- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Explaining OCD to loved ones is tough. I also have a confession habit, but my friends, parents, my wife all stuck by me. Hell my wife said “yes” knowing I have ocd :) Use best judgement when explaining what you’re going through. If you think it’s too soon then go with your gut. Just remember the thoughts are all intrusive bullshit shit! *also is your handle a paramore reference? Love that song!
- Date posted
- 4y
My boyfriend knows I have OCD but I don't know if he knows how bad and fucked up it can get (from Harm OCD, to POCD) so far there's this stigma with OCD that it's just wanting things to be organized and having little ticks. When I explain things I have this habit (OCD related) that it needs to be detailed as possible or else it'll feel like i'm leaving things out and it could be a sign of me being a dishonest partner. It's most probably too soon in our relationship as we've only been together for months. As I said I don't think he knows how bad it can get but I'm hoping he understands that it's my sickness that makes me think of fucked up stuff like that especially that he's a nurse so maybe he has more of a scientific grasp on it. When I do explain OCD to him do you think I should go into detail? and yes! it's a paramore reference. after laughter really is the album of my life :) glad to see a fan here too
- Date posted
- 4y
I think you’re being hard on yourself. Most if not all people get intrusive thoughts, we just have a condition that runs it like a broken record. You’re not being dishonest in my opinion. You’re choosing how much of a private health matter you’re ready to share. It can be hard for others to understand. I’ve told a lot of close friends I have ocd, but have only gone into specifics with people I felt I could trust. I’ve also had really positive experiences where people have empathized and been like “oh I get weird thoughts too”. My wife was like oh yeah I’ve had weird sex dreams that I wanted nothing to do with. A friend told me of intrusive harm thoughts he’s had. They can just let them go, ours get stuck in a loop. We got shitty luck in that regard, but it’s treatable!! Use best judgement. Sharing can be a compulsion, so be careful there. You’ve told him you have ocd, I think that’s plenty open and honest! After Laughters incredible, and a great mental health record!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much. One last thing, sometimes I find it hard to believe that he can actually love me without the knowledge of my OCD themes too. Like will he still love me if he knew? all that. It's really hard especially he's probably the first official relationship I've had and I've never felt this way about anyone before. I'm sure he'll understand intrusive thoughts, just not sure if he's accepting if it involves his family already. Trying not to confess since I highly feel it's a compulsion as well and i'm supposed to help myself. And yes! After Laughter's a great album, I'm an artist and it highly inspired my art 😊
- Date posted
- 4y
I wouldn't confess. Speak to a therapist.
- Date posted
- 4y
Will do. Thank you so much.
- Date posted
- 4y
@rosecoloredgirl I agree, ocd attacks what we care about. The themes aren’t your fault. Confessing would give them to much power, and might damage your relationship. Talking to a therapist about them is definitely the right move.
- Date posted
- 4y
@long distance runner “OCD attacks what we care about” write this on my headstone plz
- Date posted
- 2y
what ended up happening? did you tell him? I’m in the same spot
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
- Date posted
- 15w
I have been really really struggling for the past 3 months and haven’t been able to stop intrusive thoughts/ rumination and confessing. It’s making me question my entire life, my relationship and even who I am as a person. It’s mainly effecting my relationship, I am so afraid that I did something or think things that are definitely hurtful to my partner. I know my brain is contorting my own memory and making things seem so much worse. I also know I haven’t done anything bad, all my things I’ve confessed about have been considered “normal” and I’ve been told that “you’re normal, you didn’t do anything wrong”. But I have felt this intense sense of guilt and shame and it doesn’t go away, I can’t even be a normal person anymore. And I keep searching for “just one more thing I need to tell” and I don’t want to keep searching my brain of every time I’ve said or done anything that I can distort and make seem 1000% worse. I’m isolating myself and just feel like I’m a bad person. I keep confessing my thoughts, feeling, urges, etc. to my partner and while I know I would never do any of these I feel like my ocd is trying to convince me that maybe I would because “why else would you think it or feel guilty” and that makes it so much worse. I really need guidance on how to handle this. What do I do to stop feeling like this and heal?
- Date posted
- 14w
okay so, i had this friend i met in the 8th grade when i was 13 when we became friends and my nickname for her was “red” and i had a crush on this friend before we became friends and once we became friends the crush faded away and i just grew a close platonic friendship with her and no longer has any crush or attraction or romantic interest in her. then i got a girlfriend named lisa in the 8th grade also and we were all friends and hung out but that summer going into highschool lisa broke up with me, we dated only for 2 months so you know it wasnt a big deal. and my friend “red” she and my other friend lana we are a trio and they helped me move on from that. then i started 9th grade (my freshman year of highschool) and i went into this year thinking i was gonna stay best friends with this trio but we ended up splitting paths but me and my friend “red” always had a more special bond in the trio we were like the duo because we trauma bonded and dealt with mental health problems. and in the end of my first semester i fell in love with this girl named riley (who became my 3 year serious relationship) and i love this girl so much i met her when i was 15 and she was 14, me and riley (who is my current partner) were very toxic during freshman sophomore and junior year. she was very insecure over my ex from the 8th grade who i didnt care about because she was my first girlfriend. and she was also very insecure over my friend “red” because she was my best friend during the time i was with my ex and she reminds her of my ex for some reason. i still wanted to be friends with “red” at the time and we would get into numerous fights about that. she would control me and who i was friends with and said i couldnt be friends with her and i felt so awful and defeated bc i had a close bond with this friend. she then gave me an ultimatum of either her or my former best friend and i chose my partner obviously but she was so in her head i think that she still broke up with me for like 3 days and that day she broke up with me i had to go home with her since she was my ride home and i was broken and she was obviously angry and i was crying while we were walking out of school and then she stormed off without me all upset and my other guy friend and his girlfriend saw me and went up to me to comfort me and asked what was wrong and i told them she broke up with me and then my partner yells my name very upset from across the street comes back and grabs my arm aggressively and drags me past everyone very aggressively and angry while telling me to stop crying because her mom is going to be upset and ask questions and i felt so bad. we got into the car and i had to try my best not to cry and my partner who was visibly upset a few seconds ago just completely smiled at her mom and asked how her day was with such a happy tone of voice and i was completely in shock. hours later since we were broken up i texted my former friend “red” (the one who my partner broke up with me over) and told her i needed emotional support that reyna had dumped me and i needed a friend. and she came over and talked to me. that was all nothing romantic. and then 2 days later my partner says we are back together and i was happy but felt guilty because i hung out with my friend who she dumped me over. Now years later im still with this partner after many splits but we are finally healthy and healing and shes been super supportive and there for me and loving during my recent journey discovering my ocd. i have been confessing over and over many past mistakes or things i thought were mistakes. i last confessed something on monday and ive been feeling better and relieved after confessing up until yesterday when i remembered a past mistake (which was what i just shared) and now i cant stop ruminating on it and feeling guilty and feel the need to confess this to my partner but i learned that confessing is my ocd compulsion and if i give into it ill be feeding my ocd and not breaking the cycle. but im also feeling conflicted on if i should genuinely let her know and confess because i feel what i did that time was wrong but i dont want to give into my ocd but also what if i basically cheated on my partner by doing that and if i tell her that i did what i did even tho i didnt cheat but i told her i never liked this person even tho i had a crush on the former friend and tried to get my partner to let me keep this friendship because its not like i like her romantically which is true i dont but i used to. so i feel like i betrayed her even especially by hanging out with her so now i dont know if i should tell her or if its my ocd and i dont have to share absolutely everything especially if its in the past. i dont want to lose my partner and im scared if i keep confessing it will ruin our relationship and drive her away but it will also make me lose myself and my own privacy and also feed my ocd and compulsions but im scared if i dont confess ill never stop thinking about it and i will feel like im lying to my partner and like i cheated and i wont be able to enjoy the good moments and the present because im stuck on my past “mistakes” and now im scared ill have the end my relationship to feel better but that will hurt me more but im scared if i stay im just going to try to avoid my partner in fear ill confess or feel the urge to confess every time we speak. i dont know what to do im completely lost this is the hardest thing ive ever dealt with and i have a lot ive dealt with in my life already. im barely 17 i havent had a year of a break
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