- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I treat this just like any other intrusive thought. 1) Find out what the compulsion is. In this case, the ruminating- thinking about the past is the compulsion. So you need to do your best to cut out that compulsion. Your brain is trying to go back into the past and “fix” something or make you feel better one way or another. It’s simply not possible. Time travel is not possible. So my advice would be aware that you are ruminating about the past and now I must do my best to cut that out. Live in the moment. You can’t change the past and you can’t live ahead in the future. So let’s do our best with living in the present moment. Figure out a list of the things you value. Do your best to follow those values. Your values will be your compass in your journey to recovery 😊
I really appreciate this answer. Thank you
I know my memory sucks, so I let it float by like a cloud.
Ive had this problem since 2014(or possibly earlier) Dont ruminate, confess to people/ask them if your a good person or do any of your compulsions. It will really make it stick harder to you. Mine got worse, at one point last year I started to doubt whether my memories were accurate at all, if something even worse happened but I cant remember Thats when I truly spiralled into all day everyday compulsions I've gotten tons better now, it doesnt bother me as much. If you said or did something hurtful to someone. Just apologize once to that person without expecting them to accept your apology and forgive you. Then work with your therapist to reduce your compulsions and to build back your self esteem
I have to add that "all or nothing thinking" seems to be very prevalent in this theme. We can never expect perfection from ourselves. With what information and life skills we knew at the time we were kids or teenagers.. we did what we thought was ok to do. Gotta forgive yourself and not repeat it
And I feel that urge to tell people or if I did they would judge me. I need to accept that I cannot change what has happened and obsessing over it will not make it go away.
@JesseSims Ive confessed to parents, friends, strangers online, acquaintances, people on forums. Did this for 8 years+ None of it helps. Its a compulsion, trust me just work with your therapist. You can go around confessing for the next 40 years to every person on the planet but it wont change a thing, it'll only act like quicksand pulling you in deeper into this mess Basing resolution of the guilt on society's opinion is what ocd loves. Half the people will say dont worry, half the people will say omg why did you do that.. a lot of things are in the grey area and that means its uncertain morally. OCD looooves that grey area
@Artme That is so true.. and I try not to beat myself up about it. I was young and had to learn. It did not stick with me through my adulthood and I shouldn’t be scared of it happening again.
@Artme I really appreciate your advice. This is SO helpful 💜
ya I experienced the disgusting feeling, but I dont think its related to OCD only. I think its a normal feeling
True. But I have been dwelling on it all day long.
@JesseSims Oh so its not normal... you should better live in present moment... the past is just in your head. We see the present form of you now. the amazing person that GOD has created
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l
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