I have POCD. I have constant thoughts of raping and molesting children every time I see one everytime I'm near one. Images through my mind. Last year it gotto the point where I aunt to the police station for the medical pictures I look at to turn myself in for child pornography all I didn't feel like a constant danger to society and have distant thoughts of suicide. I thought I'd be dagger in jail. The police officer didn't feel that way and decided to take me to be evaluated. I hot upset and busted or his window,then he needed to take me to jail. While in jail I became severely depressed realizing my pain would never in and they sent me to the hospital. They hired a forensic specialist to find a program. Is was determined there were 12 in the country 2 of which wouldbe eligible for a single case agreement. 2 of which I was denied. Outpatient therapy is only self pay. The hospital days they can only " keep me safe" until I all ready to deal with my thoughts again. I'm tired of the hospital. Medication doesn't work anymore. I'm tired of medication as well. 14 years of my 27 ice been dealing with this. I've decided to love the rest of my life outside of jail where I feel most safe where I inevitably kill myself. I had hope at one point and it is gone. I deserve pain I know. But I want it to be over I'll tired of fighting to be safe. I'm tired of being scared. My case manager sent me this link for support. I can't hold on much longer. I just want to make it through the weekend so I can talk to my therapist

Hey, I have ocd too, I know that it is literally a nightmare but don't give up on life, you are not a bad person, it is the ocd that is a horrible disorder

I have pocd and harm ocd too I also went thru hell 30 plus hospitalizations and I have and am recovering there is hope for you

I've had 27 hospitalizations as an adult. And 13 as a child plus residential as a child. I just want peace. In accepting death it makes it a little relieving to feel like it'll finally be over. I just. I'm so scared. I don't want to be scared anymore.i want to live. This isn't life.

Rogers denied me too due to suicide ideation and aggression so I went to residential at insight

What is insight?

For mood disorders it’s downtown Chicago

I think the part of me that's scared is the part that doesn't want to say goodbye

I'm afraid to feel hopeful again.

Ya cuz u don’t want to be let down

It’s ok to feel without hope it’s human

Everytime. I sink lower and lower

Are they treating you as a pedo or someone with pocd

Cuz u obviously have pocd I do too

It's hard to keep posting myself without it though. I've spent the majority of the weekend crying unable to sleep with racing thoughts of suicide.

Can’t explain the pain of it but it’s unreal

I haven't been able to seem treatment. I've been denied

seek

I want u to text 741-741 and get extra support I do it all the time there is a person that will talk with you when you feel horrible

Have you been denied from treatment at nocd?

There are therapists here that treat pocd and trauma

Not in my state. Noir wit my insurance. My insurance case manager suggested this app

Nocd says it's working with my insurance to figure something out

I hope you find treatment that will work with you!