First night without picking in AGES. And I just painted my nails so I know I won’t now at least till they’re dry. :) Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about my scars (from picking). Mostly I hate them because they’re on my face and feel so visible and shameful. I’ve learned to love my stretch marks from pregnancy though, and I’m working on loving my bumpy little belly that’s just part of how I’m shaped. I’m wondering if I can apply the same sort of thinking to my scars, even though they’re self-inflicted. They’re still part of my journey, you know? Anyone else have thoughts on/experience with body positivity around scars from mental or physical illness?

A good life, success, healing, beautiful things? ⚠️ Important: please don’t read if this is triggering. No one should think this way about themselves, of course you deserve it all. I struggle with real events and harm OCD. My worst fear is being a bad person, causing harm or doing the wrong thing. These thoughts haunt me all the time and cause me to essentially throw my life away. I don’t go out, pursue opportunities, etc. because what if I don’t deserve them? I think of the worst things I’ve ever done all the time. The things that I’m most ashamed of. Like a broken record that’s all I replay in my head. Doesn’t matter if it was 5 or 10 years ago. And I beat myself up for not doing better. And I just don’t know how to move past it. I’ve read a lot of quotes and books about self help and love and acceptance (e.g. once you know better, do better). But for me I feel like I have to hate myself forever. I won’t ever get a clean slate, there’s a permanent stain on my record. I just can’t forgive myself, whether other people know it or not, I can’t allow myself to move forward. It’s about integrity for me. Does anyone relate? How do you do it? I’m so sorry if you’re also struggling. I don’t wish this for anyone. Please keep fighting, you’re not alone. ❤️

Today I was officially diagnosed, and a lot of my thoughts all day have been “man, what if I actually don’t have it and I exaggerated my symptoms or something.” I had this thought especially because I hadn’t had a really bad episode in a while. But then sure enough, I had a little episode tonight. I feel like I might’ve brought it upon myself, at least in small part. Having difficulty separating OCD paranoia from real life problems to be considered with at the moment 👎🏻 Gonna sleep on it! 🙏🏻❤️

recently i have had a huge problem with picking my skin so it's smooth. i was up all night last night picking my skin and everytime i tried to stop i felt extremely uncomfortable and nauseous. i cut my nails to like nothing and bandaged my problem spots but im still picking at my skin. i simply don't have enough bandages to cover my whole body lmao. i would love some advice on how y'all deal with that.