How do i suck it up? When ocd triggers an anger/panic attack, i often feel so out of control that i either contact others (which will just land me a rejection), shovel food down my belly or break things. Because i can't do my compulsion. What's a better alternative to this? Anything really, to get this to pass quicker.

Before you do anything, I would take a moment to reflect on your self-talk. Telling yourself that you need to “suck it up,” isn’t conducive to recovering. It’s just discounting your struggle as something you’re doing wrong, when it isn’t. This type of thinking will naturally cause you to do even more compulsions in response to the feeling of pain. Try a gentler approach if you can. Instead of punishing yourself for the impulsive habits you have, why not reflect on them without judgement? You could begin journaling each day (sounds like it won’t work, but it’s helped me), practicing mindfulness techniques when you feel yourself about to do something unhealthy, I like the 5-4-3-2-1 game. When I feel an urge to do a compulsion, I stop and focus on my breath. Afterward, I name 5 things I see, 4 things I hear, 3 things I feel, 2 things I smell, and I visualize my #1 safe place in my mind. Give yourself grace when you’re not able to cope with these difficult feelings. Give yourself realistic expectations and remember that recovery is not linear- you will have setbacks, you will do impulsive things sometimes, what’s most important is what goals you’re working toward in the long run.

I LOVE the 5-4-3-2-1 game it’s so helpful!

Instead maybe try meditation that might help you calm down but not give way to compultions

I have a suggestion, you said “ when OCD triggers an anger/panic attack, I often feel so out of control that I either contact others, shovel food down my belly or break things.“ wouldn’t you consider those compulsions? If doing these things make you feel better when you have anxiety or a panic attack I consider this coping-which is a compulsion. And I would suggest to cut out all compulsions when dealing with anything that causes distress.