i just read a tik tok comment on a video about disturbing intrusive thoughts and so many comments triggered me saying “this is scary” “you people are sick” etc. and i just started spiraling, i have POCD, harm ocd, inc3st ocd literally so many intrusive thoughts that cause me to panic and feel evil and reading those made me burst out in tears, i’ve never felt so alone. i would never do what my thoughts put in my head, i don’t want them, i don’t believe them, i just want to be a good person and have normal thoughts and i didn’t want this. i am so tired of people misunderstanding me, i DONT want these thoughts, they make me feel sick and evil and i pray at night they’d stop and they never do and now people are saying “you’re sick” and everything, i feel so lost.

Sol

Date posted: 4y

Don't worry, you are not the thoughts in your head. You are what you chose to do with them ❤ And the fact that we know we don't want to and will not act upon these thoughts is the proof. It's all gonna be okay.

hope

Date posted: 4y

thank you, i feel so alone with these thoughts, they scare me so much, i just cry and cry and i don’t know what to do when they attack my brain. i want them to stop and i want to be a normal person, i don’t know what to do to make them stop.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I start getting harmful thoughts like these towards my family and I would think and try to reason with them . You will never end . The goal is to let them pop in your head and not freak out the more you do the more it comes it’s hard but with couple days or months you will start trusting your self not to self talk about them .

angela

Date posted: 4y

You’re not alone in these thoughts!! Honestly I don’t know why they’d say awful things like that, as even people without OCD or even any mental illnesses still have intrusive thoughts that are violent/sexual/mean it’s just part of our brains and how our subconscious can come to the surface. OCD sufferers just tend to have more of these intrusive thoughts, and we lack the ability to recognize that we will not act on these thoughts, or that we did not truly come up with these thoughts on our own. Most people without OCD can rationalize that these random thoughts are just that, random, and are able to push them aside. For some reason (it’s been linked to genes, underdeveloped gray matter in the reasoning parts of our brains and even sometimes illnesses) this reasoning piece of our brain gets stuck, and we start those circles of thought, anxiety, compulsion, relief, restart. Which is why compulsions exist! The people that said those things on TikTok are lying if they say they’ve never experienced any intrusive thoughts. You are perfectly normal and not defined by your ocd thoughts, your mental illness just causes those intrusive thoughts to feel more impactful and therefore more reoccurring. You’re not alone, you’re not evil, and you’re definetly not lesser than anyone for struggling with OCD, keep fighting! :)

hope

Date posted: 4y

this comment made me tear up, thank you for making me feel less alone and isolated. this disorder is no joke, it can make you feel like the worst person on the planet and that you’re “holding in secrets” when really it’s unwanted thoughts and images that you despise so much, i know i am a good person but then i’ll have a panic attack once a weird thought pops in my head or my brain tries to convince me i am something i know i am not inside. it’s so debilitating but i appreciate you so much for putting it into perspective. :)

angela

Date posted: 4y

@havinghope It gets so much easier over time I promise! I’ve suffered from OCD my whole life but with therapy (exposure therapy escpecially) those intrusive thoughts start to feel like annoying gnats rather than the big scary monster they once were! (Also a fun fact that makes me feel better, OCD is one of the most underdiagnosed mental illnesses, so more people can relate to you than you might realize- which can be nice to know! And OCD was even ranked as one of the top ten most debilitating mental illnesses... but also one of the most treatable! so when you feel silly or wrong for letting thoughts take such control, know that there are officials and doctors out there who know how hard it is, and who see you!) I hope some of those stats help, they make me feel validated when I’ve been having a hard time. Sometimes knowing its an organ, your brain, and that there’s science behind why you get those thoughts can also make it feel a little more manageable! I’m so glad that message helped you and I hope your OCD journey is all an easy climb from here, take comfort in knowing there is another side! ☺️

hope

Date posted: 4y

@angela thank you so much!! that means a lot, it’s always nice to know you aren’t alone in this horrible disorder :) 🤍

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