This is gonna sound super weird but here goes. After having general cheating ocd and ROCD for months and gone through many different obsessions relating to those, my brain has become creative and given me some obsession as specific as NOT thinking about male genitalia. I know that’s absolutely ridiculous but if I single thought of one pops up my brain either from seeing/hearing something or just anxious thinking, my brain goes “what if you aren’t satisfied with your partner’s” “what if past people you’ve been with had better ones” “what if other people have better ones” and the whole thing makes me absolutely sick!!!! I’ve never had thoughts like this before like a week ago and I’ve always been happy with my boyfriend. My main compulsion seems to be confessing information to my boyfriend. I do this like an addiction almost. So here I am telling him hurtful things that I don’t want to think or feel. He got mad the first couple times with this theme, even though he’s used to me confessing stuff in general, but now he’s realizing that I have a big problem with this one too. Thanks to anyone who actually reads all this and doesn’t judge me too much because I know it’s weird and disgusting and I’m a horrible girlfriend for it but I just want these thoughts to stop happening and just live in the moment with my boyfriend. Don’t know what else to do because I’ve already confessed it to him a million times and I want to stop so bad!

You’re not weird, or disgusting or horrible!! The fact you don’t want to be thinking these thoughts proves it, but the harder you try to stop, the more your brain will think about it. It is a mental illness, and however hard it is to talk about, you should go see about it and get some help, you’ll be glad you did! (I need to listen to my own advice and do this too) xx

I had no idea till now that my need to tell people my thoughts almost obsessively could in fact be a compulsion so you’re not alone my guy

the same exact stuff happened to me this past year with my boyfriend! it’s textbook ocd! you’re not a bad gf, you’re not a horrible person. you’ll get through it, it’s just thoughts. I also would confess a bunch and I hated it. just try to keep the thoughs to yourself, I know it’s so hard. you can do it!

he’s patient and understanding but the things I say hurt his feelings.. it makes me feel so guilty and like a bad person but I’ve gotten way better at not confessing to him in the past few months so that’s good

^^ same here. He’s usually understanding but sometimes the things I say get so bad he’s understandably hurt.

What are you needing to confess to him that’s hurtful?

Like random thoughts that say “you’re not happy with your sex with him” or like “I had a thought that it was better with the one other person I’ve ever done it with” like these thoughts freak me out immediately when I get them and it’s like all I can do to calm down is admit I had it, even tho it’s gonna be hurtful.

Is he patient and understanding? Or does it really affect him?