Annoyed, numb and extremely depressed.

I've been very up and down lately. But Ive keeping up with the ERP including going to the gym almost every day. But it keeps hitting me during every other thought. I'm mentally exhausted.

@Jbm421 Recovery isn’t liner! You’re going to have good days and bad days, it’s amazing that you’re still powering through with erp! You’ll begin to start having more good days than bad and I’m so excited for you :) make sure you have time to yourself to do something you love and enjoy, even some self care! We gotta make sure to look after ourselves (for me this has been making homemade pizza once a week as a lil treat haha) :)

@MelodyOCD Only thing is even my "good" days have too much bad. Well, I'm a hardcore gamer. They are my escape. Plus this weekend my family wants to celebrate my birthday early.

@Jbm421 That’s so exciting! Are you doing anything fun for it? :) and I wish I could play games haha! I’ve recently started playing the Zelda botw but until this I’ve only ever played animal crossing haha! What’s your favourite? You could maybe get into a new one? :) try to remember that the bad days don’t override the good days, even if you just have a good hour or a good ten mins, that’s still amazing progress. Don’t put yourself down :)

@MelodyOCD I beat BOTW and I'm halfway through the DLC. No I'm not starting a new game. I have too many games I'm playing at the moment (Bloodborne, Crash 4, Control, Astral Chain and Yoshi's Crafted World). Dont get me wrong, I give myself credit. I'm not as bad as I was weeks ago. But as I'm sure you know, OCD is a sore loser. Shit just a few minutes ago it was telling me its definitely all true (probably because I've been doing so much ERP) and making me completely numb to females is its biggest bad trick. 😔

@Jbm421 Ooo I’m at the point where I can go into the castle but I’m too scared haha! I’ve spent the whole game avoiding fighting 😂😂 it’s great that you’re recognising your ocd thoughts tho, that shows real progress you should be proud! I also experienced loss of attraction (still going through this a little bit) and it sucks I feel you there :( but the more you get better the more I’m sure this will come back! It’s a common ocd symptom with sexual themes!

@MelodyOCD Well, think of going into the castle as a metaphor for conquering OCD. Make sure you have the Master Sword (and fully powered too) and also make sure to look for the Hyrule Shield inside the castle. That's what I'm doing with Bloodborne. It's one of the hardest games on PS4 but I'm slowly making my way through it. I know it's a symptom but I just get afraid that it wont come back this time. 😢

@Jbm421 I’ve got the master sword haha! I’ll head in tomorrow to fight my ocd haha 😎 and I get you that’s always my fear too :( but I think that fear again is ocd keeping us in its loop whenever it recognises we’ve caught it out! It’s the doubting disease so it’s going to make us doubt everything, the best we can do is say it might come back but it might not, I’ll take the risk and do erp and get better and see what happens!

@MelodyOCD I wont stop ERP because if I do the fear wins.

@Jbm421 Exactly! You’ve got this!!