Hi everyone, I am having a really bad day struggling with HOCD. A little bit amount me is I am a 22 year old woman. Since the pandemic began my HOCD has been consistent as well as Trans OCD has developed. I also just want to say half my friends are part of the LGBTQ+ community and I love them dearly. What I am struggling with today is, currently I am living at home. A huge fear I have with the HOCD is if I were gay then I would have to come out to my family and what if they didn’t love me, specifically my mom. All day I’ve been around her and battling in my head to ask her if she would still love me if I was gay or if I was trans. I am 99% sure rationally she would still love me but it’s a huge fear I have. To lose my family’s support of me. I have a fear she would be disappointed in me if I was. I am also on my third week taking Prozac and am experiencing a large amount of panic. The weather is also super gloomy today by where I am which has impacted my mood. I’m just trying to tell myself the thoughts are only temporary. I guess I’m just looking for some support from people who know this feeling. Thanks for reading.

BrianWright

Date posted: 4y

i hear you and understand you 101%. i used to have those same fears and obsessions

Enb298

Date posted: 4y

Can I ask what helped you out when coping or trying to seek reassurance?

BrianWright

Date posted: 4y

@Enb298 reinsurance is a complusion! and all that i can recommend is ERP

Enb298

Date posted: 4y

@BrianWright I know that’s why I’ve been really trying not to ask my mom for reassurance. Thanks so much for reading and the support!

222

Date posted: 4y

Hi, first of I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and struggles. I know how hard and scary it can be to write it out and then share it with everyone! I am 20 years old, and my HOCD also started with the pandemic & over time I had the subtype of TOCD also. I relate to you a lot, even with the bit about the family. I have a huge, very accepting family but that was always at the forefront of my mind when dealing with these themes. I’m really sorry that you are struggling, I just hope you know you’re apart of a community where we all understand and can empathize with each other and our struggles. You aren’t alone! Chrissie Hodges on YouTube is someone that really helped me get my bearings with both HOCD & TOCD, so if you need some other support I would recommend checking her out :) do you have access to treatment at the moment?

Enb298

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so much! Yes luckily I’ve been in CBT therapy since last May and it’s helped a lot. I just feel sometimes when I’m having these really rough days it’s just nice to know that other people are out there who go through the same thing!

222

Date posted: 4y

@Enb298 For sure!!! This app quite literally saved my life. Before I received my diagnosis and started treatment, I felt extremely alone. Then I found NOCD! This community of people has helped me tremendously :p There is also a support group called OCD Peers they have sessions dealing w different things related to OCD almost daily (ab $35 a session) for about an hour, which also can be a great place to seek support

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