How do i suck it up? When ocd triggers an anger/panic attack, i often feel so out of control that i either contact others (which will just land me a rejection), shovel food down my belly or break things. Because i can't do my compulsion. What's a better alternative to this? Anything really, to get this to pass quicker.

I still do not have an OFFICIAL diagnosis (I dont have the means to do so) but given my symptoms, past and present in my life hugely suggest OCD is what I am dealing with. I cannot be 100 percent certain but after searching for answers and researching for a long time now, I am fairly certain and confident this is what I am struggling with. Given this step forward, I am making more effort into giving up compulsions. at the current moment I believe to be dealing with ROCD, as I have been having several intrusive thoughts that conflict with my relationship. For starters, recently over the past month or 2, I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts like not being over my ex, being attracted to someone else, losing feelings for my partner and not being in love, etc. I can consciously identify that I dont believe these thoughts to be true but it causes me so much distress and anxiety. It gets extremely unbearable some days, and I have leaned into 2 main compulsions. I have relied on thought checking and googling as my source of relief. At first the googling was genuinely to start finding answers; hence why I have made some of the discoveries I have about OCD including this site. But it developed into every time I was anxious, I would whip my phone out and start googling strictly to find an answer that would reassure me or calm me down. As for thought checking, it acted as a way to reaffirm my love for my girlfriend in my head when I have had the thoughts that collide with my relationship and how I feel about my girlfriend. It worked at first but developed into a compulsion where every time a bad thought got me worked up id either do my normal googling or Id think about that in my head to calm myself down. Over time these compulsions have gotten less and less affective and now when I do them it only gets me more anxious and desperate for reassurance (strengthening the cycle or whatever it is lol). I did some more research and finally have accepted the very real fact that I am going to have to sit in heavy anxiety and not give into compulsions for a while in order to treat this. I have to sit in the thoughts that make me feel all this hightened anxiety and distress without giving into compulsion. to be honest I am scared, the thoughts are more rampant than ever, but I am ready to commit to this. I dont think I am gonna be able to go cold turkey on my compulsions so I am ready for the reality I might relapse on the compulsions sometimes, But am gonna keep going until I can break these shackles OCD has on my life right now. I wanna ask, what is everyones methods they use to avoid giving into compulsion when the thoughts get loud? any advice is welcome :)

Pls help

My OCD is relatively tame compared to when it was at its worst, but the other night I found myself having one of, if not, the worst panic attack I ever had. I was completely hysterical one night, and couldn’t breathe too well due to the uncontrollable sobbing. My body was so tense from the anxiety and trying to withhold my rage for that prolonged period of time and my body was responding to it like some overly traumatic experience, as in, I felt like my blood was vibrating all throughout my body and I lost a lot of motor control due to uncontrollable shaking (couldn’t operate my phone efficiently to text or call for help) and my hands started involuntarily opening, all while not being able to catch my breath. It felt akin to where you’re doing extreme resistance training and your muscle memory moves your limbs on their own, but also uncontrollable shaking. Thankfully, this was an oh fuck moment and I eventually got myself to lock in. I attributed this to just be from tensing so much and anxiety induced, and sure enough I looked up my symptoms (these seem to be common with extreme panic attacks) so I’m not going to obsess with it and wonder if there’s something physical going on. I’m wondering if anyone else experienced something similar and how to thwart them off before it gets unmanageable? I found that subjecting your entire body to cold water (cold shower) literally shocks and as resets your system. I always knew that cold exposure was sworn by for muscle recovery, stress, mood, (every UFC fighter does this and it biologically activates your diving(?) reflex which slows your heart rate) but I never thought about doing it during a panic attack, it just never crossed my mind. This is a go to method for panic for me now (and then soothing with hot water after the few minutes of abrupt ice cold water) but I’d like some for when I’m in public, or some place where a shower isn’t available. Deep breathing has helped me in the past but I’m especially out of practice and i find it impossible when I’m unconsolably sad or mad. So yeah, if anyone has some healthy coping mechanisms, some for in panic and some to nip it in the bud. Hope the cold exposure helps for some people just be mindful of falling if you get into an ice cold shower because it kind of takes your legs out for a second 😭