I keep getting intrusive feelings before the thoughts kick in... I don’t want to be gay or bisexual in denial... I say I want a girlfriend out loud but it’s making me feel like I’m lying to myself because I’m not feeling anything when looking at women on tv...

This happens to me too

Same

@Legallyocd It kinda terrifying me... what have you guys been doing for exposures ?

@Anonymous Watching YouTube videos of lesbians either coming out or talking about how to know. Writing a story of your fear coming true. Talking to women (not in a sexual or flirtatious way, but talking to them)

@Legallyocd How do you handle the response prevention- that’s where I am struggling a lot. How do you feel when you watch the videos? I feel like I look for similarities or differences which prove and disprove my point and that causes anxiety

@Anonymous Try not to figure it out. While watching them I like to say. “Maybe I’m a Lesbian.” It causes high anxiety but the more you do it, the more it will decrease. Let the sensations, feelings, and thoughts come and don’t try to stop them

@Day513 I will do that thank you! It just sucks cause the more those come the more I feel like then I it must be true

@Anonymous I’m struggling with the rp part as well. Actually that’s the most important part. To not do the compulsions

@Legallyocd Do either of you guys struggle with the similarities between hocd and coming out videos it starts to really confuse me like is that me is that what I want and then I just feel really lost

@Anonymous Absolutely I’m struggling so much I just can’t trying to figure this out. I feel like if I stop ritualizing then I am a gay or I will come out at some point and I want to get the pain over with than continue having this what if. What if the pain never comes but the stronger voice in me says yes but what if it does.

@Legallyocd Yes I feel similarly- like if I let the thoughts just sit and accept them I’m gay. But something in me feels the need to fight that tooth and nail. Like I can’t just accept it so I look for reassurance I think but nothing is satisfying. I just want to be past it

@Anonymous Absolutely. It’s incredible but even though I have you guys here on the app that are going through the same thing as I am, my mind keeps telling me no. You are different. You actually are gay.

@Legallyocd Omg yes!!!!! I am the same I’m like nope mine is different. It terrifying to me! And all the coming out stories about it being different with women and feeling right now I’m terrified that’s what it would be like for me? It’s all so confusing

@Anonymous I think our feelings get the better of us to. We constantly looking for the aha moment but even at the state that we are in we would doubt that as well. So it is true that the most Accurate answer is “I don’t know.” If it helps I watch a video on YouTube. Put in the search bar ocd stories choices. And click on the one that says dr. Steven Phillipson. It should be the first one. It’s a hour video because it’s an audio book.

@Legallyocd I’ll deffinitley look that one up

Agreed. I’m a female and I feel so uncomfortable around women now. I never felt like that before