Not looking for reassurance but tips on how to get over this thought or get past this? Got triggered awhile ago while masturbating to my boyfriend's nudes/videos, when suddenly his younger nephew (a minor) popped in my head and made me spiral and led me to think I like his younger nephew like that which I know is NOT true at all but OCD is making me think what if I really do? It's disgusting because I'm not a pedo nor am I attracted to younger boys. I can acknowledge if a person is attractive or had potential young or not but it doesn't mean I want to date every one of them. It's like saying a family member or a baby is cute. But it's making me feel weird that he popped in my head. Sometimes when I masturbate and I'm really about to reach an orgasm or just feeling it, random inappropriate thoughts pop in my head like situations or people even if I don't want them to but it's lile my brain makes me think of them. I really don't want to tell anyone especially when there's a risk people won't understand but I also kind of have a confession compulsion because I'm scared that having these thoughts will make my boyfriend not want me anymore even if I don't mean to have them or they aren't true. Also I don't have to find it weird or awkward every time I talk to his nephew now. I'm fond of the kid in the way I'm fond of my younger cousins his age, like I'm like an older sister to them and I vibe with them. But having this obsessive thought/fear makes me feel like I'm hiding something big from my boyfriend and I should be transparent with him at all times but I also don't wanna have to tell him or anyone this because it'll scare them off. I had similar obsessions and ocd related thoughts to pedophilia and incest and have gotten over them. It crosses my mind from time to time but it didn't have the same anxiety effect as before. Is this something I can get over without breaking down and admitting everything to my boyfriend or breaking up with him for?

From what I can understand here it seems that you are adding a lot of meaning to these intrusive thoughts. Think about it, the thought slipped into your head and that's it, it's just a thought. There is this ocd strategy called diffusion which is meant to help us take away the association that a thought has to mean something, because they don't! A thought is just a thought, even if it's intrusive. You're giving too much attention to your intrusive thoughts and overanalyzing who you are. We want to avoid that, here's something you could try: Imagine your thoughts are unwanted party visitors. You're the host and you didn't invite these people, and they are known to be quite annoying. They still show up at the party and you have to kick them out, by the time the party ends you spent all day trying to kick out these visitors since they keep coming to your party (even when kicked out) and you weren't able to enjoy yourself. Instead of trying to kick out the visitors, how about try to let them be. This time you notice that when you're not giving all this attention to thinking of the unwelcomed visitors, you are able to enjoy yourself at the party. And guess what, the unwelcomed visitors were actually not that bad, although you thought they were, these visitors actually were the life of the party. There is a video on this, it's called "Unwelcomed Guest" if I remember correctly. So look that up on YouTube, if you can't find it let me know.

@Albert de Blois I keep getting scared that if I were to tell my boyfriend or if my boyfriend were to find out what some of these thoughts are and who they involve and how fucked up they are is thay they're not going to accept me and think I am fucked up even if it's something I can't control. It makes me sad and scared. Sometimes my compulsions are telling or confessing it to him so I can get that reassurance that he won't leave me cause of my OCD and the thought it gives me but I know this is something I can never tell him because 1. it can ruin our relationship if he doesn't understand and put malice whenever his nephew and i interact 2. it's a compulsion so i shouldn't confess

@rosecoloredgirl I struggle with this exact same thing, I had a thought about hooking up with a girl and I told my girlfriend and she was upset. You don't have to tell your boyfriend, I would suggest talking to him about your ocd but not necessarily that part. And then just know that the thoughts mean nothing even if they come while you masturbate, you're okay. Just masturbate and then you're done, the intrusive thought is just a thought

@Albert de Blois Sorry to hear you had to go through that :( can't help but think that my POCD and the nephew part is more fucked up though which worries me 😔 but i'll keep in mind what you've said. Thank you so much

@rosecoloredgirl It's all good, my girlfriend knew about my OCD from the beginning so she forgave me. Also intrusive thoughts are not wanted so personally, I do no think your thoughts are messed up. You'll be okay though! Fight on, good luck

@Albert de Blois That's good. I don't think this is something I have to tell him as it's very different from your situation plus I feel like it's a compulsion