Anyone else here been dealing with SOOCD for over a year at least and just now getting treatment? I'm finding this is really scary. Like I've let myself believe my thoughts as true in the back of my head for so long that I'm struggling to trust erp and I'm struggling to believe in the values/person I felt I was before ocd. I know it's not my goal to get back to before, but I struggle to even believe the best parts of my relationship were genuine in the past.:/

No thank you for your insight, I totally relate to what you're saying as I've had periods where things have gotten better but even in those times I feared it getting bad again and then of course it does lol bc that's just how the disorder works. Can I ask have you found intimacy difficult during that time? Avoiding intimacy has been my biggest compulsion compulsion for the past year, so much that I'm afraid I've made it so scary in my mind I'll never be able to enjoy it again.

@Whatabtme Yeah ocd is a pest! Intimacy has been one of my main triggers and a lot of my obsession evolve around it, without giving to much reassurance I can tell you that you‘re not alone with that. What helped me lately is being really open with my partner. I told him how scary it feels for me when the obsession are bad and while it was not easy for him he was so understanding and supportive. This could be tmi but we started to include mindfulness in intimacy meaning that I try to focus on how certain things feel or on how he feels and try to be present in the moment. My best advice would be to use intimacy as an exposure. Don’t fixate on how you MUST enjoy it or y y z must be real. Be prepared for thoughts to come up while being intimate, notice them and let yourself feel all the uncomfortable stuff . In my experience it was helpful to just lean in and expose myself. I also tried to take of the pressure that I need to be aroused and feel connected and by that I somehow managed to actually enjoy it again. That doesn’t mean I‘m not struggling anymore but it makes me hopeful that I can have a sex life again lol. If you wanna talk I‘m here for you, I know how difficult all of this is.

@Heleni That makes a lot of sense! I just started NOCD treatment and so my first hierarchy of triggers I created is based around intimacy as it's my biggest trigger as well. I have heard that mindfulness with intimacy can remove some of the expectation, and it helps that my partner is so supportive and understands ocd cause he has his own form of ocd (lucky, right? Lol) but yeah thank you for your advice. It helps to know I'm not alone in that but I see that it's a patient slow process so I'm gonna try and remember that. :)

@Whatabtme Glad to hear that you’re in treatment, I‘m sure your therapist will be extremely helpful will guid you through the process. Yeah I think impatientients and all or nothing - thinking are also things I struggle with. I‘m like: ok I feel better so everything has to perfect now or me and my relationship are doomed forever and recovery is impossible 😂 But as you said it‘s a slow process, and obsessing about the process itself is counterproductive for sure :D

I just wanna say I’m so thankful we can all relate to each other in this theme of OCD. Honestly on this app I haven’t seen many who struggle with ROCD so it’s really nice to know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do / are experiencing the same things I am. It seems like we all have really supportive boyfriends too, which is awesome and definitely extremely helpful in the process to recovery.

@Anonymous For sure! :) we arent alone even when we feel like it

@Anonymous Totally! Knowing that I have a full community of people who just get it helps me so much. I‘m so thankful that we have the ability to get connected with other sufferers

Yeah same. It's just so painful to see the person I love every day and have my perception so clouded, long term and indefinitely

anyone free to private message I just kinda need to talk but like no reassurance