POCD 18+ NSFW WARNING TRIGGER WARNING I need help and advice right now because I feel sick and disgusted. A long time ago there was a pornhub user named Ellesclub. She was verified on there and claimed she was 18 (or so at the time) I viewed her content and I didn’t know anything about who she was, except for the fact that she was extremely popular. Her viewer count was in the millions. Nearly 2 years back her account got banned and she never posted the reason why. I was curious on why her videos got banned and stuff so I viewed it a couple more times, then I forgot about her. I was 16-18 at the time. Turns out, she had lied to everyone about her age, and started making porn at the age of 16. She was born on June 12th of 2000, and I was born on July 1st 2001. And some of the videos she uploaded were at the ages of 16-17. I recently found out about this 6-7 months ago. I’m 19 now. I have never ever felt more afraid and disgusted in all my life. And worst yet. I’m so triggered and scared. I’m shaking and tearing up as I write this because of all the events that lead up to this and my current predicament. I don’t want to be a M.A.P or a pedo. I don’t want to go to jail. I don’t want to be a monster, and I’m so fucking scared. I don’t want to be a pedo or a M.A.P, and I’m so scared of what you guys might say. I’m so scared that I might go to jail.

I’m having a hard time. I used to have crushes on anime girls that were 17 and stuff when I was 17-18 myself. Now that I’m 19, I’m trying to love women my age and move on, but I keep getting thoughts about them. I also have a hard time being able to tell a characters age in a show. They look like their 18- 20, next thing you know they’re actually 17. Ihml. I don’t want to be a M.A.P

I’m so scared. I don’t want to be a pedo or a M.A.P. I only want to love women my age. You have given me wings rn. Thank you 😭😭😭 I don’t want to be a pedo or a M.A.P. I wish I could hug you rn

@POCDbreakdown it’s okay it’s really okay, you haven’t done anything wrong. once again: how were you supposed to know when she lied? you aren’t supposed to be a mind reader. you’re ok :) i would give you a hug

@jlxlz She made it onto the sites verification system. She had millions of views and I just thought she was of age.... I truly didn’t know 😭😭😭😭 and I’m so so so sorry if I triggered you or hurt you....

@POCDbreakdown and how were you supposed to know? you don’t need to apologize to me i’m totally okay. it’s your ocd talking right now you need to breathe, ok?

But she was a year older than me. I don’t want to be a M.A.P. I DONT WANT TO BE A M.A.P!!!!! 😭😭😭😭

exactly, like i’m 17 and i personally wouldn’t be offended by that ESPECIALLY if i lied about my age

@POCDbreakdown If she was older than you, why would that make you a MAP?

if anyone were to judge you for that, they would be in the wrong. when someone lies to you, especially online, you aren’t gonna be able to just detect that people are lying to you. she was the one who needed to be in trouble not you :) you can always reach out to me on this thread if you ever need someone to talk to

@jlxlz Thank you. I can’t express this clearly and enough. I don’t know how to repay you cause it will never be enough. Right now I wish I could thank you with all of my heart and soul. Thank you. So much.

@POCDbreakdown i’ve gotchu :)