- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i have a similar thing with goodbye rituals when i leave the house, if i miss a name i have to start all over. for stuff where i feel like something bad is going to happen i try to condition myself to ignore them by instead of thinking "if i dont do this someone will die", ill think "if i dont do this that chair will turn blue right now". that way when you ignore it you can have visual proof that nothing happened
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s such a great idea! I never thought about it like that! Thank you so much for sharing!
- Date posted
- 4y
I can definitely 100% relate to this, reading your comment made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I have set prayers that I say throughout the day on a daily basis, every morning I have to say them, and many other times throughout the day when I get a worry or an anxious thought, and just like you, if I mess up or say something incorrectly, or it simply just doesn’t feel satisfactory, then I will have to start all over again. I do these ‘set prayers’ to wipe out negative thoughts and worries that occur, or out of fear that something bad will happen, so I pray to prevent it from happening. And like you, I can’t go a day without it because I fear that if I don’t do them, then the things I’m praying to prevent from happening, will happen. I do these prayers continuously throughout the day and it’s exhausting, it also stems to my Contamination OCD because some of my set prayers are me praying about not getting ill or contaminated, but there are also many other themes and topics that I pray about- but it’s exhausting and I can totally relate to you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for replying! It absolutely helps knowing that I’m not the only person who struggles with this. It has always bothered me throughout the years, but I’m starting to take a real look at my life and self lately and this is the number one obstacle that I feel like is holding me back from the life I want. I am mentally exhausted. It makes me tired, and so then I just sleep when I’m free just so I can get a break. I don’t want to be like this anymore, so I really need to figure out how to manage it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm similar. Had Scrupulosity / Religion and Moral OCD for about 6ish years. After about a year of thinking and struggling I decided I didn't believe in my religion anymore, so I decided if I didn't believe in it then there was no reason to pray. I still don't believe in that Religion but I've decided there's got to be SOMETHING higher than us, a form of Creator or God, whatever that may be, a deity or not. I tried praying about 6 months ago or so and suddenly my scrupulosity came rushing back, the praying compulsions (including starting it over and feeling guilty if had an inappropriate / intrusive thoughts or feeling), the guilt, obsessing over my thoughts and feelings, etc. Currently working through it with therapy.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for sharing! I actually used to pray when I was younger, and I remember one day I just said I’m not doing this anymore.. and i stopped doing it until about 7 years ago, and now I don’t even have the obsession I feel like.. I just feel so off, that I need to pray or something bad will happen. I will have to start over several times because I don’t like certain numbers. It’s definitely interfering with life.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 12w
TW religious ocd OCD is turning innapropriate desires into prayers. Essentially the best way I can describe it is everyone has innapropriate desires sometimes. One example is if I’m suicidal, I wouldn’t mind if a meteor hit while I was asleep. Obviously that affects other people too, but if it’s not my fault, selfishly I want it. Well, it essentially turns that “I want this” thought into me thinking towards god “this would be nice if it happens.” Especially if it wasn’t my fault at all, I wouldn’t mind. My brain can VERY easily turn that into a prayer. All I have to do is direct it for a second towards god, and boom, technically it’s a prayer. Has anyone else had this? It really seems like ocd, even if it is VERY technically a prayer. It doesn’t seem like a normal, thought out prayer
- Date posted
- 27d
first post on here, and i almost feel ashamed that its come to this point.. but i really need help. i have a constant fear that everything is bad luck. my brain has decided that certain numbers or words will cause something bad to happen to my family or me, and i really dont want anything to happen. my brain tells me that all of my compulsions are signs from God, and that if i dont listen, He will be disappointed in me. and i become afraid that every small mistake i made results in bad things happening to me. even posting this is terrifying to me, but im running out of options at this point.. i dont want to feel like this anymore, i want to believe in God without these thoughts.
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