Please help me. Please reply me .I once watched child porn accedently. I remember suddenly came out from that site. But after some time I remember masturbating on imagining what I saw. I don't know why I did that. I was 17 or 18 then. I did that maybe because if my hypersexuality? Curiosity? Or is it that because I always wanted to see kids my age naked? I don't remember I enjoyed it but I am greatly affected by hypersexuality. I will get urges to masturbate atleast 4 times a day and I will do that. But I don't why I did that. That was my first and last time seeing something illegal ( accedently). So this led me to millions of questions like if I am attracted to nude children, does that mean I am capable of assaulting them. I never fantasized any one who is below my age. I remember one or two times I looked at a girl who was around 10 or 11 who was wearing a tight pants. I saw her bottom. I never got arosed by it. But I felt bad. I never remember looking it in a bad manner. I promise. But i am really worried I am attracted to kids and one day I will harm them am I a phedophile? Do someone have some similar experiences? Please help me . I would appreciate any of your reply. Thanks

lucy.wilefirr

Date posted: 4y

. You clicked out of it right ? And you imagined the kids from your age, but didn’t watch the CP again. I don’t wanna reassure you but just sit with the uncertainty ? You got this

nohope123

Date posted: 4y

I clicked away . But I remember I just masturbated imaging what I saw. I just feel immense guilt about it

lucy.wilefirr

Date posted: 4y

@nohope123 Everyone’s done dumb shit . I mean I’ve done dumb shit ocd latches onto dumb shit it’s what it does . When I was little I picked on a boy and thenOCD said a potential suicide is my fault even if it was mild and just kiddish teasing . OCD tends to do that . Like even now I looked up a YouTuber , spelled his name wrong and a questionable looking anime girl popped up , with a low neckline. I clicked out of that and closed my eyes but OCD is still trying to convince me I wanted to see that since after I spelled his name right I looked in that direction out of anxiety . OCD is a trip .

nohope123

Date posted: 4y

@Lucy.Wilefire Exactly when I see a kid , I would suddenly start to test myself. For example I will ask will I be attracted to her if she was standing there nude. I will feel disguised about it . But my OCD Tell me that I am actually capable of molesting a child and I am just faking my disguised feeling

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I totally understand your fears. I’m reading an amazing book at the moment that discusses this, called ‘Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts’ by Sally M. winston and Martin N. seif. It’s amazing and explains that the intrusive thought is the exact opposite of who you are and that’s why it bothers you so much. For example, gentle people getting violent thoughts. It’s difficult but try to remember- there is nothing wrong with you it is not your thoughts it’s how you are dealing with/reacting to them. I can’t do it justice I’m only at the beginning of the book myself but it has been incredibly emotional and so helpful so defo recommend. You will be okay and there is nothing wrong with you x

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

It also explains a lot about thought patterns that make intrusive thoughts worse and so debilitating. I have similar intrusive thoughts I understand your pain and fear. It will be okay x

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