- Username
- Jesse Miller
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I treat this just like any other intrusive thought. 1) Find out what the compulsion is. In this case, the ruminating- thinking about the past is the compulsion. So you need to do your best to cut out that compulsion. Your brain is trying to go back into the past and “fix” something or make you feel better one way or another. It’s simply not possible. Time travel is not possible. So my advice would be aware that you are ruminating about the past and now I must do my best to cut that out. Live in the moment. You can’t change the past and you can’t live ahead in the future. So let’s do our best with living in the present moment. Figure out a list of the things you value. Do your best to follow those values. Your values will be your compass in your journey to recovery 😊
I really appreciate this answer. Thank you
I know my memory sucks, so I let it float by like a cloud.
Ive had this problem since 2014(or possibly earlier) Dont ruminate, confess to people/ask them if your a good person or do any of your compulsions. It will really make it stick harder to you. Mine got worse, at one point last year I started to doubt whether my memories were accurate at all, if something even worse happened but I cant remember Thats when I truly spiralled into all day everyday compulsions I've gotten tons better now, it doesnt bother me as much. If you said or did something hurtful to someone. Just apologize once to that person without expecting them to accept your apology and forgive you. Then work with your therapist to reduce your compulsions and to build back your self esteem
I have to add that "all or nothing thinking" seems to be very prevalent in this theme. We can never expect perfection from ourselves. With what information and life skills we knew at the time we were kids or teenagers.. we did what we thought was ok to do. Gotta forgive yourself and not repeat it
And I feel that urge to tell people or if I did they would judge me. I need to accept that I cannot change what has happened and obsessing over it will not make it go away.
@JesseSims Ive confessed to parents, friends, strangers online, acquaintances, people on forums. Did this for 8 years+ None of it helps. Its a compulsion, trust me just work with your therapist. You can go around confessing for the next 40 years to every person on the planet but it wont change a thing, it'll only act like quicksand pulling you in deeper into this mess Basing resolution of the guilt on society's opinion is what ocd loves. Half the people will say dont worry, half the people will say omg why did you do that.. a lot of things are in the grey area and that means its uncertain morally. OCD looooves that grey area
@Artme That is so true.. and I try not to beat myself up about it. I was young and had to learn. It did not stick with me through my adulthood and I shouldn’t be scared of it happening again.
@Artme I really appreciate your advice. This is SO helpful 💜
ya I experienced the disgusting feeling, but I dont think its related to OCD only. I think its a normal feeling
True. But I have been dwelling on it all day long.
@JesseSims Oh so its not normal... you should better live in present moment... the past is just in your head. We see the present form of you now. the amazing person that GOD has created
Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.
anyone else ever think back to something they innocently did at a very young age and your ocd tells you it’s proof of whatever your worry or obsession is
I have Real event ocd about things I did as a kid at 12/13. It’s killing me because it really happened but I feel like a different person now completely. my actions disgust me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to be alive. I constantly have flashbacks about the events and it sends me into a state of panic, I feel as if my younger self has traumatized my older self. i’m so scared that things I did make this true, i really am a bad person, even though i’m an adult now and would never never ever do that again. I’m so scared. All I want is to be a good person but I keep remembering gross things I did and now I feel like the biggest fraud to friends and family and everything good in my life.
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