God I really am starting to hate pornsites. I try to only go on the bigger name ones since they put more effort into regulating it and every once in awhile I see an armature video where the girl looks young but can easily be 18 and that happened recently. I tried looking on the comments to see if anyone else questioned her age or confirmed how old she was and no one has. I didn't watch the video but I guess I feel guilty because from the thumbnail the girl looked attractive but questionable on her age and instead of moving on I tried to investigate it. I keep feeling intense guilt even though I didn't even watch the video. Even thought about going back to the video to report it and see if it gets taken off but I decided it would probably be better if I let it go, but now I keep thinking this over and over. I try to use uncertainty to counter these thoughts but the guilt and anxiety just piles on. To the point I was starting to have a panic attack and started disassociating which just made the anxiety worse. Now I just feel disgusting and I hate the feeling. Makes me feel like I don't deserve the air in my lungs.

It's really miserable. I keep trying to remind myself how much this is freaking me out is a sign I'm not okay with this but my brain keeps screaming YOU'RE A MONSTER, YOU'RE HOPELESS etc. I try not to engage with and let it come and go but it's hard not to let it make you depressed.

Yeah idk I've thought about quitting porn but then just using my imagination is really hard because then I get intense intuitive thoughts. At least when I watch porn it focuses my mind so I don't have as many disturbing thoughts. Though I've been moving towards erotic stories because then there's no reason to worry.

@PRYM Don't think. Do it anyway. Quitting porn has its benefits man. Compulsively using forms of pornography won't help. It's especially bad for people with OCD. I really think you should try to quit PMO (porn/masturbating/orgasm) for a while. Try and rewire your brain. This can be good for your mental health. If you're interested, I can really help you out on this man. Porn is honestly not worth it, especially since all it's doing is making you worry. I used to think using softcore porn on instagram, YouTube, and Twitch would help me but things just got worse for me. I'd rather not even deal with it at all and I've been doing better I would say. I've noticed a stronger attraction in the opposite gender and I feel more content with dealing with my OCD.

@BigGip09 Honestly, I think people only use this kind of content to get away from something. To cope. To escape. It's just not worth it in my opinion

@BigGip09 No I totally agree with you. I use it mostly to cope with unwanted feelings. I do have a high sex drive but I feel that only accounts for like 50% of the times I do it. There have been times I tried like the nofap challenge and such and went a few months without it. Felt a lot happier actually but then there was always something that came along that made me want to masturbate again and then I got hooked again.

@PRYM I believe you can get out of this loop again. Especially since you know you were happier without it. I'm sorry that you got hooked but it's definitely not too late to start again.

@BigGip09 Yeah I'm gonna give it a good shot.