- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i have a similar thing with goodbye rituals when i leave the house, if i miss a name i have to start all over. for stuff where i feel like something bad is going to happen i try to condition myself to ignore them by instead of thinking "if i dont do this someone will die", ill think "if i dont do this that chair will turn blue right now". that way when you ignore it you can have visual proof that nothing happened
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s such a great idea! I never thought about it like that! Thank you so much for sharing!
- Date posted
- 4y
I can definitely 100% relate to this, reading your comment made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I have set prayers that I say throughout the day on a daily basis, every morning I have to say them, and many other times throughout the day when I get a worry or an anxious thought, and just like you, if I mess up or say something incorrectly, or it simply just doesn’t feel satisfactory, then I will have to start all over again. I do these ‘set prayers’ to wipe out negative thoughts and worries that occur, or out of fear that something bad will happen, so I pray to prevent it from happening. And like you, I can’t go a day without it because I fear that if I don’t do them, then the things I’m praying to prevent from happening, will happen. I do these prayers continuously throughout the day and it’s exhausting, it also stems to my Contamination OCD because some of my set prayers are me praying about not getting ill or contaminated, but there are also many other themes and topics that I pray about- but it’s exhausting and I can totally relate to you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for replying! It absolutely helps knowing that I’m not the only person who struggles with this. It has always bothered me throughout the years, but I’m starting to take a real look at my life and self lately and this is the number one obstacle that I feel like is holding me back from the life I want. I am mentally exhausted. It makes me tired, and so then I just sleep when I’m free just so I can get a break. I don’t want to be like this anymore, so I really need to figure out how to manage it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm similar. Had Scrupulosity / Religion and Moral OCD for about 6ish years. After about a year of thinking and struggling I decided I didn't believe in my religion anymore, so I decided if I didn't believe in it then there was no reason to pray. I still don't believe in that Religion but I've decided there's got to be SOMETHING higher than us, a form of Creator or God, whatever that may be, a deity or not. I tried praying about 6 months ago or so and suddenly my scrupulosity came rushing back, the praying compulsions (including starting it over and feeling guilty if had an inappropriate / intrusive thoughts or feeling), the guilt, obsessing over my thoughts and feelings, etc. Currently working through it with therapy.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for sharing! I actually used to pray when I was younger, and I remember one day I just said I’m not doing this anymore.. and i stopped doing it until about 7 years ago, and now I don’t even have the obsession I feel like.. I just feel so off, that I need to pray or something bad will happen. I will have to start over several times because I don’t like certain numbers. It’s definitely interfering with life.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 12w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
- Date posted
- 5w
So I am a practicing Catholic, and I've gotten into reading the Bible this year, praying the Rosary, things like that, and while I love to do that, my OCD has been seeming to take over, in ways such as like I have to read the Bible for a certain amount of time before I'm satisfied with the time read, or something along those lines, and it's starting to make the thought of praying and reading the Bible unenjoyable, which is really hurting me inside, because I used to and want to enjoy it so bad, but now this is making it really hard to, because it feels like I don't have control over my own thoughts, and little things trigger the thoughts, it's just so annoying. If there's anything anyone thinks I can do to combat this please let me know.
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