I keep getting this intrusive thought that tells me to try and put something in my mouth like a glass bottle and perform sexual acts with it to see if I like it and it almost feels like an urge and my mind tells me that I won’t do it because I’m scared that I’ll like it and I’m scared to except that I’m actually gay this is so fucking scary it literally makes me grind my teeth squeeze my jaw hard and shake my head fast and roll my eyes I don’t know I do anything to get this thought out of my head but it won’t go away it doesn’t cause me an erection it causes me groinal up but not an erection it’s just scary like I get these urges and it’s scary and I don’t wanna do it because that’s just not who I am but then I get thoughts that I’m in denial and this and that it’s just so sad and frustrating does anybody have any advice

I will give you at least this advice. Try not to keep in doors too. Being around people helps. Get exercise. It will boost your mood. Go the gym if you can. It works as an exposure. You can start feeling a little better.

@Jbm421 For example I was just talking to this worker and every face feature he did every little laugh every detail it tries to focus on it or it’ll say I find him attractive or I find this person attractive it’s annoying that’s why I isolate myself because my OCD makes me feel like I’m attracted to every guy I talk to

@Anonymous Dude, believe me I know what you are saying. Our negative emotions are giving these things the attention it doesn't deserve. Even my brothers would trigger that. Hell even a fat dude would trigger it. For the longest time I stopped looking at dudes in their faces. It took a toll on me. And believe me it will ruin everything, even your attraction to females (which I wouldn't wish on my enemy). I would lock up indoors for the last 2 days and I was miserable. I decided to go out side, bought myself something and went to the gym. Suddenly I'm feeling ok. Not great and the gym was triggering but just better. You gotta take care of yourself. I'm gonna start trying.

@Jbm421 Wow I can’t tell you how relieving it feels to know that there’s someone who it’s almost as similar to me do you ever feel like you can’t get mad at guys or even talk shit about certain guys because your brain starts saying stop talking crap about men you’re gay you like men dude that pisses me off so bad

Yup. Same bro. But the gym is basically exposing you to the worst while still giving you energy. After a while, dudes will kinda stop bothering you. It will come back but then it goes away again. It's a fucked up process but it's a process nonetheless.

Oh dude. Seriously. That shit angers the fuck outta me. I just anxiety thinking about that. It's like it's crazy that it can rob you of a basic human function like being able to be mad a at dude. Shit is fucked. Be careful though as to not use this as reassurance. Having similar experiences or asking "does this happen to you?" is a form of reassurance or reassurance seeking and that makes it worse. Just friendly advice.