Is is part of ROCD? My therapist told me that what i had looks like to ROCD but i still doubt it because i explained to him everything but i feel like I'm lying and telling these just to comfort me and to have an excuse to not leave my partner. At the beginning i had thoughts during the whole day and i really was against them and was arguing with them, even crying the whole day or when my girlfriend was calling me i was crying because i felt so guilty to not love her. Now i still think about it during the whole day and have intrusive feelings, or i don't know if they are real but it tells me that i should leave her because i will probably cheat, that my sexual orientation is wrong, that i don't love her anymore, that the relationship is boring, and it triggers me when she isn't here and text with delays (long distance relationship). I'm so lost between all these feelings and all i want is to live the past moments we had because they were the best feelings ive lived. I wasn't doubting anything. I always regret the past and i would do everything to live it again. I feel like nothing is the same anymore. Few weeks ago i was triggered when she was answering with delays to my messages (long distance relationship) and now i totally don't care. I don't even think to her during the day which i really used to. I don't know if i want to stay with her or not. It is weird that i used to care so much , i was crying because my brain was saying that i don't love her and now i don't care anymore at all.

Ruth

Date posted: 4y

Definitely ROCD. but more importantly it's OCD... Im going through the same thing with my boyfriend. I've been dealing with this for a few months now ans it is now starting to calm down. Like the thoughts are still there but I just now shake it off or shake off the feeling because I know that it's this disorder. Once I keep reminding myself on what it is and I keep at it, I start to see myself again. It is very very very hard to do and it sucks so bad. I cry a lot and I'm the type of person that doesn't cry at all. Before what got me was POCD, I got over that and then when I started up this relationship I was comparing so bad to other relationships and even family members it was driving me nuts and now it's stuck on HOCD. It will pass you just have to believe and know it will get better. We are going to have horrible days. And we are going to have amazing ones. Just keeping pushing.! Always here!

richaaa

Date posted: 4y

Did you also have the period when you don't care about your SO at all? Like he could break up and you feel like you wouldn't care. And thank you for answering, i'm sorry that you have to go through these and i really hope we're getting better!

Ruth

Date posted: 4y

@richaaa Yes. And it sucks because I know I do care about him a lot. I love him. And then I feel almost numb like I don't care anymore and don't want to be bothered. My sister goes through it too.

L💖

Date posted: 4y

I'm going through the same thing, it really is horrible :(

moto

Date posted: 4y

Everything you say I feel as well. It’s tough. ERP helps. Knowing that we will never know helps.

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