she didn’t want to acknowledge that. She didn’t want to acknowledge that these other thoughts that pop up isn’t what’s keeping me from being out of my head. But yet I’m still seeing this shit and it’s keeping me from having a successful job and not just a job. Like I’m telling her what’s giving me the most anxiety and what words and images are popping up in my head and never acknowledged it and if I do have a psychotic disorder or in fact have CTE she’s the only one out of 8 therapist that I’ve seen that seems to think so. So I did just get Medicaid so that I can get a psych evaluation for like my 3rd time cuz no one else thinks I’m bi polar or borderline personality and if so she kept it to herself but I’m like how is that going to help me keeping a diagnosis of what you think of me going to help me? Like I can demonstrate but she wouldn’t hear it or let me. It doesn’t matter since I have a new ocd specialist and I’ll still get my 3rd evaluation for a psych evaluation but it’ll just come back to ocd and these thoughts that prevent me from thinking about a girl like normal and the doubting hocd thoughts if I can get to a point of rationalization with the 2 then I should be on track to getting on with my life instead of being angry and frustrated all the damn time even being on lamictal. I just need help.

@Justmesadly I have ocd and they’ve all said I have ocd they just can’t agree on what the theme is.

@Issac11 How did you get diagnosed with ocd without knowing what thoughts are causing you the anxiety?

@Issac11 And you just said in your previous message the doctors said they didn’t think you had ocd ? How old are you because your information isn’t very consistent

@Justmesadly On none of my posts states not being diagnosed with ocd but stating that none of the other doctors would suggest me being bi polar, borderline or having psychosis. Sorry I was typing all of this when I was angry and not caring about how it was written. I do have ocd just don’t really know what erp is most effective for it right now. My ocd is confusing and makes me really angry and depressed to where I’m mad at every one and anyone when it’s just my ocd I should be mad at for making me be this kind of person I really don’t want to be smh.