I think what is making this all harder for me is not being able to talk to my dad about it anymore. He passed a month ago from cancer and he was the only person I could really talk to about what I’m going through. It makes me so sad that I have no one to turn to. My mom isn’t very understanding or supportive about it. When I first told her about what was going on with me she twisted it and called me names. (Worst name you could think of) and ever since it’s been hard to talk to her about it. I know it’s a compulsion if it’s ocd which I’m pretty sure it is but I’m absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I have no one really in my life that could possibly understand and that’s why I’m come on the app and it’s been helpful knowing that I’m not the only one going through this. I just hope one day I can get help. That’s another thing my mom doesn’t agree with is me getting a therapist and I don’t know why. I guess because she’s scared I’m going to be misunderstood too. I’ve been struggling with this for a year now undiagnosed and I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to ever be a monster but my mind makes me think I am one. I’m exhausted

You’re definitely not alone ❤️ there’s a lot of people, including myself dealing with POCD on here and I know how terrifying it is dealing with it without treatment. I’m so sorry your dad passed, I know it feels so you don’t have that safe person anymore. And also with your mom. My mom said the same thing when I tried to get help. She said they’d put my in “a crazy house” but not getting help just closed the walls around me even more. So I know it may seem scary but getting treatment can make this so much less exhausting and you deserve that. But I know finding treatment, especially for OCD is hard depending on your situation. But I really do hope you can get a diagnosis and help as soon as you can. But in the meantime I hope you find this comforting. I only got the app a few days ago and it’s definitely helped.

i'm sorry about your dad:( he's watching over you!! second, you're not alone, i promise. even when it may feel like it. i can promise you that you're so much more loved & needed than you think❤️ you're not a monster. finding treatment (with someone who specializes in ocd) will help you so much! and i can guarantee that these therapists/psychologists have heard it all! so you won't feel judged or anything. u got thisn

First of all im sorry for your loss hope you’re better now, secondly you should see a therapist specialized thirdlyyy IM HERE FOR YOU WHENEVER YOU NEED ANYONE TO TALK TOO + i made a gc for people like you and me with ocd i mean on snapchat if you’d like to be added this is my username (@fatima12375) we’re just trying to help each other out❤️❤️

So sorry for your loss. I agree with the other commenters that finding a therapist who specializes in OCD would be your best bet. They know the techniques and practices needed to help and they’ve dealt with this before... you are not alone. I’m sorry your mother isn’t more supportive of you seeking help, but hopefully she will come around when she sees the therapy working.

You are brave!!! Just here if you need to talk too... You are not alone and I am sure your dad would be proud of you. Continue to fight and never give up, one day it will better 🥰

i’m so sorry you’ve gone through all this. you aren’t a monster and you deserve help. i hope you get it ❤️

Are you getting any better