- Username
- SamIAm
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Well, I dont know how well I’m handling it - not really very well. First, I’m now nervous that the guy who has not been wearing a mask could have spread the virus to my family and me. And now I have to be worried for the next 14 days waiting to see if any of us get sick. But also I’m angry and depressed that this happened, that yet again I have a new OCD contamination thing to worry about. Contamination OCD - any form of OCD - is a constant battle. And I hate it. And it makes me live with almost constant anxiety and then I’m depressed over being anxious over things “normal” people just deal with.
But! You haven't mentioned acting out against others, or acting destructive because of the lack of control. So I'd like to be supportive and acknowledge that: that is difficult, and you seem to be doing relatively well, given the very uncomfortable circumstance.
I completely understand your dilemma. Something that helps me in these situations is the serenity prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” (feel free to leave or take the “God” part out). You mention you are worried about the son working in a large indoor space with tens of other workers. I have a similar situation with my parents being elementary school teachers. While they wear masks, they can’t control whether students go to school or not, possibly with COVID-19. I learned to let go of my anxiety over whether a student could give them COVID-19 because I have zero control over that. However that doesn’t stop me from taking precautions and reminding them to do the same.
I totally relate, and that must feel really awful. It sounds like you're handling it very well though!
My contamination OCD just won't give me any piece. All I think about all day everyday is being contaminated with covid. I'm scared to be around people. I'm scared to touch anything even in my own home, because I share it with my parents and I think they may have touched something when they're out and then bought covid back into the house. I'm hardly sleeping because I can't switch my mind off. I'm spending ages in the shower because I can't seem to feel clean and my hands are sore and red from constantly washing them. It's driving me crazy I feel anxious constantly my heart pounds I feel sick, shaky and have hardly any appetite. Please give me any advice that can help.
I feel so weird and dumb right now, but my brother just moved back into town and needed a place for his things. His “things” meaning a dresser and bed. Well turned out to be a lot more than two things. My anxiety started racing, I could feel my body tense up, I couldn’t catch my breath. Now everything he has brought from “outside” (from his old apartment/ from touching the inside of the dirty y-haul) to inside my clean room. Now I’m freaking out that everything is contaminated. They put it in the bedroom I don’t use, except to store my extra “things”. Now his things are touching my things that I have left in that room as storage. I don’t know how to get out of my head that his “things” are contaminating mine??? Now it makes me not want to use that room.
Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts
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