- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i have a similar thing with goodbye rituals when i leave the house, if i miss a name i have to start all over. for stuff where i feel like something bad is going to happen i try to condition myself to ignore them by instead of thinking "if i dont do this someone will die", ill think "if i dont do this that chair will turn blue right now". that way when you ignore it you can have visual proof that nothing happened
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s such a great idea! I never thought about it like that! Thank you so much for sharing!
- Date posted
- 4y
I can definitely 100% relate to this, reading your comment made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I have set prayers that I say throughout the day on a daily basis, every morning I have to say them, and many other times throughout the day when I get a worry or an anxious thought, and just like you, if I mess up or say something incorrectly, or it simply just doesn’t feel satisfactory, then I will have to start all over again. I do these ‘set prayers’ to wipe out negative thoughts and worries that occur, or out of fear that something bad will happen, so I pray to prevent it from happening. And like you, I can’t go a day without it because I fear that if I don’t do them, then the things I’m praying to prevent from happening, will happen. I do these prayers continuously throughout the day and it’s exhausting, it also stems to my Contamination OCD because some of my set prayers are me praying about not getting ill or contaminated, but there are also many other themes and topics that I pray about- but it’s exhausting and I can totally relate to you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for replying! It absolutely helps knowing that I’m not the only person who struggles with this. It has always bothered me throughout the years, but I’m starting to take a real look at my life and self lately and this is the number one obstacle that I feel like is holding me back from the life I want. I am mentally exhausted. It makes me tired, and so then I just sleep when I’m free just so I can get a break. I don’t want to be like this anymore, so I really need to figure out how to manage it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm similar. Had Scrupulosity / Religion and Moral OCD for about 6ish years. After about a year of thinking and struggling I decided I didn't believe in my religion anymore, so I decided if I didn't believe in it then there was no reason to pray. I still don't believe in that Religion but I've decided there's got to be SOMETHING higher than us, a form of Creator or God, whatever that may be, a deity or not. I tried praying about 6 months ago or so and suddenly my scrupulosity came rushing back, the praying compulsions (including starting it over and feeling guilty if had an inappropriate / intrusive thoughts or feeling), the guilt, obsessing over my thoughts and feelings, etc. Currently working through it with therapy.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for sharing! I actually used to pray when I was younger, and I remember one day I just said I’m not doing this anymore.. and i stopped doing it until about 7 years ago, and now I don’t even have the obsession I feel like.. I just feel so off, that I need to pray or something bad will happen. I will have to start over several times because I don’t like certain numbers. It’s definitely interfering with life.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi this my first time ever hearing about this app n i downloaded it because lately my ocd been really bad and I feel I can’t have control over it it scares me because I sometimes hurt people around me when I don’t mean to for example my bf everytime something goes well my head just starts spinning in circles with bad thoughts n wanting to ruin stuff with him lowkey I messed up big times bc I let this time my thoughts win me over n took everything off on him without thinking n realizing how bad I had affected him it kills me because everytime I think im jus a weak person bc I always let everything get to me I’m jus so scared because now my head jus tells me your not good enough your gonna lose him this literally jus happens when something positive comes in my head or something good happens always jus wanna ruin it I hate it because I always believe my thoughts instead of him not because I don’t want to but because also of my past n trauma jus fucks it even more from the deep of my heart i believe him but my head reacts differently n lets it out n now am in the situation of knowing I can lose him any minute now even tho am putting my faith in god n trying my hardest to think positive n be better everyday I’m really trying but w ocd it’s so hard n jus get scared n let my thoughts get to me😞 idk what to do anymore
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
- Date posted
- 11w
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
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