Sex; Fetishes; Anxiety; Sexual OCD This contains a lot of strong sexual vocabulary that not everyone may be comfortable with. If these trigger warnings don't relate to you in any way, you don't have to read. Also, only 18+. Usually I never had to include so much trigger warnings for a post on here before, but I thought I should for this one. It's really personal and specific. I don't know if I should put this under my sexual OCD, but this is really making my head spin. I don't know who else to tell or what to do, so I just want to maybe let this all out. I'm someone that has always worried about their sex life. I'm still fairly young but I stay being anxious about things related to sex. I get anxious before and after masturbating, I get anxious about my porn addiction in the past, I get anxious about my urges, fantasies, thoughts, and even things I'm generally comfortable with. Lately my thoughts have been centered around fetishes, which I do have a few of that I'm okay with. I have a foot fetish and I love feet. I also have fetishes for legs, buttocks, and lips. It may not really be fair to call these fetishes and just regular attractions, but I'm not too sure. I'm just aroused by the things I listed when it comes to attractive women. Unfortunately there have been porn induced fetishes that have came my way that include shemales, exhibitionism, spanking, tickle torture, anal, pooping, deepthroating, etc. All of these porn induced fetishes are pretty much gone. I don't think about any of them on a regular basis whatsoever. And if I do, it's only calling back to the videos I had seen bizarrely on porn sites. I'd prefer not to go back because I don't want to be hooked on something so damaging that really had a negative effect on my life. I'm trying to rewire my brain as best as I can. However, I'm really concerned about a recent fetish I've discovered regarding flatulence/farting. I have a bad feeling that somehow my brain has connected some sort of node that because I find buttocks very attractive, I would also like it if a woman with a large butt were to release loud/heavy farts. I've never made these connections until a few months ago, where I sometimes find myself being strongly aroused by the thought of a woman's butt being shown off but unexpectedly farting. For example: If I'm already aroused due to the presence of a woman's butt twerking or swerving, the thought of her letting out a heavy fart then intrudes, yet it would make me even more horny than before. I don't know if this is because of a taboo factor playing a part of it or because of farting being associated with butts. In the past I've watched videos that follow the example I just gave and masturbated to it. Once it was due to sexual thoughts. But in general terms, hearing farts or smelling them do nothing for me but disgust me and I never think about it in general like I do with feet. I actually enjoy the smell of feet whether sweaty or lotioned. Normally I'm able to seperate fantasies with fetishes I'd see myself realistically experimenting like the fetishes I'm okay with but in contrast of the porn induced listed ones. And I'm also okay with pretty much all fetishes and kinks that don't allow hurting people, carrying out illegal acts, unconsentual behavior, or children. Seriously, is this normal? Is this just a closet fetish or something? I've also heard that it's common for women to pass gas when it comes to sex because of how the penis blocks air that needs to be pushed out some other way. I don't know how true that is. I really don't know what to do about this and it's been a rare reoccurrence I've had when it comes to my sex life. I don't think I would ever want a woman to fart on my face or have this be something I NEED in order to be aroused in the first place. It's just something that comes up rarely when I'm already aroused or already masturbating to buttocks and nothing to do with them farting. Does anyone else get this? Or at least understand?

matt_

Date posted: 4y

Hm..there’s nothing you can do to get away from being sexually aroused by women that’s totally normal. And just because you are aroused by something doesn’t mean u need to figure out if you like that thing or not. Intrusive thoughts being mixed in while you are currently aroused can cause a lot of confusion I wouldn’t look into those too much... what you can do it begin exploring what truly IS arousing about actual sex with a female. And that is the connection and the literally physical stimulation of it. But mostly the spiritual connection. Begin to define sex in a much more spiritual way. It’s purpose is to establish a connection, not to turn you on or feed your urges. yes sex can be fun and dirty and kinky and whatever you want it to be. But focus on learning what’s real about it and don’t give so much importance to our constructed kinks or fetishes. They’re more like the cherry on top. But the ice cream is the spiritual and physical connection between two people. See how you can redefine sex and society and porn has made our definition of sex just focused on visual stimulation exclusively?

BigGyro09

Date posted: 4y

Wow. I think you're absolutely right about all of that. I'm trying my best not to watch porn. I had a relapse a few days ago with softcore porn and masturbating but for the most part I think I've been doing much better than before. I also didn't feel too guilty about it. That's exactly what I want in my life. I want a spiritual connection with a woman. Sex should just be something that comes naturally through the strong love we share with each other. Not just some hit it and quit it thing. Or something just to satisfy urges. That's not why I would want to have sex all of the time. If I even have it that much. But in the meantime, I'm under so much sexual feelings I don't really know what to do with them. I can't help but feel them so strongly and end up masturbating so they go away. It's actually heart pounding sometimes. I'm really trying not to engage with any of it but it may be unhealthy. Is it?

matt_

Date posted: 4y

@BigGip09 You could be using masturbation as a form of self soothing. The same way we eat sweets and drink alcohol because they help us feel good. If you feel like that. Then get rid of your dependence on it. I stopped watching porn altogether. And I didn’t masturbate for a very long time. (I’m in a relationship so that makes it a lot easier Cuz I was able to have sex regularly) I masturbate now but I try not to make it a habit. Only if I really feel horny I’ll do it. Which is different than doing it because it’s a habit and it makes me feel good. You taught your brain to crave it for basically no reason which means you can unteach it too. Find a way to channel that energy into something els. Tell yourself your not actually horny your brain is just addicted to the dopamine that’s released when you orgasm and it doesn’t actually do anything for you. If you want to be extreme to start off, cut out masturbation altogether for a while. However it is pretty healthy to do like once a week or a couple times so maybe once you build up your will power you can go back to doing it every now and then. When the time is right. And when you do it. Try not to use any stimulus OTHER than your own physical touch. Try not to think about anything, don’t picture porn or anything like that. It’s almost like meditation, just feel what is happening and that’s it. There’s a few tips that can help shift wat sex and masturbation mean to you. The images of porn and arousing stimuli are really hard to get rid of but at some point they’re just natural. Like I said being in a relationship helps because then you get to express some of your kinks within the relationship. So don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s a long journey of exploring what sex really is. I think I’ve only just scratched the surface

BigGyro09

Date posted: 4y

Honestly what I want is to explore further with my sex life. I want porn to be gone completely. I want to make masturbating way less of a habit than it was from the start. I want to channel this energy into something different. I want a relationship for experiences. I want out of my comfort zone. I also want to just stop this OCD and understand that I shouldn't have anything to worry about legal wise and I shouldn't feel shame for the things I used to do. I also find that only the sensations of physical touching with masturbation gives me a lot more pleasure then visual or mental pleasure. It feels more real that way. I don't know how to go back to doing it weekly or if I can to be honest. I'm afraid that once I do I'll just go back to my habit and do it more than I should and I really don't want that

matt_

Date posted: 4y

Just get mentally tough. It’s all up to you. There are a lot more important things in life lol. I gotta get busy. Start working toward something. Being stagnant will always end poorly. Get going. Workout everyday. Set some goals. Listen to jocko willink talk about discipline. That’ll get u fired up

matt_

Date posted: 4y

@matt_ You gotta get busy** not I haha

BigGyro09

Date posted: 4y

@matt_ I'm gonna try and be as busy as I can. Which is why I can't wait for the summer. That way I will be engaged with many things and I will be able to go outside more than I usually do. Just to get out of my head. Especially to get away from my past which is the most annoying thing. Thanks for your comments. It does help.

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