I keep finding that everything is making me horny. Anything that reminds me of sex. For 1 I’m on my period so I get it. But I’m usually only horny thinking of my partner or if there is a sex scene not like if I see someone attractive online and I feel so guilty about it because I know this just isn’t me like I don’t feel like this on a daily... Yet this is how I am feeling now. Not sure if it is a groinal response thing or real arousal because I am over-sexualizing everything. I think because I am thinking of it, it is happening more but it’s been automatic and I don’t know why I am so horny.. I just don’t understand And I’m ruminating so much.

It’s not the high libido that is a problem necessarily. It’s being turned on by every little thing. This never happens to me. I am not turned on by other people and I am by my SO, yet lately anyone showing skin gets me all horny and usually that’s not the case at all.. and I just don’t like the feeling it’s just not me and feeling horny all the time no matter what I do to distract myself, it’s there and I am sexualizing everything and I hate it.

@Jazmine_Leigh Honestly I get shameful and guilty for being horny as well. Maybe that's just my OCD speaking but sometimes I feel like a pervert or a Deviant for just feeling these feelings sometimes. I don't know why that is but it comes up, so you aren't alone! You never ever are when it comes to struggles. How long have you felt this? Do you have any distractions to help? Have you talked about your SO about it?

@BigGip09 It’s not being horny I feel guilty about. It’s getting horny from looking at anyone who is showing skin, and it was just my partner but until recently I know this isn’t me. I am sexualizing everyone and getting turned on by other ppl and on top of it I am constantly getting these fantasies I like.. I hate it because I know this isn’t me... but I feel how i feel idk how to stop it. The reason I haven’t is bcuz my obsession used to be if he is turned on by other ppl and he isn’t, I believe him but I said I think when your in a relationship you should be only turned on by your partner and I didn’t mean like other things can’t like sex scenes or whatever but just a person alone.. and now I randomly have this and I feel guilty and I don’t like how it feels. I hate that I feel like this, I don’t even know if it is real. I told him I am struggling w something and I want to confess but my therapist told me I shouldn’t and he said it is up to me. He agreed when I said the “should” statement but now I feel like he will hate me and that I am a liar... I don’t feel like myself. I have been constantly fancying over other ppl but not him at all and it’s never like this.

@BigGip09 I have also been doubting if I am okay with feeling like this or not, because part of me is like how can someone not be turned on by other stuff if it is sexual or is normal.. but then again maybe I wasn’t turned on b4 by other ppl cuz of the anxiety I was having bcuz once my anxiety wasn’t there as much I started feeling like this. I used to have a porn addiction when I was rlly young.. and I have had these urges and feel like I am cheating w how I feel, even tho cheating is an action it’s because going out of your way to do stuff like that is like cheating to me..

@BigGip09 Sorry for typing a lot but as you can tell. I am ruminating a lot and have lots of guilt and confusion and doubt on every single thing.

@Jazmine_Leigh I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. I know how you feel. I've had a really bad porn addiction in the past as it's all that I worry about now. I worry about the things I have seen, the things I can't remember, and whatever was ethical or not. I worry about a lot of that stuff, but I also try my best not to go back to it. I know for a fact I never downloaded any sick shit and I'm happy I could make sure of that. Honestly, I don't know if it's OCD but it's hard for me to develop sexually because of this addictive thinking of porn. I always think about sexual thoughts, I too get turned on easily, and things like dating and relationships just feel complicated. I've never had one but I would like to have one.. it's just been difficult because I've been trying to rewire my brain completely from porn and never go back to it. My OCD likes to ruminate and distort memories about the porn I watched, but honestly, I can never be sure. I know I've seen bizarre taboo porn from time to time and there has been a point where that's all I could get off to. But, when I realized that, I got really sad and cried about it. I just don't want to be an addict toward these things because I was never like this before. I wasn't always like this without porn and I just want to get back to the times where I wasn't so reliant on that kind of stuff and that kind of thinking you know? I hate being turned on all the time too honestly. Sometimes I feel like it'd be better if I could never get aroused. But we have to be careful what we wish for, you know? If I wasn't any help for you, I really apologize. I'd still be willing to listen to your struggles and letting you know that you aren't alone. Maybe we can even share some things we have in common, hyper arousal and porn addictions being two of them. You're better off not ruminating and accepting uncertainty. Ruminating is a compulsion and it can hurt. Rarely I've gotten headaches from doing it so much.

@BigGip09 It’s weird it’s like I may be ruminating but I don’t have that much anxiety maybe because I put certainty on the thought. Just the thought about talking about it with my boyfriend causes anxiety. I think what you said makes me feel like I am not alone though, just a couple weeks ago I wasn’t getting turned on by other ppl other than my boyfriend, besides sexual related stuff but recently I have been turned on by anything sexual and I know they say that’s how it works anything sexual but it’s not like that for my boyfriend who is turned on by just me and I was just turned on by him. I feel like I am keeping a secret and for some reason I like it.. I don’t know why. Maybe because I am embarasssd and feel like I have this new identity.. not sure. It’s like I get it, ppl are turned on by other ppl at times but I wasn’t and idk just sm confusion maybe confused w who I am right now. I know I feel so distant from him, almost like he doesn’t exist or he isn’t even on my mind that way. It’s almost the “single girl” feeling of liking every guy, checking them out and being horny and fantasizing about them but I didn’t do that b4 I was all about my bf and now I’m not.

@BigGip09 I’m just wondering if I should talk to him about it. I’m just worried what he would say.

@Jazmine_Leigh Maybe because you didn't do that before and only now shows that it's OCD and it wants you to be unsure. This disorder like to focus onto things you want to be sure about but can't be much like other things in life. It sucks. Like a lot. What you can do is accept that there may be a possibility that your OCD could be a reality, but you don't agree with that said thing. And feelings are not facts. Just because you don't feel anxiety or because you do doesn't dictate an answer. This is from what I've experienced. Lots of people say that I shouldn't worry about the things I constantly confess about over and over again but I still do. I'm trying to reduce that though and I'm focusing on my recovery work. Some days are just better than others.

@Jazmine_Leigh Maybe try it one last time. If you go back to ruminate about this, maybe confessing to him won't help

@BigGip09 True. I think I should see how I feel when I see him. It’s like I feel like I know the answer I am being turned on by other ppl. But I remember I had another theme and seriously thought my bf was cheating on me because I had no anxiety behind it at all.. I was 100% wrong and I thought I had all the facts. Some things I can’t let go and I know it’s not good for recovery I just feel like I’m going through some stuff like personal to who I am in a way, I feel like I’m in dream land tho in my head. I do think I am bipolar because I take a mood stabilizer.. and have the symptoms

@Jazmine_Leigh I think that's also the whole point of this disorder. It goes after things that are personal to you, in this case your boyfriend. That's what it loves to do. If it didn't, you wouldn't be worrying about this everyday. If it didn't, you wouldn't be here. That's what I like to think about these things. It's harder for me when it comes to real event but I still try to hope for the best