I feel I've become numb to everything. My anxiety fluctuates but the thoughts, the ERP, the loss of attraction. I feel very numb. Why do I have to go through this fucking shit? I just wanna get back to chasing women and chilling out. I do neither because of this bullshit. That's what it all is. Its bullshit. Fuck OCD, Pure O, HOCD, ROCD, SO-OCD!!! Fuck this bullshit!!!

I just broke down crying over it. I can handle so much now. I'm stronger but it still took females from me. And it feels like I cant get them back. 😭

@Jbm421 Me too man it feels as if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life or i might do something I'll regret in the future. It's like I see these amazing couples and I look and the female and wish I had someone like her and then I look at the guy and wish I was that guy because he's confident it what he likes and is confident in his relationship. It sucks but I'm starting to enjoy being by myself because wanting to be in a relationship caused my rocd to trigger and not being in one causes my hocd to come up but little by little it's going away and I'm seeing the flaws in my thoughts and memories. I just hope I'm still me when this is over and I hope I'll be with a female in future and if not track with be my girlfriend.

@Jbm421 And I've cried too man

@tobious Glover Literally everything you said is me all over including the ROCD. I just get so frustrated because I've made so much progress in ERP (though I still have a ways to go) but I'm so much braver than I use to be and I'm much better at noticing OCD. But still make so many mistakes, the biggest being letting years go by and not taking care of this when I should have. I fear that too many years have passed and but i will fix the damage that has been done. I will right the wrong that has been done to me.

@tobious Glover I felt this. Recently I been trying too not go back to old cumpulsions but my ocd just keeps scanning for any little feeling of fear, anxiety proving I'm not being truthfull to get me to go back too checking and reassuring.

It's very uncomfortable especially when you dont want to be misunderstood and ERP is very difficult but it allows you to slowly kill all the fear you have. It's akin to standing on a tall building to get over your fear of heights only you are gradually exposed to things that trigger you. It's just sometimes the pressure does build and you break down. Recovery is not linear and setbacks are routine. But I refuse to go backwards on the path forward that I'm on. I've done the whole stuck in bed for hours after not sleeping thing. I am not a fan of that shit.

@Jbm421 Exactly bro keep pushing no matter how hard the anxiety is man because it's fear wrapped up in a ball

@tobious Glover ....I'm also not a fan of this loss of attraction shit. It literally taints everything I do.

@tobious Glover Cant even watch movies or tv without it fucking with me in some way, shape or form.

@Jbm421 Look me too man I can't live life the same but what some ocd specialist say that you libito comes back over time so just be patient bro bro.

@tobious Glover That shit is kicking my ass this morning. I feel like its become a theme unto itself....

@Jbm421 Same tryna remain string

@Jbm421 Bro no lie when my libito went away I thought I lost my attraction for everything for the rest of my life, at one point I thought I was asexual until I saw this beautiful girl and started talking to her

@tobious Glover That's what I need bro.

@tobious Glover Tbh, that's how I feel right now. That asexual shit....👎👎👎👎

@Jbm421 Facts bruh 👌💯