I think what is making this all harder for me is not being able to talk to my dad about it anymore. He passed a month ago from cancer and he was the only person I could really talk to about what I’m going through. It makes me so sad that I have no one to turn to. My mom isn’t very understanding or supportive about it. When I first told her about what was going on with me she twisted it and called me names. (Worst name you could think of) and ever since it’s been hard to talk to her about it. I know it’s a compulsion if it’s ocd which I’m pretty sure it is but I’m absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I have no one really in my life that could possibly understand and that’s why I’m come on the app and it’s been helpful knowing that I’m not the only one going through this. I just hope one day I can get help. That’s another thing my mom doesn’t agree with is me getting a therapist and I don’t know why. I guess because she’s scared I’m going to be misunderstood too. I’ve been struggling with this for a year now undiagnosed and I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to ever be a monster but my mind makes me think I am one. I’m exhausted

My ocd is in a spiral. My passed away on December 30th and it’s been taking a tole on me. She was sick for a year and half. Couple months before she was diagnosed with cancer I basically told my teachers a lie saying she was I’ll in order to take my exams early so I can go home early. She had diabetes at the time and she’s a single parent but my mind wasn’t solely set on her being sick from on it while I was sending out the emails. Even she was on board with me telling them that she’s basically sick because she gave me a document that shows she’s scheduled for a colonoscopy. But still it isn’t right.!I feel so bad because as soon as I said that a couple months later she gets diagnosed with colon cancer stage 3. There’s this spiritual saying that you’re tongue is powerful, and it truly is. Now I’m having a hard time sleeping. I can’t even grieve without my ocd having multiple episodes. Everyday it’s something new. My ocd is now saying I basically killed my mother and I wished sickness on her. Please help me I cannot go to this funeral nor live with this hanging on my shoulders.

sometimes when I read all these posts I just start crying 😭😭 I hate that we are all suffering like this… ocd is not for the weak and its so frustrating 😭 Im really tired honestly… my ocd has its good and bad days but im just exhausted by all of it. I cant enjoy simple things because my ocd has to overcomplicate every little thing and create these “signs” as to what I am and what I am not. Ive had ocd for over a year now im a just upset 😭😭😭 I dont want to live like this forever… I have a lot of people who say, “you can talk to me if you want” and its really sweet 💓 but I dont think anyone can understand what I am feeling because even I cant… I dont know what im doing- how im feeling- who I am- or even what my values are 😭 ocd just makes me question everything. I am a 14 year old girl 😭😭😭 how am I supposed to know what to do? Ive talked mom about my ocd a few times and she tries to help but she doesn’t even understand 1/5th of what I go through daily. I appreciate her caring even if its a little but I just want some help 😭😭 I am a bit scared of therapy though. But im willing to try but im not sure if my mom will let me… Ocd just makes me feel so unlovable. I hate it.

Hey I’m new to this, I’m a 20 yo female, and I’m pretty sure I’ve had ocd since my childhood, but it’s gotten worse has I’ve gotten older. I never really understood my intrusive thoughts and always felt so sick and uncomfortable when I’d have them. They took a turn many months ago when they became more often and more intense. And I started doing some research on them and came across ocd (which I always thought was just when people don’t like to be unorganized and are like perfectionists or something) but as I was reading different websites and seeing how many types of ocd there was I noticed that I related to most of what I was reading. I still haven’t been officially diagnosed or found a therapist yet but I’m working on it. The past year has been the hardest with my intrusive thoughts. I’m mainly bothered by my pocd and I feel sick to my stomach whenever I get an intrusive thought about a child. I absolutely love kids and would never do anything to hurt them it physically makes me ill when I think about it. (If anyone has any tips to deal with this please reply😭) I think I have an idea to why I have those thoughts. I didn’t have the best childhood I was sa’d at 4&9 by 2 different people that were supposed to take care of me, and I have this horrible fear that i could be like them and it makes me feel so incredibly sick. I was also way too exposed to s3xual things as a child, my family was way too open about s3x growing up like I’m talking adults in my life thought it was okay to openly talk about it to me when I was 6/7 like it was normal. I wish I could explain more but this is already way too long. I’ve only opened up to a select few people about this so this was extremely hard for me, I’m literally fighting for my life… Thank you to anyone who cared enough to read this all the way through I appreciate it so much.🤍